In a previous post I shared insights to how I stove to establish and build positive relationships with students at the start of the school. When I wrote that post, I thought it would be a stand-alone piece because I had yet to seriously consider how nurturing positive relationship with and between students involves similar but different approaches than simply building or establishing them. Additionally, as the school year progresses, I’ve been reflecting on the ways that I’m nurturing positive relationships with and between students to continue supporting their learning. Therefore, in this post I’ll share five ways that I’m striving to nurture positive relationships with and between students in the hopes that the ideas I share will provide insight or guidance to other educators. The five approaches below are in no specific order or hierarchy but they do follow a basic structure where I briefly describe the approach, why I use it, and how I have seen that it works to nurture positive relationships in the classroom.
- Find time to meet with each student 1 on 1
Each term, I make time to meet with each student 1 on 1 so that I can provide individualized instruction, check-in on their progress related to given tasks, provide feedback, gain insight to their learning strengths and needs, and just generally see how they’re doing. I find that students who may be reluctant to share knowledge and experiences in whole group or small group settings are much more open to sharing in a 1 on 1 setting. I also find the 1 on 1 meeting shows students a certain level of interest and care that they seem to value and appreciate; I say this because I have yet to experience any student who is reluctant to meet with me or engage in some level of conversation during our 1 on 1 meetings. To ensure I can meet with all students within a reasonable timeframe and obtain the information I need, I keep the meetings brief, set clear meeting goals for myself and students, and take notes for future reference.
- Start and end each week with check-ins
To begin and end each week, I pose three questions for students as way for me to quickly check-in to see how their doing. The questions are usually what I perceive to be low-risk questions that avoid asking students deeply personal information in a large group setting. For example, in the past I’ve asked students about a highlight of their weekend, how they would spend their day if the weekend was extended or whom is the first person they like to share positive news. I ask students these questions to signal to them that I care and I am interested in their lives beyond the classroom in addition to the questions being a way for me to gain insight to their experiences so that I can find meaningful ways to include them in assignments and activities. Since I started this practice, if for some reason I forget to pose the questions students will remind me that I forgot to do the check-in; their reminders signals to me that they appreciate our weekly check-ins.
- Compliment and offer words of encouragement
Whenever I provide any feedback to students whether it be oral or written, I begin by recognizing the things that they are doing well. I do this to remind students and myself that they have valuable knowledge and skills that are working to support their learning and they need to continue using to leverage their strengths to further support their learning. I also actively look for opportunities to genuinely compliment students whether it be for a new haircut, helping a peer, or showing growth and improvement in their learning to ensure that they know that I see and recognize positive things about them. I have found that these words and gestures work to create positive relationships and a positive learning environment fueled by positive energy.
- End the week with fun activities
Each Friday, I end the week with a period where students and I engage in large and small group games. Some of the large group games that we play include, BINGO, Silent ball, and Around the World, while some of the small group games we play include, Uno, Chess, and Jenga. I implemented what my students and I call Friday Funday or tech free time, as an intentional pause from content-focused instruction to prioritize skill development that supports student learning, such as collaboration, communication, and relationship building. Since implementing Friday Funday or tech free time, I’ve noticed that students are more open to working with peers whom they may not consider their friends and they engage in more positive peer communication.
- Model respectful communication
Whether I am speaking to students in large groups, small groups or 1:1, I practice respectful communication using a calm direct tone. For me this sounds like, when asking students to do something, saying please and thank you. Asking them questions instead of making assumptions or accusations and reminding students that I am here and available to support them in being successful in their learning. I find modeling respectful communication works to create a calm respectful climate conducive to learning that students seem to appreciate. Some of the ways that I have witnessed students appreciating my approaches is that they speak to me respectfully, they avoid wondering the halls during lessons, and I have fewer behavioural issues or concerns.
