It’s the last day of 2019! I have to admit that as I blog, I’m often changing ideas and it always takes me a minute to determine whether or not I will press “publish” on the pieces that I write. Sometimes I think that they’re too personal or that they aren’t quite finished or polished but eventually the idea forms, somehow gets written, and that button is pressed. This month, this is my fourth piece of writing and I think I’ll hit publish on this one.
Every time that there is a break in the year, I always seem to come down with something. LIke many other educators out there, the moment you get the chance to rest, it’s like your body shuts down for a bit to make sure that you do just that. Sadly, this year was no different for me. I took my vitamins and kept plowing through the beginning of the break as something was brewing. It hit just after Christmas and I’ve been taking it easy ever since.
During this time, I’ve had the chance to reflect on the year and although there were painful moments, it’s been refreshing. 2019 was a year with challenges for me both personally and professionally. From my health to making the decision to return to the classroom, there were a lot of emotions swirling around this year as I battled. Coming out on the other side, I have to say that I feel like I’m in that place where I’m truly content. Sure, there’s always room for growth but I’m actually in a really great place as I look towards 2020 and I’m grateful to have had the chance over the last few days to think about the highs and (definite) lows of the year.
I’ve been asked a number of times whether or not I will make New Year’s Resolutions and while I often make them, I think this year I want to be more clear and specific about what is is that I want in my life and work towards that. Here are 3 areas that I have identified that I would like to work on for 2020:
- Speaking My Truth. Many may know me as outspoken and even with that, this year I noticed that over the past few years I found myself drawing more and more within, afraid of being perceived as angry or disgruntled or argumentative. What that did was left me internalizing similar feelings and smiling through difficult and painful experiences; leaving me in an emotional state of unrest. In the long run, the only person that I ended up hurting was, myself. The past few months have been quite freeing as I have decided to no longer navigate spaces where my voice cannot be freely heard and accepted and am learning to speak my truth with love. Some things are difficult to say and yet need to be heard. This has been a process and I know that 2020 will bring further opportunities for me to grow in this area. Rather than being fearful of the perceptions of others, I’m going to embrace my truth and speak it when necessary, and I’m learning that it’s often necessary.
- Accepting Help. Often the first person to offer to help and yet the last person to accept it or a compliment without a rebuttal. I have an amazing colleague who has mentioned this to me a few times and I know this to be true about myself. Never wanting to be perceived – again that word – as a burden to others, I have often overworked myself to get a task accomplished rather than letting others join in or support the work that I might be doing. It’s time to let go of this one. In 2020, I’m going to say yes to help when it appears in its various forms.
- Defining Fun. This may seem silly but I don’t always know how to really have fun. Sure I love laughing and joking around with people but if I’m really asked what my idea of fun is, I might say things that I enjoy but I think that there is more to fun than just an enjoyable feeling. In 2020, I’m going to be working on identifying for myself what fun is really all about. What are the feelings associated with it? What are the things that I’m doing when I am experiencing those feelings. I’ve heard that I’m not the only one in this position so I’m really going to take some time to get clear and specific about what fun is for me in hopes of cultivating more of it in my life.
Every new year brings about its opportunities for growth and challenge. For 2020, I’m working on being clear and specific about what I want out of life in hopes of manifesting a happy, healthy and successful year. No matter what type of year you’ve had, know that 2020 can be the start of something new. Wishing you all the very best in this upcoming year, happy 2020!