I’m reminding you of this story because I think it captures exactly how important our names are to people. Names are a huge part of our identities. At times they link us to culture and family while other times they represent the parts of us that we know deeply and personally about ourselves. They can demonstrate a transition or change in our identities – sometimes changing surnames, for example, due to marriage, divorce, adoption, or choice. Sometimes that looks like changing a first name, using a different version or a name that better fits one’s gender identity. Other times people may choose to be recognized by their nicknames or terms of endearment. In fact, in my Filipino culture it is common for people to have their birth name and another name that is more commonly used. I have some cousins that we fondly call ‘Bong’ and ‘Nene’, for example.
When we honour students’ names, we are telling them how important they are to us. It creates a classroom environment where students can feel seen, acknowledged, and respected. It models acceptance for the other students in the class and we are being given a gift of knowing a child for who they know they are and want to be. We may know students who will change their names several times throughout their schooling and it’s important that they feel supported and accepted.
How do we honour students’ and their names, whether they are chosen or given or changing? The first step is to be approachable and open minded. Know that students may have names you have never heard before; ask them to teach you how to say their names properly. This shows them how important it is to you, as the educator, that they have advocacy over how they want to be addressed at school. Should students decide they want to be called a different name than what appears on their school registry, abide by their wishes. Sometimes that’s a change in name and it’s okay to ask whether they want you to share this information with the class or if they are just inviting you to know them. It’s our job to keep them safe and to respect their privacy and wishes.
Discuss varied and real life examples of why people change their names. Share your own story if you’re comfortable! I often share my story of how it is common for people to change their names after they marry, but I chose to keep my name because it reminds me of how close I am with my own mother. It’s important to allow space for students to understand that identity can be determined in different ways, including conscious choice of what feels right or best for oneself. Share the public stories of famous people who talk about their names to build understanding as to why it’s important to honour and respect one another.
Ultimately, using the right names with correct pronunciation are a way we show care and respect for ourselves and each other. That can set the tone for the classroom spaces we cultivate. It’s important for students to feel seen for their authentic selves and as the educator in the room, we can model that explicitly. Names are so powerful and so deeply necessary for all of us to feel seen and validated. As the late, great Tina Turner said, “I’ll give up all that other stuff, but only if I get to keep my name. I’ve worked too hard for it.”
