Challenging Topics

February 28, 2021March 10, 2021 Shawna Rothgeb-Bird Building Inclusion, Challenging Topics, Equity, Gender, LGBTQ2S

On Being a Queer Student in Ontario Schools

Recently, there was a PD day in my board where the morning was dedicated to equity training. We started with a discussion about a book that has been provided for every school in the OCDSB titled George.

If you’re unfamiliar with the book, here is a brief synopsis from Scholastic Canada:

A bright, bold debut about a girl who was born a boy, but refuses to let that stand in the way of her dream.

More than anything else, George wants to play Charlotte in her fourth-grade class’s production of Charlotte’s Web. The problem is, her teacher won’t let her, because George is a boy. But George isn’t about to let that squash her dream. With the help of her best friend, George must learn to stand up for her wish — and brave a few bullies along the way.

Transcending all categories and genres, George is a pertinent and poignant middle-grade read for kids of all backgrounds.

As soon as this discussion was presented to us, I felt my heart rate increase. I debated turning my camera off (we were doing this PD remotely) so that my colleagues couldn’t see my reactions. We were given a few minutes to explore some questions about how we would approach this text in the classroom and share our thoughts on a collaborative whiteboard.

Reader, I didn’t make it past the first question: “What biases do we have that we may bring to the text?”

I didn’t make it past this question because I kept seeing the word FEAR come up on the screen in front of me. I started to sweat. My leg started shaking restlessly. I found it hard to sit still. I grit my teeth and started adding my thoughts next to theirs:

Why do we have to “warn” families that we are going to use this resource?

This implies that there is something controversial about being queer.

As educators, we have to make students feel seen and validated.

I’m not going to go through a detailed account of how that “training” went for me. I still haven’t fully recovered. It was an incredibly difficult day to get through and I left feeling overwhelmed by how much work there is to do in education to do better for our students. I’m going to talk about that “FEAR” idea later, after I put some of this in the context of Who I Am.

What I am going to do here is challenge the idea that discussions about 2SLGBTQ+ people, perspectives, and experiences are a challenging or uncomfortable topic in the classroom. This is going to be a two-parter, so bear with me. Maybe even a three-parter. Who knows when I’ll get to the exact point I’m trying to make.

In this first part, I’m going to talk about my experience as a student in this province.

In my Twitter bio, I describe myself as “Queer AF.” My profile picture has the pan flag as a background. I grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s in a small town close to Ottawa and went to Catholic school from JK to OAC (grade 13, that magical year that no longer exists).

I know many people can point to the exact moment when they realized they’re queer, but I can’t. In many ways, it feels like I’ve just… always known. Because I’ve always been queer. What I needed, as a child, was the opportunity to see myself reflected in lessons, stories, media, discussions in the classroom.

That is not what I got.

There is something wrong with me.

I can’t tell you how many times that thought ran through my head as a child. As a teenager. As a student. I remember watching movies and shows, reading books, seeing families in the news, and trying to imagine myself as an adult. Sometimes, I could see myself in these families. Sometimes, I could see myself fulfilling the role that society was very clearly expecting me to take on.

Sometimes, though, I couldn’t. There would be moments where I’d imagine myself as a Wife to a Husband and it just felt… wrong. Like it didn’t fit.

I got older. People started developing crushes. We’d talk, as friends, about who we “liked.”

I never liked anyone. I never had crushes. That’s what I told myself, anyway, because everything we were taught was that girls would have crushes on boys, boys would have crushes on girls, and that was that. That’s how “biology” worked.

It wasn’t until later that I realized that oh, I had crushes, they just… were all on girls.

I sat in class thinking about this often. Why was I broken? What was wrong with me? I would try to pick out boys that maybe, one day, I could convince myself I liked. Sometimes it worked, fleetingly, but most of the time, I felt indifferent.

I moved on to high school. I wrote a love letter (yes, it was immediately shared around the school, and yes, it was mortifying) to a boy. I was deeply set in my feeling that everyone can tell that I am very broken inside and I needed someone to think that no, I’m normal, see? I have crushes on boys! I’m just a regular girl! Just like everyone else!

I think I had everyone else mostly convinced that I was straight, but I had trouble making and keeping friends all the same because the depth of that feeling of otherness was overwhelming. I struggled with mental health, self-harm, depression.

I even tried to be a Good Catholic Girl in grade 11. I became very interested in liturgies. I tried very hard to make prayer work for me. When it came time for Reconciliation, I thought, This is it. This is where I can fix everything.

I confessed to having feelings for other girls. But also, sometimes boys! I’m– I’m redeemable, right? This is my big chance! I’ll tell the truth, I’ll pray, I’ll do my penance, and then I’ll be “better.”

And at school, in a school-sanctioned (and required) event, with school staff, I was told that I would go to hell. It confirmed my fears that I was broken. Fundamentally wrong. A sinner. Don’t you want to have children? Don’t you want to go to Heaven? Don’t you want God’s love?

These questions, thrown at me like accusations by the school chaplain, are burned in my mind. The memories are like scars. I actually wrote them down. I kept the journal where I wrote that down for years, for some… awful, self-loathing reason. I don’t know why.

I was shaken by that. My mental health declined even further. I became convinced that my mental health was just another example of how irrevocably screwed up I was as a person. I mean, everyone else around me was “normal.” People were dating. In movies and shows, everyone was straight. If a character came out in the media, it was shocking. Because it wasn’t “normal.”

I withdrew into the online world even more than I had before. I threw myself into the online roleplaying community, playing make-believe as all manner of characters from different genres. I wrote stories – so, so many stories. I read fanfiction. I learned what “slash” and “shipping” meant.

Most importantly, online, I found the queer community. It was sneaky, at first – just little glimpses of other people who were like me, hidden in their writing and the characters they played. I started to wonder if I wasn’t so alone. In time, this world of beautiful, bright, loving, ABSOLUTELY NORMAL PEOPLE helped me see that it wasn’t me that was wrong, it was the world I was expected to live in that was.

And reader, that made me so angry. I had wasted so much time hating myself, trying to fix myself, trying to be someone I wasn’t. I had hurt myself, and in the process, I had hurt my family, too. I had pulled away from them because I didn’t want to cause them pain by being their broken kid.

Furious at my own ignorance to my identity, emboldened by my online friends, determined that none of this should be this way, I came out as bisexual at school in grade 12.

The reaction was swift, decimating, and brutal. People teased. People joked. In that same journal from before, I kept track of the things people said to me: I was doing this for attention. I was saying this because I was too ugly or weird to get a boyfriend. Besides, I couldn’t be bi if I’d never even kissed a girl to know if I really wanted to. What a weirdo. What a freak. Obviously I’m screwed up, since I also have all those scars on my arms. Hey, is that why I was trying to die? Because I knew how screwed up I was?

I hid. I got quiet. I did not talk about being bi after a few weeks of that misery. By OAC, I think most people had forgotten about my moment of “attention-seeking” and moved on to some other target. It wasn’t until I had moved away and started university that I let myself explore my identity and figure out some small piece of who I am.

So. You’ve read all of that, and you’re wondering what any of this has to do with education, maybe? Maybe you think that none of the responsibility for this fell on the school, because after all, it wasn’t my teachers saying that I was a freak. It wasn’t my teachers saying that I was broken or looking for attention.

The thing is, they also didn’t normalize 2SLGBTQ+ identities. They didn’t talk about them at all. And because they never brought them into the class, not only did I sit there feeling like I was fundamentally broken because I couldn’t relate to what I was seeing – my peers internalized the idea that cis-het is the norm and everything else outside of that is deviant.

In short, school created, presented, and perpetuated a perception that being cis-het is the default. If any other perspectives ever came up, they were immediately juxtaposed with the Straight Experience. If students tries to explore queer topics in their work, they were summarily shut down, implying that there was something about it that was wrong or inappropriate for school.

School let me down.

There was a chance for school to be the place where my peers were shown a wide range of experiences, perspectives, and identities to broaden their worldview.

Instead, they perpetuated one experience and held it up as the one you’re supposed to have.

And we’re still doing it, but that’s what Part 2 of this is going to be about.

If you read all of that, thanks. There’s a lot in here that I’ve never said out loud – not to my partner, not to my family, not to my friends.

But it was time.

See you in Part 2.

February 25, 2021 Arianna Lambert Challenging Topics, Constant Learning, self reflection

Finding Your People

As an educator in the world of school where “kindness” is taught, I’ve often found it challenging to appear as my authentic self and still be met with kindness. In my experience, as you enter a new space, you are often greeted in one of 3 ways: with “kindness”; with indifference; or with apprehension. Now, how your relationship proceeds can move between these 3 ways. Funny enough, there is an immediate and often permanent shift as soon as you speak up on issues that matter; the level of “kindness” that you are met with drops significantly. You see, people are often willing to be “kind” until they are made to feel uncomfortable. This makes me wonder about those of us, who on a daily basis are made to feel uncomfortable just by walking into our places of employment. But I digress…

In this blog, I’m talking about “finding your people”. I don’t mean people who are exactly like you but rather people who have a set of characteristics that I have found to be the salve in my world of education. The people that I am thinking about as I write have a range of experiences and who differ from me in age, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, and religious beliefs. It’s in this difference that I am able to learn, be challenged, and grow.

Critical Thinking

Many of us are familiar with the term, critical thinking. We’ve heard it in reference to competency-based education within our boards. Simply put, critical thinking is the objective analysis of facts to form judgement, often leading to action. When I think of students who are great critical thinkers, I know that they can:

Question and analyze
Use information to solve real-world problems
Consider multiple solutions from a variety of perspectives
Apply knowledge across disciplines

This begs the question, shouldn’t the same be required of the educators within the learning spaces as they are “teaching” students? When educators question and consider a variety of perspectives, it’s refreshing and leads to greater outcomes for students. It baffles me how we expect students to question and think critically and yet as an educator, if you question, you are perceived as being a “trouble maker” or as having “a problem with everything”. Better yet, if you are a Black woman, well…you are angry. At what point will it be expected that we reflect on practices that we have always done, simply because “they have always been done”? At what point will we start to ask questions about who these practices are serving? Who is being further marginalized? To whom are these practices causing harm and trauma? Why does our “fun” or “sense of enjoyment” trump the real harm to students and their families? Those who sit down and think critically about the why behind lessons or school practices and challenge the status quo in order to make schools more equitable, are my people.

Empathy

For me, empathy has always been about a deep understanding of the experiences of another. In education, I have often seen it mixed in with the idea of saviourism. Rather than taking the time to investigate the why and subsequent actions that need to be taken to dismantle unjust systems, there is the idea of “saving” one or a few in order to feel better about oneself. This isn’t empathy. Neither is feeling sorry for someone. Deep empathy causes one to act in order to bring about tangible change. It goes beyond “putting yourself in someone else’s shoes” and causes you to reflect and do the work. As educators, what are you hearing from your colleagues? From your students and school community? How are you understanding their experiences and thus taking action to disrupt systems of injustice? You may not feel impacted by an unjust practice within your school but understanding how it causes harm to others and speaking up so that practice is changed is really what empathy is about. Over the last few months, there have been students and educators messaging and reaching out about challenging “Crazy Hair Day” in their schools. Not simply because they don’t like it but because they are understanding the harm and are choosing to act.

Action

In 1930 Langston Hughes wrote:

I’m so tired of waiting

Aren’t you,

For the world to become good

And beautiful and kind?

Let us take a knife

And cut the world in two—

And see what worms are eating

At the rind.

I know that many of us are tired. Tired of seeing injustices happening day in and day out in our schools. Tired of being discriminated against. Tired of always being the one to speak up. Tired of waiting for action. While many love to quote the first part of his poem, the second part – I would say – is the most critical. It’s Langston’s call to action. To take a knife, cut to the heart of the problem to see what is there and to address it. Far too often we see performative actions that do nothing but cause further harm because, well… it’s insulting. Until people are ready to actually address and deal with what is at the core of what is happening in education, it’s inaction. Those who are speaking up, naming the discrimination for what it actually is, and taking action to disrupt, are my people. This poem was written almost 100 years ago, what actions are we taking today as educators?

Navigating the complexities of relationships in Education is hard. For me, people who exhibit these traits are those among whom I want to be. They are my people. Consider your relationships within education. Who are those you value the most and why do you value them? Last week I was speaking with a couple of LTOs at our school and mentioned how refreshing it is when you find your people. Not that they agree with everything you say or do but they think critically; see you through deep empathy; and act. Have you found your people? Who are they? What makes them “your people”?

January 31, 2021March 31, 2021 Will Gourley Advocacy for change, Anti-Racism, Black Lives Matter, Building Inclusion, Challenging Topics, Equity, General, Inclusion, Social Justice

On becoming an anti-racist educator

Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced. James Baldwin

2020 was like a personal worldview culminating activity that happened in slow motion. It was a merger of events and interactions that finally allowed me the ability to see race and racism more clearly than ever before. 2020 also showed me that there were many more threads woven into this tapestry and that I needed to look at them one by one in 2021.

Although this post is not intended to be a look back, it definitely includes some reflection and understanding that are decades overdue.

Before ever becoming an ally, activist, and anti-racist there is something I have to do first. Confront my past and present racism. Whether it was implicit or explicit, recognizing the fact that racism is part of my past and present is the first step. In my past it came in the form of exclusion, cruel words, omission, inaction, fear, ignorance, and/or silence. In the present, my acknowledgement of racism in my life comes from waiting for so long to change what I do in the classroom before developing a culturally relevant and responsive pedagogy that was truly inclusive of the students I was entrusted to teach. It comes from sticking to a Eurocentric approach to history and by failing to include the voices of others who have been silenced by a whitewashed curriculum.

I am sorry for all of it. Even though I was never called out or made to account for my actions I need to own them even though they cost me anything other that regret. This has taken decades to sink in because, ultimately, there was a cost, although so much of it went unnoticed.

Neither the bill, nor the collection agency arrived at my door demanding payback. Only after the realization that my racism accountability statement was seriously overdrawn was I moved to action. The clearest recollections come from middle school, where I remember not standing up for someone who was at the end of racist epithets and exclusion, and laughing while someone shared a racist joke. I see now a complete lack of caring, courage, and conviction to confront what I was willing to let continue by my complacency. I have to own this as part of my past because someone else always paid the price. What worries me more are the times that went by when I was oblivious yet still complicit to how racism was affecting those around me. There was a cost.

Even though it came to me without cost I was still given insight and the tools to effect necessary change each time I dived deeper into how to be an anti-racist beyond the hashtag. It started with some powerful reads such as the work of Ibraham X Kendi, Colson Whitehead, and Eddie S Glaude Jr.. Sharing Kendi’s Stamped from the Beginning with a men’s book club and subsequent conversations last summer have helped me more clearly understand the history of slavery, anti-black racism, and the problems they continue to cause in a time where all men and women are created equal. It wasn’t the readings alone that have brought me to this place though.

There were the #QuarantineEd Zoom calls with Matthew Morris, Jay Williams and educators from across the continent. These weekly discussions of race, identity and Black Lives Matter happened before, during and after the murder of George Floyd and the global outrage that followed. Through all of this, it seemed more beneficial to listen than speak. This extended to one on one conversations with friends and colleagues too. I am thankful for the grace with which wisdom, truth, and insights of anti-racist activists, teachers, and seekers of justice were shared. Learning more about the words white privilege, systemic racism, and black lives matter are now anchored in deeper understanding of the hurt and pain that has been caused by racism.

I can never go back in time to repay what I owe for my past actions, but I can pay up, and pay it forward – a necessary change for which I hope we will each make a contribution. For me, atonement for past mistakes will be to acknowledge the racism in my life, and to continue listening and learning what needs to be undone and done differently to overcome it. Only then can I move forward to making sure it is eliminated from the spaces I occupy as an anti-racist educator. I want to be part of the generation that ends centuries of racial injustice in our communities and schools.

The words of the next generation sum it up quite nicely, “Racism sucks! Why would anyone want to be racist?” – grade 4 student.

Big thanks to Nicolette Bryan at Adrienne Clarkson PS, @callmemrmorris, @mstrjaywill, @MrTBradford, #QuarantineEd, @chrisjcluff, and #bc4men for the discussion, wisdom, and constant inspiration. Thanks for reading.

January 29, 2021February 1, 2021 Will Gourley Challenging Topics, COVID19, Distance learning, Emergency Distance Learning, Engaging students with online learning, General, Mental Health, Modern Learning, Remote Learning, Resilience, self reflection, social emotional learning, Social Media, Teacher Wellness, Teacher Working Conditions, Teaching online, Use of Technology

Per / Con / In / Re – form

Perform
I am wrestling with my thoughts again. In other words, I am restless again. When this happens many questions appear soon thereafter. Is there anyone out there that feels restless too?

I can’t be the only one in questioning a lot of things right now because most days I feel like a busker at a street festival trying to juggle a bowling ball(technology), a chainsaw(lessons), and a fishtank(learners). Nothing to see here other than a fairly confident educator having a tough time with something that he’s done before – delivering lessons.

So why am I struggling to deliver my lessons? It seems like a good place to start. Right now, I am questioning everything about my professional practice, and it feels like running along a path and tripping over an imaginary object. My week long tumbles are not so much about the content I am teaching, but rather how it is being taught, how it is being received, and how it can be assessed. It is leaving me limping into the weekend? Tell me I am not alone right now.

Conform
And then it hits. How long until the realization that some of my students are not completely engaging with learning right now even though their eyes and emotionless emoticons tell me otherwise? After extended times staring at screens and thumbnail sized student/profile memes I can tell my students are becoming exhausted too despite the brave faces that I see popping up on occasion when called upon. Is this happening to anyone else teaching right now? Are your students tired too? I am.

Why am I so tired right now? Shouldn’t getting an extra hour of sleep each night, drinking 2+ litres of water per day, reduced caffeine, reduced personal device time, reading more books, and getting more exercise than in years past be helping me out here? I have even added Tai Chi, Yoga, and Hip Hop Dance to our DPA to increase movement during class time. To top it all off, I take daily walks whether I feel like it or not.

Inform
You see, I force myself to take a walk after each of my hyper-telepresent virtual teaching sessions. Once the goodbyes are done, it is pretty much all I can do to get out of my chair, climb the stairs, and get geared up to go out most days. Especially, when I have to pass by a very comfortable couch whose cushions scream, “Remember us?” It is very tempting, but something even better calls, my daily walks.

Regardless of the weather, these walks are my motivational carrots to keep taking the steps that get me through the many muddy moments along each day’s unpaved path. Knowing that no matter how the day goes, a walk awaits has been all it takes to see me through. Whether a lesson went well or died on the screen in front of me ceases to matter when I inhale that first breath of fresh outdoor air. The exhale feels pretty good too.

You watch enough TV, and very soon the inside of your head has become a vast, arid plain, across which you cannot detect the passage of a thought. Harlan Ellison

So far this year, I have only missed one day of walking. In hindsight it was probably the day that I needed a it most. Instead, I ended up planted on that inviting couch with a bowl of Smartfood staring at our television. Tuned out. Achy. Sullen. Grumpy. Numb. These feelings got me thinking about screens.

Reform
Sci-fi author Harlan Ellison referred to TV as the “glass teat”. He even wrote a couple of books about it. I see parallels to how education is being delivered right now. We need to wean our students off of their screens more and more in order to preserve their minds from numbing and tuning out.

Somewhere along my way outside a struggle ensued about the work I am doing in front of my screen. Is it serving to numb our students over extended periods of time? Will these extended periods of online learning cause irreparable tears in our socio-academic fabric? I am not ready to believe that this is the beginning of the end for in person school and that we are heading for our isolation pods as told in E.M Forster’s The Machine Stops?

We cannot continue feeding content from one glass plate after another and expecting students to grow up smart and healthy. A dear friend suggested that cutting the learning day back to 4 days might be a good idea. Allowing the 5th day for asynchronous activities such as self-directed inquiry and catching up on assignments during the day rather than in the evenings when fatigue sets in. Teachers could easily use that time for office hours, for one on one/small group support, and conferencing. Everyone wins.

Yet to form
This is much more than having the tools to master a domain that has yet to be tamed? Virtual learning means we are virtually learning how to do this while we teach? I can tell you there are few system leaders or consultants that have as much experience as any teachers in this medium, and it has largely been gained through self-teaching and experimentation with their classes.

I worry that too much emphasis has been placed on performance and conformity without serious consideration to being fully informed of the true social, emotional, and physical costs of virtual learning. Teachers, students, and families are feeling the stress from this and without an alternative I fear that there will be problems far greater than being behind on assignments or failing a test.

There is a definite need to refine and reform how we are being asked to serve and support our students. I’d love to take a walk around the neighbourhood with those making decisions on our behalf, share some ideas, listen to one another, breath in some fresh air, and take the steps that would best support students and staff -from a safe distance of course. Maybe if we took away their screens everyone might be able to see eye to eye here about helping to change things for the better, our students.

In the meantime, I think another walk is in order.

January 29, 2021 Kelly.McLaughlin Challenging Topics, Distance learning, Mental Health, Teaching online, Wellbeing

Bell Let’s Talk Day

Yesterday was Bell Let’s Talk Day which, as we know, is a great chance to engage in mental health conversations in our classroom. In my grade seven classroom, we opened up by discussing what the quote “It’s okay to not be okay” meant to everyone. Students were excited to open up and share about ideas of what they could do when they feel sad, bored, lonely, etc. Here are some coping strategies they shared with their classmates:

put on headphones and listen to music
relax in their room
write in a journal
talk to friends
play video games
spend time with a pet
take a break

It was great to hear so many students sharing ways they cope with a bad situation or a sad day. Some grade sevens expressed that they had never felt sad or alone which is great, but I still mentioned that these strategies will be useful if you ever happen to feel that way in the future.

During our morning discussion about Bell Let’s Talk Day, why it exists and how people donate, some students shared that they felt mental health had been swept under the rug at their homeschools. They had never discussed the importance of talking about their mental well being or felt there wasn’t room for these conversations in the past. One student even went as far to say that this is the most comfortable he has ever felt in a classroom. A classroom that is 100% virtual, taking away all challenges that a physical classroom may present. I was very relieved to hear this as being virtual since September, I often struggle with the thought that none of these students will ever feel a connection to myself or their classmates. That comment made me think otherwise. I truly think that for the first time, some of these students can be their true, authentic self.

Throughout the day, we watched the Michael Buble video that donates 5 cents to mental health initiatives, we discussed how being physically active can help with mental health issues and we also talked about how there is always someone to talk to if you are feeling sad. One of my students even shared some important phone numbers in our chat that could help if someone was feeling overwhelmed.

One of my colleagues went as far as to call Kids Help Phone with her class and her students were able to ask them some important questions. They had great discussions about how old you have to be to call, what you could do if you were feeling sad and even what to do if you call and do not know. I thought that was a great idea and I look forward to calling them next year.

Mental health is so important to discuss in our classrooms, especially in remote setting as well as in light of the events of the past year. We need to know our students are okay and we need to let them know it’s okay if they aren’t. I don’t like that I know more about what my students know in math, science, etc. than about their mental well being. For that reason, last week I did a survey where I asked students to use one word to describe their feelings when coming to remote school each day. This was an anonymous survey so I feel that my students answered this as honestly as they could. Here were the results:
13/33- happy, excited or fabulous
4/33- tired
1/33- bored
2/33- confused
5/33- 0kay
8/33- did not respond to this question

We discussed these results as a class and students shared ideas of how to help the students who felt confused, bored, tired, etc. We talked about how it was great that so many people are happy but we should look to how to connect to the other students who are feeling something else. One of my students brought that up on her own and we had a great discussion about how we can create the best environment possible.

I want to continue doing morning check-ins to ask about their evening and how they are feeling. I will continue to create surveys where they can submit private concerns to me so that I can help them feel okay each day. I will make sure to put a higher emphasis on feeling confident, happy and comfortable next term. I have a great group of students who are excited each day to express their concerns and share their feelings. I encourage everyone who is nervous to ask these challenging questions or talk about the harder to approach topics to do so with their class. You will see how grateful your students are after these real-life discussions.

Hope everyone has someone to talk to during these challenging times.

January 15, 2021 Kelly.McLaughlin 21st Century Learning, Black Lives Matter, Challenging Topics, COVID19, Distance learning, Mental Health, Remote Learning, self reflection, Social Justice, Students as Teachers, Teaching online, Wellbeing

At a loss for words

Did anyone else have a very hard time before class Thursday, January 7th?

Thinking about how to start discussing the terrorist attacks in the United States on Wednesday, January 6th? I spent the entire evening feeling sick about the whole situation. Then, an entirely new wave of anxiety came over me knowing that I would need to address it with my grade seven students.

At first I reached out to fellow intermediate educators, asking them how they were going to start this challenging discussion. They mentioned breakout groups, article readings and then discussions. Then I spoke to some friends about it who helped me come up with careful and sensitive things to say. In this profession, it is hard to speak about these topics (without being political) and to do so in a calm and professional manner. This attack was something that was devastating towards many people, especially BLM activists who were attacked with tear gas, etc. when they peacefully protesting in 2020.

The morning of January 7th arrived and class had begun. I always start the day with morning music and I found it appropriate to play the song “Where is the Love?” by the Black Eyed Peas. I found some of my students did not know what had happened the night before. A student in my class asked to speak on the mic and inform them about the terrorist attacks on the US Capitol. That student spoke very well and did a good job informing anyone who did not see the news, instagram, twitter or other social media platforms. I spoke about it for a while and explained the importance of positive role models/leaders in societies. Followers will always act on behalf of their leaders and this led to a discussion about positive leaders and how they have positively inspired change (Greta Thunberg, David Suzuki, etc.) Our conversation lasted about thirty minutes and was mostly student-led. Many grade sevens came on the mic to share their thoughts and they all did so in a respectful and calm way. Many students expressed their sadness for families that had children going through many things in the past year: forest fires, a pandemic, the death of Georg Floyd, the violent police response to BLM protestors, remote learning, election issues and then, this. We talked about how we are merely watching from Canada but imagine being in that city during this event, worrying about what may happen to you and your family. My favourite part of the discussion was when one of my students expressed her gratitude for talking about the situation rather than pretending it never happened and going about our day. This made me feel that the discussion had gone well and reaffirmed my thoughts about why current events cannot be swept under the rug (especially with intermediate students). We eventually went on with our day after first checking with all students, making sure that they were okay to move on from the challenging topic.

This week, we received an Emergency Alert on Thursday that informed us we are in a State of Emergency and a stay-at-home order is now in effect. This came during class time and many of my students own phones. We discussed what this means and I made sure to answer any questions students may have had. I discussed how the return to school date had been pushed back (that does not matter to us as we are always a remote class), plus the outdoor gathering size had changed to five and also, just to try their best to only leave home for important reasons. We had a great conversation about how the word “exercise” was now added as a reason to leave home. We continued a discussion about how mental health relates to exercise. This had tied in nicely to our healthy living presentations which had been going on during the week. We talked about how important it was that the government acknowledged that leaving your home for a walk or a run was an important thing to do.

After all the discussions were said and done, we did get back to our usual topics but as we know, the mental health of our students is the most important topic and we should always do our best to check in. This is especially important as we continue to learn online, with little to no face- to-face interactions with our students.

I am hoping everyone had a great start to 2021 so far and all that challenging conversations went as smoothly as they could go. I know I was extremely anxious about the conversations but I shouldn’t have been because my students prove to me time and time again their maturity and positive attitude towards their learning and overall outlook on our world.

November 30, 2020December 9, 2020 Will Gourley Assessment and Evaluation, Challenging Topics, Constant Learning, Differentiated Instruction, General, Modern Learning, Resources

Brutalist worksheets

Have you ever seen something that made you wonder whether it’s sole purpose was to make you feel small or insignificant? I don’t mean this in feelgood sort of humbling way like you might ponder a mountain’s majesty or an ocean’s depth. I mean, the way you feel uneasy when looking at a decades old worksheet from a resource 20 to 25 years past its pedogogical prime – where thought and creativity were never part of its iterations. I’m talking about copy after copy of soul sucking work pages given to students only to be regurgitated upon with rote facts and little, if any, critical thought. Let’s call them Brutalist worksheets because, like the architecture, they make the learner to feel small, and powerless, and the learning devoid of inspiration.

Over the years, I have found a number of Brutalist offerings left behind in the photo-copiers, and they make me shudder a bit to think that they were destined for students’ desks and to inevitable irrelevance shortly thereafter. I’d like to say this is a long distant memory, but it is still happening in 2020.

20 years into 21st Century learning and brutalist worksheets are still being shared. But first a bit about Brutalism.

Minds On

In the creative world of architecture there are several styles that have pervaded through history. We have remnants of the Victorian, Mid-Century Modern, Art Deco, and Modernist eras that occupy much of the past century and its edifices. There is another that cannot be overlooked because of it’s austere, raw, and imposing nature, Brutalism.

Brutalism, but this is a blog for teachers? Why are we having an architecture lesson? Why not? After all, design is design and the way that we construct, craft, curate, and create content for our students matters. It is inconceivable to think it can be done without consideration of the learners we are teaching or without differentiation.

Imagine a stark and unwelcoming piece of paper that seems as if it’s sole intention is to crush your spirit. Next, think of a page full of Math calculation questions that you have been handed, and are now expected to complete before the 2 or 3 minute timer goes off. Think of a different, but equally oppressive Math sheet with instructions, but no guiding example or room to show your thinking? Think of a double-sided sheet of French -er, ir, and -re verbs to conjugate. Brutal and absolutely intended as rote busy work to keep students from being their best.

I was visting a school a few years back and came across a teacher with a stack of photocopies at least 1500 pages or more in total. I asked if this was for a whole school letter to which they replied that it was for their classroom followed by, “You have to keep ’em busy somehow.” I walked away very sad at that moment and have tried to hang on to that interaction as a reminder of what not to do.

Brutalism in our profession has no business in any of our classroom resources. In fact, we need to seriously consider the function and purpose of everything we are printing for students. It starts by cleaning out the cabinets and binders that contain outdated worksheets. I know it means having to start fresh for some, but imagine the potential for deeper learning rather than a time filler destined for the recycle bin? Perhaps doing this over the course of the year will make it less daunting. With so many digital tools at our fingertips now, creating and updating content is easier than those Xerox days of yore.

Our shift to digital learning has allowed many of us to curate constructive content with links that are informative and interactive. There are also environmental and financial benefits from avoiding copy after copy too. With a suite of apps and productivity tools. Teachers can create these spaces from a trove of templates and fellow educators who are willing to share. No need for TPT here.*

Start with the incredible digital resources being shared from your school board and from a cohort of amazing educators via Twitter. I know that PeelDSB, TDSB, DurhamDSB, and YRDSB have provided many excellent resources to their staff, and am sure there are more boards out there doing the same for theirs. If you want to start your own, you can always check out Ditch that Textbook, Mathigon, Shukes and Giff, TV Ontario, and TED Ed for ideas. If you have a favourite, please share in the comments below.

All that I ask is that you resist the urge to hit the copy button without considering the content you intend to share with students. Will it make them feel insignificant and under-inspired? Then you might have a brutalist worksheet in your hands and it might be time to go back to the drawing board to design something inviting and engaging to students as modern learners.

* I always think of toilet paper when I see TPT. Sorry, not sorry.

November 30, 2020November 30, 2020 Will Gourley agency, Challenging Topics, Equity, General, Making a Difference Through Education, Social Justice, Student wellbeing, Wellbeing

About those indoor shoes

Winter’s coming and as I share this on the eve of December and our possible first snow day of the 20-21 school year, the timing is intentional.

Recently, I had a moment of clarity while greeting students at the door of my classroom. It started out simply enough as they returned after a snowy midday recess. Amid our usual pleasantries it happened – a simple and often overlooked aspect of privilege kicked me in the thoughts as I welcomed students back inside. Although, there was nothing out of the ordinary on this particular day, all I could think about, in that moment, was indoor shoes.

You know, that 2nd pair of shoes students are expected to bring from home, that stay at school, so they can change in and out of for recess and indoor activities. The ones that every student is told they are supposed to have. The same shoes that can be found classrooms away from their owners’ personal effects after being dribbled down the hallways soccer style by budding Christine Sinclairs and Alphonso Davies’. Those indoor shoes.

Although an extra pair of shoes might be a small issue for many of us, I wonder whether asking students to have a dedicated pair of shoes to change into for inside school exagerates the socio-economic divisions that are obvious in many of our communities. After nearly 2000 days in the classroom, I am only seeing the ability to bring a second pair of shoes as an indicator of privilege, and that got me thinking about equity.

So, I’ll ask. Do you think that requiring/expecting students to have a 2nd pair of indoor shoes is unfair to those who are unable? Have schools become too demanding to expect this considering that many families are living pay check to paycheck? How are educators working to support their learners without isolating or alienating them by their supportive actions? Don’t even get me started about winter boots.

Clearly, there is a fine line to tread and I am wondering what’s changed, what needs to change in the way we were are doing things, and what else have I/you/we been missing?

What’s changed?

Nothing and it is not going to either as long as our socio-political and economic structures remain the same, we will always have students coming to school from places of unearned disadvantages being asked to act like they do not.

When we know that students are in need, how do we as a school community genuinely support them equitably? Is there a way that we can help while being discrete in our actions? One way might be by intentionally looking the other way while still making a note of things like a single pair of shoes, no boots, or a lack of weather protective garments rather than confronting their lack of them outright. How do we provide help without awkward and uncomfortable moments for a child?

What needs to change?

There will always be students with needs. Even though we might have enough, and it looks like they have enough. It is easy to be fooled into inaction by the belief that their enough is actually enough. When students are sent to school with a lunch to eat at school, it’s not obvious at first look whether it is the only meal they are having each day. It starts at relationships.

Knowing the learner is the key here. Without it, we risk allowing students to fall through the cracks. With recent restrictions to work due to the pandemic, it is becoming clearer that families are living in more precarious circumstances. That fancy car that drops students off at the kiss and ride each morning may about to be repossessed. The top dollar running shoes and brand name everything to wear seems incongruous to the jam sandwich or mac and cheese everyday that those same students are bringing for lunch. I am always hopeful that the child really likes the same lunch everyday, but am also watchful whether it is an indicator that something else is going on outside of school.

What else have I/you/we been missing?

Even though I have used indoor shoes as the soul of this post, they are not the sole indicators of unidentified needs or inequities. At-risk students are everywhere in our hallways. I am trying to pay attention to their actions, words, and body language. I never want to look back on this time and think that our students slipped through the cracks without our support. Conversations with other colleagues also help to fill in the blanks if something doesn’t seem right. It has become second nature to ask a student how their day is going. It is also important to include all of the community resources available to schools too.

If we pay attention to the little signs, we have an excellent chance to close some of the gaps for our students. It might be as simple as connecting families with access to community supports they may not have known about. This may be a simple as ensuring that there is English language assistance for them when it comes to access. For others, it might mean ensuring there is something extra to eat available for any who are experiencing food security issues. For others it might mean an invitation to help out in class during a particularly cold day at recess.

Whatever the circumstances, we can walk alongside students as they learn to fill the shoes that are waiting for them in the future.

Thanks to Tim Bradford and Nicolette Bryan @ACPS for their wisdom and candour while discussing this topic.

A Call for Change

In this post, I write as a Black educator struggling to understand why change is so hard. Over the years, I’ve had many colleagues and administrators who “understand” my position, and yet when it comes to enacting change, the status quo is upheld. If you understand my position and can support me in the private moments when you come to “pick my brain”, why is it so hard to support my position in public? Understanding to me means that you have heard me and are willing to do something about this new knowledge. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not expecting that everyone should change their practice to accommodate my preferences but when real harm is being done in schools and they are voiced, I expect that these voices would not be silenced and dismissed. Here are 2 ways that I think we can do better.

Think Critically to Understand the Why

The old adage, “We’ve always done it this way” is dangerous. Just because something has always been done, doesn’t mean that it needs to continue. Throughout my career, the people I have admired or respected the most have been those who have been reflective on their practice. Years ago, I remember myself and a colleague often popping by our VP’s office to just sit and talk at the end of a day. It became common practice – that probably annoyed our VP at the time – but it was a time to debrief and to think critically about our day and next steps. In speaking aloud and reflecting on lessons or upcoming school events, it became a space where we asked the important question, “why?” In these moments, I learned the value of being intentional in my practice. When there has been no substantial or good answer to the question, I often sit with the origin of the practice and consider how I got started using it. The first way that I think that we can bring about change in our schools for the better is to think critically about why we do what we do. With a clear understanding of “why”, we can choose which practices we continue and which ones we should consider changing or eliminating altogether.

Speak up!

Many may recall my post from months ago on “Crazy Hair Day”. The number of people who messaged publicly and in private was amazing. People taking the time to read, reflect, and reconsider made me think that my moment of vulnerability might possibly bring about some change for the many harmed by this practice that has no place in schools. While I don’t see as many pictures of the days on Social Media, I’m not naive enough to think that they no longer happen. Earlier this month in a meeting, the topic came up again and there were a number of sighs in the room. While sighs are a step up from remaining silent, without a justification for the sigh, there’s no conversation on what evoked the sigh. In that moment, I wished that all the messages around the harm of Crazy Hair Day would have been voiced. I wish that those who mentioned the inequity online and those that mentioned their feelings of uncertainty through messages would have taken the time to speak up, rather than looking to me to say something. One person came to me and asked why I didn’t speak up and I said that I always do and have written on the topic publicly. In that space, every person knew my perspective. As I packed up my bags to leave, I didn’t bother to ask my colleague why they didn’t speak up. The last time I asked them this, they said, “Yes, I should have said something.” My ask is this, please stop relying on that colleague who is seen as the disrupter to always speak up. They’re tired. Use your privilege and voice to do what you so proudly do in private. We need you to talk on these matters when they actually matter. As Maya Angelou said, “Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better.” If you’ve heard or learned that something is problematic, please turn that learning into action by speaking up. If as a collective we speak up, then there is a greater opportunity for change.

I know that we are all on a journey of learning. My call for change today is that this learning includes action. Think critically about practice. Ask the “why”. Speak up; particularly when you have privilege in a space. Your voice is needed to enact tangible change.

November 18, 2020 Melissa Turnbull Challenging Topics, COVID19, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Occasional Teachers, wellness

“Ontario considering extended school closures as winter break approaches”

Gulp.

My heart sank down to my stomach as I read headlines such as this one flood the news and every single social media platform that I am a member of.

I am, by nature, a worrier in general. So this year and all that has come with it has brought immense amounts of stress into my personal and professional life. When schools were locked down in March, I was so positive there would be a quick fix to the problem. Like many people, I figured a two week shut down would obviously solve the issue and we would be back with our students in no time. I often reflect back on how misguided I was in those moments. I wish I would have clung to “normal” life just a little bit harder and appreciated it just a little bit more.

As an Occasional Teacher, my unique situation of travelling from school to school and class to class leaves me extremely vulnerable in the times of COVID-19. I wear my PPE, I wash my hands, I socially distance, but the fear of contracting and/or spreading the virus hovers over my head each day like a dark cloud. Some days it feels like I am trapped in a small room, where the walls are inching closer and closer to me. Therefore the thought of a closure feels safe to me, it feels comfortable, it feels familiar.

On the contrary, it feels like another closure is equivalent to taking ten massive steps back. Educators have made enormous progress and countless sacrifices in order to welcome students back into school, and are simultaneously supporting students academic, social and emotional development amidst the current restrictions. Being with students is what sets educators souls on fire. It is the students that inspire me every day to keep going, keep persisting, and keep learning.

So much unknown. So much fear. What will happen to me? Will I continue to have consistent work? Will students be okay, academically? Socially? Emotionally?…

“Minister Lecce says extended winter break will not be necessary”

New news begins to flood my social media. No extended time away from school, for now anyways. As we move forward, through the cold and flu season while battling a second wave, the fragility of the system we have worked so hard to build back up seems more apparent now than ever. It feels like at any moment, things could come to an unknowing halt. Day by day, month by month we remain unsure, on edge, confused and exhausted in anticipation of what the future will hold.

My grandmother was an elementary school teacher for many years. She now has dementia and does not entirely understand what is happening in the world or comprehend the devastating impacts of the pandemic. Her and I often chat about teaching, as her short term memory is fading but memories of her work as an educator come easily to her mind. I explained to her my panic, my stress and my feelings of hope and despair all at once. She turned to me and said something I will never forget.

“Teachers will never know what their days at school will look like. We could plan forever and the outcome will still be different than expected. But, teachers are good at change, that’s what we do”.

No matter what comes our way,

We’ve. Got. This.