December-January… Although in many cultures the New Year is celebrated at different times, when one calendar year makes way for the next is a time when many of us look back and look ahead.
This is therefore a short reflection of the heart strings that are carefully tied around the gifts we bring to others and those that we receive.
Some Gifts I Have Received
The beautiful embroidered portfolio in the picture above is a recent gift from a dear friend who addresses me as “Rashmee Jaan”. How light my daily concerns feel when I hear those words! The pencil case is a gift from a former colleague who had one made for each member of our team when she left to go to another job. It’s a special and precious gift because I can’t buy such items with my name on them in shops . What made this gift extra special is that this colleague shared that she remembered this reality mentioned by students when she worked at a high school. That was special: When people remember these stories, they see a connection in experiences that help them see the humanity of others in deep and lasting ways.
- An elastic band given by a Grade 4 student when they finished their Empower lesson in a room where I waited quietly for their teacher to finish.
- A thank you message on a heart cut out from Good On One Side Paper in a Grade 5 classroom by a student with whom I sat when she had some math questions to finish.
- A pinch of sand from that first trip to the beach, here.
- A pressed flower from a plant the class grew from seeds.
The Secret Ingredient
Many gifts and moments appear in our busy lives on gossamer threads of vulnerability from the gift giver who wonders “is that too small, too silly, too simple?” It isn’t. It’s perfect. It’s exactly what I need to think of when things feel monumental and much bigger than I can ever solve. I know you think that too when things are left on your desk, pressed into your hand and brought to your classroom door. What appears as “ oh one more mug” to a dismissive heart is an overflowing of friendship, familial respect and care.
We don’t have to always bring material gifts to people that cost an awful lot of money. The economies of the world are so arranged that sometimes the currencies of the places from where these gifts may have come from don’t always “measure up” in monetary value when measured through the gaze of the western world.
How Do I Continue This Practice?
I recently gifted a large perfectly intact sycamore leaf in a plastic frame for a sweet child who like me, likes to collect leaves when he is outside with his mother, who is my friend. On the last Friday of the work week before the winter break this year, I held up my palm filled with a few glass beads and marbles and a smooth rock (I carry them in my jacket pocket). I offered these simple items to a friend who always saves a seat for me at our monthly meetings. Sometimes, we have assigned seating but we always find time to connect. “Take one,” I said. My colleague selected a shiny multicoloured marble and I was glad. She is scheduled to present an important topic to many teams in the organization soon. I want to continue the connection because I want her to know I am thinking of her on those days when she may feel wobbly.
Here is a practice that I have let go. I do not fix a value to the gift, which is a huge life lesson in a world filled with price tags.
When we offer these gifts to people who matter to us, let us not say “it is not much” because it is more. These gifts we bring and the ones we receive are a lot more than monetary value.
Let’s keep our hearts open. That’s how hope gets in.
With you, In Solidarity
Rashmee Karnad-Jani
