Melissa Turnbull Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, Resilience, social emotional learning

“I’m Sorry”

“I’m Sorry” 

A combination of words we are all familiar with.

We’ve said them, we’ve received them, we’ve wished for them, we’ve accepted them and we’ve rejected them. 

Humans make mistakes.

Mistakes are the way we grow and learn.

Consequently, this learning process involves others whom our mistakes can directly impact in negative ways. 

 

Professor, author, and researcher Dr. Brenè Brown hosts a wonderful podcast called Unlocking Us which can be found on Spotify or by clicking here (https://brenebrown.com/podcasts/). In a two part podcast from May 6, 2020 titled  “I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters”, Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner discusses the power of apologizing and how to apologize. 

Dr. Lerner goes beyond the limits of “I’m sorry” and dissects the anatomy of a true and meaningful apology. Attached are her “Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology”. These nine crucial points are simplified for reference but are explained in great user friendly detail throughout the podcast. 

 

How can we use “True” apologies in the classroom? 

Although this podcast is not specific to education, here are my takeaways through the lens of a teacher:  

Apologize to children

  • Dr. Harriet Lerner pleads that apologizing warrants respect. Teachers are human too and we make mistakes. Displaying vulnerability and owning up to the mistakes we make creates a safe space for students to talk about their mistakes and feel encouraged to take risks in their learning. 
  • Getting frustrated is okay – but  Dr. Lerner says, “don’t frame it as an apology”. Sometimes we can get frustrated (again, not robots here) but apologizing for frustrations is not meaningful if the blame is placed back on the student. Example: “I am sorry I was upset but you kept interrupting me”.
  • If we can’t apologize to our students, how can we expect them to understand or feel motivated to apologize to us

Model effective apologies for children

    • Improper apologies can weaken connections and therefore damage relationships 
    • We can keep in mind that apologies are not an end to a conversation but allow for the foundation of further conversations to be had. Dr. Lerner advises that the apologizer does not tack “but” or “I’m sorry you feel that way” to the end of an apology as it “cancels” out the meaning. Add ons do not attempt to comfort the hurt party but rather attempt to justify the hurtful behaviour. 
    • Other unnecessary add ons include: “stand up straight”, “look me in the eye”, “say it like you mean it”, “you should think about it more”. Dr. Lerner says those types of conversations can be had later, but to focus on what is really important between the two people – their relationship and the connection they want to maintain
    • We can teach our students that apologies do not solve everything. One is not required to respond with “That’s okay” when someone apologizes because sometimes it is not okay. Instead we can teach students to thank the other party for expressing their apology by saying, “Thank you for the apology” or “I appreciate the apology”. 
    • When apologizing we should empathize to understand what the other person needs at that moment. We can do this by providing people with the time and space they need until they are ready to talk. 

 

 

Link to part 1 and 2 of Dr. Brenè Brown’s podcast Unlocking Us with guest star Dr. Harriet Lerner titled “I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters” published on May 6, 2020 –

https://brenebrown.com/podcast/harriet-lerner-and-brene-im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters/

Will Gourley Constant Learning, COVID19, Emergency Distance Learning, General, Indigneous Ways of Knowing, LGBTQ2S, Making a Difference Through Education, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Resilience, self reflection, Student wellbeing, Teacher Wellness, Truth and Reconciliation, Wellbeing, Year End Reflection

Hindsight is…

Please don’t make me finish the title until the last second has ticked off the clock. I may have developed a defensive outlook about this trip around the sun. While I know this Gregorian Calender measurement of time will soon be in the rearview mirror of our lives, it is still a battle avoiding the queasiness and wincing that come when I think about all we have been through in 2020. Can resolutions be far behind?

Dang! I just wrote 2020

My understanding, perhaps acceptance, of this year is coming into clearer focus. It has been an extraordinary year on so many levels, and thus a great opportunity for personal growth. It has also been an educational year because, dang, I learnt a lot. 

Dang! I just wrote ‘dang’ again. 

I also taught a lot, and despite it feeling like a roller coaster ride from hell along the way, it meant that there were many lessons for me as an educator in 2020 too. Which made me happy to find this quote below after thinking I made it up myself. 

“If you are not learning, then you are not teaching.” Vernon L Smith*

A wise and gentle reminder that there was always something new to learn about ourselves, the students we teach, and the world around us during periods of unexpected loss, labour strife, professional uncertainty, and a global crisis. Smith’s words echoing loudly as I type. Here’s my version of it à la René Descartes. 

I learn, therefore I am a teacher.

So here is what I learnt from hindsight/2020:

  1. Take time to grieve and offer comfort first when students/families are hurting. The lessons can wait. It hurts to lose a student to senseless violence. Our school felt this very deeply last January. 
  2. Sometimes governments do not have the best interests of the population in their actions. Standing up to malfeasance and legislated tyranny is the right and a responsibility of all educators. 
  3. Mental health matters more than marks. Students/educators who struggle will not miraculously get better after a call to a helpline or a conversation with a social worker/psychologist. It is a process that takes time and patience before progress. I learned that there is much more to learn in this area to better support students, colleagues, and myself. 
    Remember that no matter how many times people tell you to take care of yourself first, there have to be reasonable boundaries and supports to make that happen. An encouraging message from admin, a Board Director’s email blast, or the Minister of Ed is not going to suffice. Set your boundaries. Do what you can do within them. Take time to be still. The work can and will wait. 
  4. Equity in schools needs to go way beyond a single day in the classroom, Orange/Pink/Purple shirt days are great starting points, but most not become performative events, but rather actionable beginnings to build on everyday in classrooms. There are so many amazing inclusion and equity resources being shared via school boards and social media for educators committed to allyship and activism in areas of Truth and Reconciliation, anti-black racism, LGBTQ2+, and culturally responsive relevant pedagogy. I learned that words in a classroom mean very little if they are not accompanied by opportunities to critically engage learners to become agents of change. 
  5. I learned not all educators are ready to confront their privilege and unearned advantage. I also learned that acknowledging my own privilege comes with the responsibility to examine my pedagogy and practice. It is a chance to unlearn, learn, and then teach. 
  6. If you are going to move into emergency distance learning within a short period of time, take it slow and make sure you have an ergonomic work space for those extended hours of screen time ahead. I learned that not all students have the same amounts of available space or bandwidth required for virtual school. I also had to accept that some students checked out the moment learning became asynchronous. 
  7. Rethink, question, iterate, bend, blend, and break everything you have done in the past to teach. Say goodbye to “we’ve always done it this way thinking”. Reimagine your reading lists, your math instruction, your use of worksheets, your classroom management, and your assessment approaches. This will not be easy, but it will be worth it. Embrace the discomfort. Learn from it, and then teach forward knowing 2020 taught us all so much. 

Thank you for a wonderful year at the speed of education. Please feel free to add what 2020 taught you in the comments below. Cheers to you all, and to a safe trip around the sun in 2021. 

*  There is comfort in the knowledge that the quote above is attributed to a Nobel Prize winning thinker because before checking, I thought the words above were mined straight out of my mind. Needless to say, I am happy to share a common thought in esteemed company. Searching out the source of the quote also allowed me to discover some of Smith’s other vast body of work in economics.

 

Melissa Turnbull 21st Century Learning, Celebrating Success, Occasional Teaching, Remote Learning, Resilience

Occasional Teaching Online (part 3 of 3): My Favourite Things

"I love school"

 

If I had to pick my favourite thing about Occasional Teaching online the answer would easily be the students I meet each day. This picture was a screenshot from one of my supply days right before the winter break. “I love school” a student commented, randomly and unprompted in the chat box of Google Meet. Needless to say this reinforced my realization of how resilient students are. Comments like this keep me grounded during increasingly challenging times. 

 

What is it like to supply teach in an FRL classroom? 

 

I’ve put together some ideas in hopes to paint a picture of what it is like for my fellow OT’s out there.

Classroom management: Google add ons are helpful to download to view students who are using the ‘raise hand’ or ‘nod’ features. In FRL settings, I have found it important to emphasize many of the same things I do in the classroom, such as reminders to be respectful if someone else is talking or coming up with hand signals when students want to talk, agree, or need to use the washroom during a lesson. Each classroom teacher has different ways of doing this, so I find checking in with the students at the beginning of each day to be the most helpful.  

Social and emotional learning: Expect to enjoy some time each day for sharing, community circles and brain breaks. 

Academic learning:

 

Yet again as we head back into the unknown, remember to find what grounds you… find your favourite things.

Will Gourley Constant Learning, COVID19, Emergency Distance Learning, General, Making a Difference Through Education, Resilience, self reflection, Year End Reflection

2020 – the roller coaster no one in education asked to ride

Please secure any loose items and keep your hands inside the car at all times.
Do not exit the ride until it comes to a full and complete stop.

Most of the time the exhilaration of a fast fun paced ride, filled with brief mind boggling G-forces, would come next. At an amusement park perhaps, but it is 2020 after all, and this ain’t your average roller coaster of a year. From the get go, it was destined to be different as it was determined to distinguish itself from the decades of other “normal” years before it. To add even more gravity to the moment, we all had take this ride, and hold on for dear life regardless of height. I want to share what it felt like for me this year.

2020 AsAroLLerCoaSTerInEdUcatIon

Instead of the fun and excitement that might normally have been anticipated, this year felt more like being in a time warped slow motion sequence while being suffocated inside of a dumpster that was on fire and rolling down a steep mountain. WEEEE! quickly gave way to AAAGHH!!!

Everytime I opened the lid of my own flaming dumpster car to look out at 2020, I saw flashes of things to grieve, endure, flee, confront, fix, stretch, and learn from.

It was as if the ride was designed to keep going non-stop and at a nauseating speed while everyone was expected to remain strapped in and trying not to lose what they brought on the ride. At times, it felt like working in a vacuum. My lungs empty of air while my mind and body rush up and over the same structure over and over again.

2020 AsAroLLerCoaSTerInEDucaTIon

A year.
A strike.
A job action.
A global pandemic.
A great deal of uncertainty.
A move to emergency distance learning.
A realization that not everything is equitable.
A lack of direction, support and resources at times.
A realization that things may never be the same again.
A new virtual space to occupy, connect, and teach within.
A nagging concern that students may not be coping with this.
A continuous uncertainty around teaching in September.
A cautious return to the classroom – or virtual school.
A heightened vigilance around masks and sanitizing.
A disruptive reorganization with new schedules.
A newly updated math curriculum added in.
A cough that clears crowded classrooms.
A constant need for mask checks.
A need to maintain distances.
A muting mask and shield.
A gasp for fresh air.
A firm resolve.
A bit of hope.
A new year.
A dream.

As this ride finally runs out of track, I’m thankful to be physically in one piece, but still in need of greater peace of mind over this winter break. Recovering from this ride is going to take time. While figuratively staggering off of this year’s roller coaster, I am already heading back to the line to wait and go again.

Looking back on the past 52 weeks of this ride, I am trying to see how this year shaped my personal practice as an educator. I mean, the 2020 roller coaster possessed all the thrilling twists, stomach churning turns, dizzying highs, and sinking lows which no one could have expected. It came as no surprise then that enjoying the ride, catching my breath, or being able to re-orient myself relative to the world around me would not come easy. Despite it all, I find myself resolved to bend, blend or break what has been my instructional practice in order to do better in 2021.

It is perhaps because of this discombobulation, I have questioned everything that I have ever done as an educator. Stay tuned to see where this goes.

In the meantime expressions of gratitude, encouragement, and optimism to all educators who held on through the tumultuous ride that was education in 2020. You have indeed been the models of grace, resilience, resolve, creativity, persistance, and integrity in our profession. You have been inspirations to me whenever I lifted the lid of my flaming dumpster car to look out and take a breath. I’m looking forward to teaching in 2021 because of y0u.

 

Michelle Fenn Challenging Topics, COVID19, General, Inspiring Teachers, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Modern Learning, Questioning, Resilience, self reflection, social emotional learning, Teacher Wellness, Teacher Working Conditions, wellness, Wellness

Toxic Positivity in a Brave New World

I am a huge science fiction fan and was excited to start the new TV series “Brave New World”.  I read the book for my “The Science in Science Fiction Literature” course (I know, cool course right?) in University and I was looking forward to the TV series. In the futuristic “Brave New World”, society has developed mood altering drugs that everyone is required to take to maintain their “levels” so that they can have calm, happy dispositions all of the time.  The result is that the characters don’t really have to “feel” anything deeply.  If there is discomfort or grief they can take a “soma” from their Pez dispenser-type tool and go on with life in peace and harmony.  The struggle for the characters is that once they discover the power of feeling true human emotion they want to experience it, thus going against the social norm.

The “Brave New World” narrative parallels the dangers of toxic positivity.  Psychologygroup.com defines toxic positivity as: “the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in the denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.”  Think of it like too much of a good thing can be bad for you.  Phrases like, “It could be worse,” or “Focus on the positive,” “Don’t worry, be happy,” may seem innocuous, but in fact reject, repress or deny negative emotions. The message is that it is not OK to feel anything except positive and happy.

So what does this have to do with education?  First of all, teachers excel at wearing stress and being busy as a badge of honour.  I’m guilty of doing it. I’ve heard myself say that I worked all weekend preparing for the upcoming week. We have established this as a norm in educational culture.  Human beings work best when they give themselves time to rejuvenate.  Teacher burn out is a real thing. I honestly think if I walked into a staff room and announced, “I totally relaxed all weekend and just read my novel.” I would face sneers and hear “Must be nice,” muttered around me. Not because teachers are bad people, but because as a culture we don’t value taking care of ourselves as much as we value productivity. Being positive about being overworked and stressed out is toxic positivity, and it is rampant in education.

The problem isn’t with genuinely upbeat and effusive people. Those people are rare.  Treasure them. The problem lies in people denying, repressing, minimizing or invalidating negative emotions.  Keeping calm and carrying on can be counterproductive and harmful to mental health.  While there are well intentioned people providing “just do it” kind of strategies and messages about being positive; those intentions may end up making people feel bad about feeling bad, adding guilt and shame to the mix of emotions.

So, what can we do?  We can try to shift the narrative to value and validate the real emotions that people are feeling.  We can try to give ourselves permission to say, “You know what, I’m not ok right now. I’m grieving the way in which I used to work and live.  I’m hoping that it will soon change.” It is OK to be sad and yet still feel positive about the future.  You can feel both things.

When someone shares their sadness, anger, grief or frustration with you, try to sincerely validate those emotions.  True empathy is saying, “I’m here to embrace the suck with you,” not minimizing the emotions of others.  You can be curious and ask questions, “That must be frustrating, tell me more about that, I’m here to listen.”  Then, do that.  Just listen.

I try to give myself grace and forgiveness.  I have not learned to knit, bake bread or trained to run a marathon during the pandemic. Some days, just putting two feet on the carpet beside my bed is a big win.  I have to remind myself daily that is OK not to be the “Quarantine Queen.” It is OK not to be productive beyond my wildest imagination during a global pandemic. I try to avoid offering platitudes about positivity. I try to validate the feelings of the people around me. I will try to give up “soma” in my Brave New Covid-19 World, throw out the fake positivity, and feel all of the range of emotions – good, bad and ugly.

 

 

Michelle Fenn 21st Century Learning, Celebrating Success, Challenging Topics, Constant Learning, Distance learning, e-learning, Engaging students with online learning, General, Inspiring Teachers, Making a Difference Through Education, Mental Health, Modern Learning, Resilience, Start of the year, Teacher Wellness, Teacher Working Conditions, Teaching online, Technology, Technology in school, Use of Technology, Using technology well, wellness, Wellness

Teachers Are Still Rocking It-

In March we were “Emergency Learning”.  Now we are either teaching “virtually” or “socially distanced” in classrooms.  We never thought we’d be teaching from behind a screen, learning all kinds of new technology tools, wearing masks and shields in front of students or removing all of the manipulatives from classrooms. We don’t know how long this will last.  We don’t know if COVID will worsen.  Educators aren’t used to not knowing things.  Most teachers I know like schedules, routines, knowledge and thrive on consistency.

However, in the midst of the new rules, changes and all of the things that we “can’t” do-teachers are still rocking it.  Throughout the summer I worked with a team of teachers providing virtual professional learning for KPRETFO.  Hundreds of teachers used their summer holidays to learn about technology tools before they even knew whether they were going to be teaching virtually or not. They logged in at 10 am some days in order to learn and some teachers even came to all twenty sessions that were provided. Educators were dedicated to their professional learning all summer long.

At the end of August, I had the privilege of working with another fabulous team of educators who dedicated their time to providing a three day virtual conference for over 500 Ontario Educators with ECOO.  These educators gave up their time to organize all kinds of schedules, sponsorship, presenters, keynotes and much more.  In addition, over a hundred educators created and presented webinars for their colleagues.  It truly FELT like a face-to-face educational technology conference took place in my living room!
There was a feeling of sharing, helping and collegiality.  It was exhausting but my bucket was over flowing.

As our school year is now well under way teachers are reaching out to me for assistance at all times of the day and night through email because they are dedicated to their students and want to do their best.  They are attending our evening “PD in your PJs” webinar sessions through our local union office to learn new tech tools at 7 pm on the week nights. The educators that I work with continually astound me with their dedication to professional learning.

I recently binge watched a Netflix series called “Away”.  It is a futuristic fictional narrative about the first manned mission to Mars.  The astronauts were in uncharted territory.  They encountered problems along the way for which they had not trained.  They endured mental and physical fatigue beyond anything they had ever felt before.  They were innovative and creative in order to solve problems and reach their goal.  While watching, I couldn’t help thinking about the parallels between this movie and the present state of education. We’ve heard that as we design these new learning structures and environments it is like we are building an airplane while flying. If I am going to stay true to the analogy here it is really more of a rocket ship! Educators are facing situations that they hadn’t even thought about in Faculty of Education Programs.  They are encountering issues of teaching without many of the tools they normally use such as manipulatives, group work or technology. They are suffering mentally and physically. They are being innovative  problem solvers around tools, equipment and technology.  They are building the rocket ship while they are flying it and it is full of students.

Are educators stressed?  For sure.  Are their nerves frayed?  You bet.  Are they innovative, creative, dedicated and passionate about learning and teaching? Absolutely, without a doubt.  Every educator is a front line worker,  doing their best, making a difference, being brave beyond imagination and truly an inspiration.

 

 

Michelle Fenn Challenging Topics, Emergency Distance Learning, Inspiring Teachers, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Resilience, Teacher Appreciation, Teacher Wellness, Teacher Working Conditions, The Arts, wellness, wellness

Inspiration During the COVID Crisis

I know that as I write this, I speak from a fortunate position. We are working safely from home and all of us are still healthy.  Other than not being able to see extended family and friends, having some aches and pains from being in front of the computer and get out to the hair dresser, my family is coping pretty well with isolation.  While so many are suffering it has been humbling and inspiring to witness the resilience, creativity and kindness of those around us.

Music is everywhere.  Concerts on television bringing Canadian artists from their living rooms to ours, live Facebook concerts of our favourite Canadian musicians, and videos from friends and family sharing their music.  This week I joined a virtual Ukulele play and sing along with the Bytown Ukulele Group from Ottawa.  I played and sang along with people from British Columbia, Ireland, Nova Scotia and here in Peterborough!

Art is everywhere.  People are painting anything and everything!  From rocks to sea shells to paint nights with friends.  There are sketches and sculptures and pottery being made. From digital art to creating sketches from tutorials with famous artists; people are creating all kinds of beautiful art.

Dance is everywhere.  There are Tik-Tok videos of dances making teenagers get up and move and follow along.  Dance studios are going online to continue extra curricular dance lessons.  30 second dance parties are happening in my living room whenever we need a break from the computer screen.  Thankfully, none of that is being recorded!

There is culinary prowess being celebrated.  Yeast and flour are hot commodities right now because people are trying their hands at baking bread.  People are posting meals they have never made before and swapping recipes with friends.  People are growing things on their windowsills and in their backyards for the first time.

Innovation is everywhere.  People are trying their hands at DIY projects and coming up with innovative ways to connect online.  Teachers are learning digital tools they have never used before in order to connect with their students. We’ve been participating in online trivia and poker nights.  My son plays Jackbox party games with his friends while also chatting online or streams a movie together.

Most of all, I have witnessed incredible kindness.  I joined a Facebook group called Peterborough Shares.  At first it was mainly to communicate where to find particular grocery items and post information about shopping etc., It has since become a forum of connection where people ask for help and others respond.  From a new mom recently unemployed to a family who lost their home to fire, people are answering to the calls for help.  Something as simple as finding left handed scissors for a child to complete schoolwork or finding a hand crafted Mother’s Day gift, people are coming together to share that information and supporting one another in an unprecedented way.  More than ever, my city feels like a community.

I know I am in a fortunate position.  I am grateful every day that we took my 87 year old mom out of her retirement home when this all began and that she has remained healthy.  I am grateful that my 16 year old son has friends he connects with, teachers who care and a love of artistic things that feed his soul.  I am grateful that my husband and I can work from home and that he goes out and bravely gets the things we need.  I am grateful that in the middle of all of the chaos, in the middle of the grief and sadness, there is hope.

Will Gourley e-learning, General, Making a Difference Through Education, Resilience, Teacher Working Conditions, wellness

May the 4th be with your students

Anyone else feeling a bit gutted after hearing the news that we will not be back in our classrooms until May the 4th? (writer raises hand) While listening to the Minister of Education deliver this news today I ran a range of emotions. Firstly, I am thankful that the government was proactive when it came to our collective health by insisting on physical distancing and staying at home.* As a result, the lives of 2 000 000 students, 200 000 educators, support staff, and their families will benefit greatly from being apart. For me this seems like light years away.

Heeding the Chief Medical Officer of Health’s suggestion to close our schools beyond March Break was a prudent move, but it all happened so suddenly that we were all left with a great deal of uncertainty heading into the time off. With such short notice, it was hard to orchestrate a full scale instructional response to the news. Like so many of the #onted family, there was some concern because information was not forthcoming. I remember saying to my students(Gr 7) that it was more important for us all to follow the advice of doctors to do our part to limit the spread of COVID 19 than it was to worry about homework.**

Our last day in the classroom before the break was supposed to be a celebration of hard work to start Term 2, but instead it was a sombre send off with more questions than there were answers at the time. I only find consolation in this now knowing that the timing of this year’s March Break probably saved countless members in our schools from illness.

Not having our students in classes eliminated millions of potential interactions that would have undoubtedly accelerated the spread of the COVID 19. I am very relieved not to be in a workplace that’s traditionally susceptible to transmission of known/unknown and unchecked viruses. We have all been in a classroom with a student/teacher who should have stayed home that day. I am not lying when I say it feels like germ warfare in school sometimes. It is a relief, to be doing my part in social isolation especially as I have a 96 year old and a severe asthmatic at home.

In fact, although really missing my students/collegues, I am thankful that we have all been given the chance to stay at home in order to slow the spread of COVID 19, to look after our own health, and to tend to the wellbeing of our families. This is hard on all of us in so many ways because it is all so new. As I shared with a number of people, “Normal” is sick and its replacement “New Normal” is here bringing with it some good and bad to each of our days. The problem is that it keeps changing faster than we’d like.

Today’s announcement lifted my spirits because it meant that if we all do our part, then we have a date for a return to Normal. It also means this time can be curated to engage our students further in this year’s learning. Not knowing what was going to happen had me struggling to remember what day of the week it was since my routines were put in limbo with each postponement. No more days when, suddenly at 7 am, I wake up thinking I was late for work only to realize my body was dealing with the “New Normal” while still on “Normal” time.

Even though we will only be meeting via Google Classroom, our class will be back in session. After contacting families and students this week, it is clear they are excited to be back, even if it will only be digitally until May 4th. Fingers crossed it won’t need to be longer. In the meantime we will get on with the connecting, communicating, and learning for now.

Whether we return to the classroom on May the 4th or not, I couldn’t help but repeat the wish I shared in the title. May the 4th be with your students, and while we stay at home may every one of us be healthy and safe.

*Although arguably, essential and non-essential jobs may be a future debate topic.
** I did promise them some work via our Google Classroom once March Break was officially over.

Will Gourley Challenging Topics, General, Making a Difference Through Education, Mental Health, Resilience, self reflection, Teacher Wellness, Teacher Working Conditions, Weather

The end is here

The end (of January) is here. Thankfully. I thought wrapping up 2019 would have signaled my surrender. I didn’t know another white flag needed to be waved so quickly, but here goes.

The month of January has been particularly trying on my mental health and well being. When I say my mental and health and wellbeing, it’s important to know that it implies the way a lot of my colleagues in education are feeling right now. It’s tough sledding right now. Let me explain what’s been going down.

The usual demons

The entire month has elapsed as a slow motion dream sequence of continually compartmentalized interactions. Meet here, teach now, listen here, discuss there, teach again, receive devastating news, listen, meet, teach, share, support, listen some more, put on a brave face, teach, weep for a student lost in a senseless act, grieve, cope, support, listen even more, meet, teach, and try to make sense of what the heck happened?

I’d like to blame Mother Nature for the storms, poor commutes, and frigid school days, but I can’t because I bought snow tires which ensured that the weather would only be bad on weekends this month. I’d like to say it’s the flu, but I can’t because I got my first flu shot in 10 years. I’d like to say that my students are being difficult, but I can’t because they are truly interesting and engaging learners.

So it’s got to be me right? I’ll own my part of things knowing that I am sharing with 7.2 billion others in January right now. Let me reiterate. It’s been an incredibly difficult month even though my usual January demons were uncharacteristically co-operative? Now that the month is over things can get better right? Either that, or something really bad is in store for the future once the demons get back from vacation. Fingers crossed, salt over my left shoulder, ladders put away, black cats all in their homes, and artificial rabbit’s foot rubbed something more positive is possible. Anything will be better than the start of 2020.

This January’s tragic events were completely out of our hands. Yet, as teachers, we were all working together in support of our students, as well as one another. At my school, the death of a student on UIA Flight 752 was devastating. Upon confirmation of the news, it was as if the air had been taken from our lungs in a flash. It was hard to breath that day. We were all in shock, and had to put on a strong face for our students and each other as the news unfolded which was not easy.

We are told to try and return things to normal as quickly as possible, but all I remember is feeling numb in the weeks that followed. I wonder how normal I looked trying to hide how it hurt to lose a student? In fact it has taken me a few weeks to even process the feelings in order to share them here.

Despite, therapy dogs, social worker support, and incredibly kind admin/school board officials it has been one of the toughest times I’ve ever experienced as a teacher.  When tragic and senseless events occur the losses are hard to overcome regardless of the supports in place. Finding “normal” again would have been very tough without help, but isn’t enough in itself. This leaves many of us having to manage some of the restoration on our own outside of school.

Setting aside a bit of quiet time to process each day helped. As simple as that sounds, it is hard to shut it all down at the end of the day or over the weekends. Taking time to remember the good things and dwell for some time on positive memories helps healing to begin. Sometimes laughter helps too. Especially, when the humour comes in the form of a joke, a meme, or a witty remark. Thank God for animal videos and Reddit.

As teachers we live and breath our callings. Our learners occupy a huge space of our thoughtlives. We have them with us as we process our days whether we are at school or not. There have been countless times where I’m reminded of a student, past and present, in a casual conversation with friends or family. The life of an educator guarantees that you will accumulate some incredible memories, and this is largely a good thing. For me there has been so much joy in reflection back on 2019, but in contrast comes a much harsher start to 2020 with the loss of a beautiful soul from our school family. As February takes over the calender, I am glad to say the end(of January)is here.

Wishing you all health, happiness, and good memories for the rest of the year and beyond.

Michelle Fenn 21st Century Learning, Behaviour Management, Building Inclusion, Challenging Topics, Classroom Management, Inquiry, Inspiring Students, Inspiring Teachers, Learning About Your Students, Making a Difference Through Education, Mindfulness, Modern Learning, Professional Learning and Growth, Questioning, Resilience, Students as Teachers, The Global Competencies

Say Less, Ask More

Sometimes the smallest change can make a huge difference, especially in education. Things such as greeting students individually upon arrival at school can set the tone for the entire day.  Small changes in habitual behaviours can improve communication and relationships with students.

Over the last few months I’ve been reading the work of Michael Bungay Stanier.  Most recently I’ve been reading “The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More and Change the Way You Lead Forever”.  I admit, that at first blush, it doesn’t sound as though this book has much relevance to elementary education.  However, as I was reading I kept making connections to communicating with students more effectively to encourage independence.  As learning becomes more inquiry based in many classrooms, teachers are having to move into more of a coaching role.  I think that the education sector as a whole has made some assumptions that teachers know how to be effective coaches and facilitators.  In my own teaching practice, there has been a huge learning curve.  Teaching through inquiry isn’t about leaving students to their own devices.  Students generally aren’t familiar with the curriculum and other than being children, they aren’t experts on child development.  Educators have to be guides for student learning.  But what exactly does that mean and how do we transition to this type of teaching?

For me the biggest change and challenge in becoming more of a guide in my classroom was talking less and letting the students do the learning. I am a problem solver, helper and rescuer and I’m sure many teachers can relate, which is why it is so hard to be quiet and back off.  I’ve also learned that asking questions might be easy, but asking effective questions is a skill for teachers and students alike.

So what did I learn from a “coaching” book that might help a classroom teacher? Keep in mind, these examples might be better suited for the older grades.  You might need to keep it a bit more simple for Kindergarten.  However, in most cases, better questions get better answers.  Here are some examples:

A student comes in from recess and is visibly upset.  Instead of asking, “What’s wrong? Did something happen at recess?  Can I help?”  Try asking just one question, “What’s on your mind?” and then be quiet and listen. The question “What’s on your mind?” is a focused question and invites someone to get into the heart of the matter. Sometimes all that is needed is a venting session and the child feels better.  You don’t always have to be a rescuer or problem solver. Most of the time, kids just want to be heard.

Normally in a situation like this I’ll ask, “Can I help?’ or “Would you like some help?”  However, the small change to “HOW can I help?” helps the student to articulate their request.  In addition, it gives them the opportunity to identify the solution and not have the adult jump in to solve things for them.

Tweaking the questions that we ask could improve communication and lead to more effective answers.  In addition, asking focused questions could empower students and lead to more independence. Michael’s work and questioning techniques are helpful for dealing with the people in your workplace.  You can sign up for Michael Bungay Stanier’s “The Coaching Habit” Podcast online and find other great coaching resources at Box of Crayons .