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Erin.Grewar Anti-bullying, General

Social, Popular, Empathetic and Strong Leaders – Today’s Bullies?

Back in October, I read an article in the Globe and Mail by Anthony Volk entitled “Why Bullies Do What They Do.” In brief, it was a very succinct yet comprehensive synopsis of the causes and (proposed) solutions to bullying. At the time, something about it stuck with me and I came back to it when in need of something to blog about during the crazy month of December. Interestingly, there were distinct echoes of Carmen’s grade 6 Bullying Task Force around the ideas of choosing behaviours and belief systems. In identifying the main reasons for bullying, Volk reduces them to just three.
– to get resources (ex. lunch money)
– to get dating partners
– to get social power to be used in getting resources, dates or favours

 

As indicated by voluminous research, Volk describes the typical bully as someone who has “average or greater social skills, popularity, leadership, cognitive empathy and physical or mental health.” Upon reflecting about this statement, I vacillated between two contradictory trains of thought. On one hand, I found myself thinking that these were pretty basic goals for someone with a wide range of attributes and that given that, they would have been able to achieve social power through less basic means. On the other, I would have assumed (or rather hoped) that above average social skills and cognitive empathy would have prevented bullying in the first place.

 

Perhaps what struck me most about the article and the most recent publicised cases of bullying was something I took for granted but hadn’t really consciously considered. It would seem that the classic profiles of bully and victim are blurred and that the anonymity of social media has emboldened and perhaps intensified cases of bullying. The root of it would seem to be the need to exercise power (even in the most basic ways) over someone else. Some people would argue that such a need is innate and an undeniable part of human nature and as such, bullying is much more difficult to tackle in a lasting, meaningful way.

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Erin.Grewar Anti-bullying, Building Inclusion, Classroom Management, General

A Response to “Talking and Listening Chairs” – Les tête-à-tête sont une nécessité

Having read Sangeeta’s blog about how ongoing conflicts can sometimes hijack your teaching agenda, I was struck with her concept of the “Talking and Listening Chairs”. From my own experience, I know that students seem to run into MANY misunderstandings and oftentimes lack both the forum and the verbal skills necessary to successfully solve their conflicts. Quite frankly, I think her idea is brilliant and the guidelines surrounding their use are thoughtfully considered. She has clearly established boundaries and parameters that would ensure success. With obviously less disruptions for the teacher, the real beneficiaries are the students themselves. Actually having a chance to air their grievances can help diffuse and prevent an emotional conflict from escalating into something more serious and simultaneously allows students to take ownership for solving their own problems. Finally, the end result would be to forge a stronger, deeper rapport between the children and a positive classroom atmosphere. Wow, all that from two chairs! Personally, I’m going to have to think a little more how I could implement this idea as a rotary teacher with older students and a cart (no permanent classroom)…

A sign that say No Bully Zone
Carmen.Oliveira Anti-bullying, Learning About Your Students, Learning in a Real Life Context, Social Justice

My Grade Six Bullying Task Force

In light of the focus on bullying that has come as a result of Amanda Todd’s heart breaking story depicting the path that led her to put an end to the pain and feeling of helplessness she endured for so many years, our class devoted much time and discussion to this urgent topic.  I, like every educator or parent reading this, find myself faced with the issue of bullying on a regular basis which can feel extremely frustrating.  However, this time around, I decided to take the topic further.

As we read picture books, learned about real life stories, analyzed the roles of the bully, victim, and bystander, and thought about what creates the mentality of a bully and the victims, we came to the realization that the knowledge and understanding we need to effectively deal with this issue lies within us.  We looked at ourselves, our care givers, the media, and our lifestyle to find the answers.

Earlier in the week, the government announced that a task force would be created to study this on-going issue on a deeper level in order to come up with strategies and recommendations to support the need for action.  I would like to save the government hundreds of thousands of dollars by sharing what my Grade Six Bullying Task Force created within the span of five days.  Keeping in mind that I am referring to a group of 30 ten and eleven year-olds, the experience was quite simply enlightening.

In a nutshell (and using “big words”), the main ideas discussed included the following:

  • we have all experienced the roles of being the bully, the victim, and the bystander.  Maybe one role has been more dominant so far, but if we take a careful look, we’ve taken on each of these roles at some point in our lives.
  • our upbringing and experiences with our care givers have a significant impact on the roles we choose to take on. No one is born a bully or victim.  Both come to be as a result of the words, emotions, and actions we are exposed to as we begin to make sense of the world.
  • we have a choice about the roles we take on in life.  The power lies within us to choose whether we will be a bully, a victim, a bystander, or none of the above.  Kids need to learn how their thoughts create their reality.
  • education through self-awereness is the most powerful way to unravel our ideas, beliefs, and feelings with respect to how we treat others and would like to be treated.  This will not work if educators and care givers continue to give a “time-out” to those who bully and pat on the back with sympathy to those who are victims.
  • we need to educate the ones who bully (including their care givers!) through self-awareness, empower the ones who are victims by working on their inner belief system, and hold accountable those who decide not to make a positive decision to change by taking legal action that has an impact on their future.
Bullying will not go away by spending millions of dollars on research and resources.  There has to be a fundamental shift in the way we educate and empower people to understand that our ideas and actions originate from a belief system which must be changed at the core if we’re to move forward into a positive way of being.  If a class of ten and eleven year-old get this, then we owe it to them to make it happen.