Melissa Turnbull Mental Health, Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, Teacher Wellness

June Tired

Is anyone else June tired in March?

 

The loss of March break has clearly impacted everyone involved in education – students included. The rumours of shut downs coming our way and whisperings of the government cancelling the April break are lurking everywhere I go. The thought of either of these things happening is devastating to me personally for many reasons. 

 

Though we continue to battle a pandemic everyday while committing ourselves to our students, their families and the community – we are tired. We are here. We are doing our best. We are rocking it. But.. we are tired. 

In response to this, I want to get a conversation going. 

What things are you doing for yourself right now? 

Of course, there are many things we are doing for our students to keep learning exciting as we all feel in desperate need of a break. But what are you doing for you? How are you practicing self-care?

Please feel free to comment on this post as a space to share what you are doing for YOU. If you have not done anything for yourself, this is your reminder! 

Take care everyone, secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. 

 

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love” – Brenè Brown

Melissa Turnbull Mental Health, Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, Teacher Appreciation, Teacher Wellness, wellness

Staff Relationships: COVID Edition

Everyone wants to feel welcomed, liked and seen at their place of work.

To me, this sense of belonging provides me with the confidence and the resources to have conversations with fellow staff, ask questions when I need help and create new connections.

As an OT, creating meaningful relationships with staff you don’t see daily can be difficult. 

Add in a pandemic with a side of cohorting, social distancing and a dash of remote learning and, like many other things this year, you’ve got yourself a challenge.

This school year, I started Occasional Teaching for a new school board in late September. For me, more connections equals more work and more valuable experience.

Using social media, I have been able to reach out and connect with educators who are seeking Occasional Teachers that are comfortable working in their classrooms. Social media has been a wonderful space to both talk and listen to other people like me. Together, we support each other through the many transitions happening this year, answer each other’s questions and lift each other’s spirits. 

As we approach nearly a year of connecting this way, it feels like the new normal. Will our days soon return where we can attend PD sessions with dozens or hundreds of others? Connecting, talking, listening? 

As our methods of supporting each other constantly evolve, we must continue to place importance on creating and maintaining relationships – no matter how great of a task this may feel. 

As grateful as I am for these online connections, they don’t feel the same. They don’t completely and totally measure up to sharing a coffee with someone or looking them in the eye across the table.

Human connection cannot be replaced.

How have you been creating relationships with fellow staff this year?

Melissa Turnbull Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, Resilience, social emotional learning

“I’m Sorry”

“I’m Sorry” 

A combination of words we are all familiar with.

We’ve said them, we’ve received them, we’ve wished for them, we’ve accepted them and we’ve rejected them. 

Humans make mistakes.

Mistakes are the way we grow and learn.

Consequently, this learning process involves others whom our mistakes can directly impact in negative ways. 

 

Professor, author, and researcher Dr. Brenè Brown hosts a wonderful podcast called Unlocking Us which can be found on Spotify or by clicking here (https://brenebrown.com/podcasts/). In a two part podcast from May 6, 2020 titled  “I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters”, Psychologist Dr. Harriet Lerner discusses the power of apologizing and how to apologize. 

Dr. Lerner goes beyond the limits of “I’m sorry” and dissects the anatomy of a true and meaningful apology. Attached are her “Nine Essential Ingredients of a True Apology”. These nine crucial points are simplified for reference but are explained in great user friendly detail throughout the podcast. 

 

How can we use “True” apologies in the classroom? 

Although this podcast is not specific to education, here are my takeaways through the lens of a teacher:  

Apologize to children

  • Dr. Harriet Lerner pleads that apologizing warrants respect. Teachers are human too and we make mistakes. Displaying vulnerability and owning up to the mistakes we make creates a safe space for students to talk about their mistakes and feel encouraged to take risks in their learning. 
  • Getting frustrated is okay – but  Dr. Lerner says, “don’t frame it as an apology”. Sometimes we can get frustrated (again, not robots here) but apologizing for frustrations is not meaningful if the blame is placed back on the student. Example: “I am sorry I was upset but you kept interrupting me”.
  • If we can’t apologize to our students, how can we expect them to understand or feel motivated to apologize to us

Model effective apologies for children

    • Improper apologies can weaken connections and therefore damage relationships 
    • We can keep in mind that apologies are not an end to a conversation but allow for the foundation of further conversations to be had. Dr. Lerner advises that the apologizer does not tack “but” or “I’m sorry you feel that way” to the end of an apology as it “cancels” out the meaning. Add ons do not attempt to comfort the hurt party but rather attempt to justify the hurtful behaviour. 
    • Other unnecessary add ons include: “stand up straight”, “look me in the eye”, “say it like you mean it”, “you should think about it more”. Dr. Lerner says those types of conversations can be had later, but to focus on what is really important between the two people – their relationship and the connection they want to maintain
    • We can teach our students that apologies do not solve everything. One is not required to respond with “That’s okay” when someone apologizes because sometimes it is not okay. Instead we can teach students to thank the other party for expressing their apology by saying, “Thank you for the apology” or “I appreciate the apology”. 
    • When apologizing we should empathize to understand what the other person needs at that moment. We can do this by providing people with the time and space they need until they are ready to talk. 

 

 

Link to part 1 and 2 of Dr. Brenè Brown’s podcast Unlocking Us with guest star Dr. Harriet Lerner titled “I’m Sorry: How To Apologize & Why It Matters” published on May 6, 2020 –

https://brenebrown.com/podcast/harriet-lerner-and-brene-im-sorry-how-to-apologize-why-it-matters/

Melissa Turnbull Gender, Gender Equity, Gender stereotypes, Mental Health, Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching

Boys vs Girls

A friendly competition?

No. 

No. 

No no no no no. 

 

Boys vs girls in sports? Boys vs girls in games? Boys vs girls in math? 

No again. 

 

Here’s why:

  1. Boys vs girls contests assume there are only two genders and reinforces this idea to children. 
  2. This competition forces children to ‘choose’ which side they are on. For those cisgender students, the choice is simple. For students who are transgender, or identify with genders outside of the two given choices, this is much more complicated. Not necessarily because they are unsure of their gender, but because self-identifying in front of the entire class can be detrimental. Students may not be ready to discuss their gender identity, do not feel comfortable, fear being outed, or they may be working on discovering and understanding who they are. 
  3. Gender roles and societal expectations associated with those roles need to be demolished. Gone are the days where we should teach little girls exclusively to be caregivers while leaving the science, technology and math to the boys. Pinning ‘boys’ against ‘girls’ presents to students the idea that there should be some sort of contest, some sort of competition, rather than collaboration amongst all.

Educators who are seeking to make groups may use alternative approaches to divide their class in order to empower students and create a positive classroom environment. Here’s some ways I like to divide students into groups:

  1. By their birth month
  2. The amount of letters in their name 
  3. ‘This or That’ – ask students to decide, for example, “Do you like blue or green?”
  4. Good old fashioned randomization! Use popsicle sticks with student names, random name generators from the internet, student pictures, the list goes on. Use whatever works best for your classroom.

If you have any more thoughts or ideas on how to make non-gendered groups in the classroom, I’d love to hear from you!

Melissa Turnbull 21st Century Learning, Distance learning, Engaging students with online learning, Inspiring Teachers, Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, Teacher Working Conditions, Wellness

Occasional Teaching Online (part 2 of 3): My Challenges

I will never forget my first supply day for virtual learning. Even though I am early into my teaching career, I believe this experience has changed the way I will reflect on my teaching practice for years to come – dare I say forever?

As I logged onto my first Google Meet with no idea who was greeting me on the other side, so many things raced through my mind and my heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest. Nerves. Excitement. Fear. 

In my last post I reflected on my realization of the power of connection and children’s drive for relationships. As I continue to venture on with positivity and optimism, I cannot ignore the raw emotions I have felt, the challenges I have faced and the questions I have unanswered. 

 

“I don’t know”. 

 

In my personal and professional life this year, “I don’t know” has been part of my daily conversations with colleagues, friends and family. Last year, saying this out loud would have felt like admitting defeat, accepting failure even. As the uncertainty and the unknown continues, we are being forced to live in a world of “I don’t know”. The challenge is constantly turning the “don’t know” into “let’s try” with a smile on our faces. Of course we want to support our students, their families, and our communities. Of course we want to embrace change, challenge, and even failure. But, the reality is, we are navigating this new path in which there are no correct answers, there is no manual, and there are no instructions.  

Openly admitting what I don’t know feels uncomfortable and scary. But discomfort is required for growth and change. I share my challenges with you as a means of connection. Maybe you don’t know either – and that is okay. Additionally, admitting the unknown provides opportunities to gain insight from those who may know, those who have ideas and those who can say “I have been there, and I know how hard it can be”. 

As an OT I have felt it challenging at times to engage with students who are not turning on their microphone or camera, for whatever reason. I want to get to know them but am also mindful how vulnerable they may feel turning on their video to chat with a complete stranger. How are you supporting student engagement and providing a safe space for all? 

How are you supporting students with special needs, learning challenges and students who are working with limited resources? I once taught in a class where one of the students did not have paper or pencils. 

How are you supporting students through technical difficulties or navigating new online platforms? I have been doing a lot of screen sharing. I often share my own screen and/or ask students to share their screen if they are comfortable. I am finding this method to be extremely time consuming. Although sometimes necessary, it can also be very distracting. When students share their screen, it puts the issue they are having on display for the whole group to see. This can be helpful if someone knows how to solve the problem, or harmful under certain circumstances and can intensify feelings of helplessness for some students. 

 

*Holds breath* 

No correct answers.

No manual. 

No instructions. 

*Exhales*

 

There is beauty in this.

It may be hidden or the view may be obstructed right now. But it is there. Together with our students and our colleagues, we are the creators, we are the inventors, we are the pioneers.

Melissa Turnbull 21st Century Learning, Building Inclusion, Constant Learning, Distance learning, Inclusion, Occasional Teachers, Teaching online

Occasional Teaching Online (part 1 of 3): My Realization

Full Remote Learning or FRL for short. 

A concept that I had never even imagined myself being a part of in the position of the teacher. Remote learning for post-secondary students was something I was familiar with. In fact, I was learning myself remotely as a Master of Professional Education student, but how would this be possible with children?

I applaud any and all people who have dedicated themselves to ensuring Ontario’s students are safe, engaged and happy during this extremely challenging school year. Educators have put in countless hours and ongoing efforts to reimagine their classrooms (whether they are virtual or face-to-face) all while keeping student’s needs at the forefront of their priorities. This pandemic has forced us all to stop and think and required us to view the world through a lens in which we never have before. Each person with their own perspectives, hardships, wins and realizations. Each person has their own narrative, each educator has a different experience. Personally, my emotions are running higher this year as I feel more nervous, uneasy, confused and overwhelmed than I ever have before. 

 

“The realization that life is absurd cannot be an end, but only a beginning” – Albert Camus

 

I am constantly reflecting on my teaching practice and how I can adapt to new changes, learn from them, grow with them and ‘realize’ from them.

In early October, I picked up my first supply call for FRL. I had no idea what to expect. How would I enter this classroom community and have a positive impact on these students? How do I ensure students are provided with chances for sharing? Collaboration? How do I ensure a safe space for students to take chances, ask questions and make mistakes in the era of ‘muting’ your microphones?

The resilience of children never ceases to amaze me. Here we are as educators feeling unsure, uncomfortable even, as students join in as though they have done this 100 times in the past. Teaching and learning online has reminded me to never underestimate the power of connection. Just a few days ago, I was teaching in an FRL grade 5 classroom where a new student had joined the class that same day. Before our scheduled ‘recess’ time, one of the students in the class asked me if he and the new student could remain online with me for a couple of minutes so he could introduce himself. When the rest of the class had left the Google Meet and the three of us remained, he said “Hey! Do you wanna be my friend?” and the conversation blossomed from there. 

 

THIS. 

 

It was at this moment I had a realization. It became apparent to me that we cannot stop children’s will to connect, drive for relationships and the innocence in their hearts. Nothing will stop this. Not removing them from the physical school building, not the transition to learning online, not wearing a mask, not social distancing, not a pandemic. Nothing.

Melissa Turnbull Challenging Topics, COVID19, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Occasional Teachers, wellness

“Ontario considering extended school closures as winter break approaches”

Gulp. 

My heart sank down to my stomach as I read headlines such as this one flood the news and every single social media platform that I am a member of. 

I am, by nature, a worrier in general. So this year and all that has come with it has brought immense amounts of stress into my personal and professional life. When schools were locked down in March, I was so positive there would be a quick fix to the problem. Like many people, I figured a two week shut down would obviously solve the issue and we would be back with our students in no time. I often reflect back on how misguided I was in those moments. I wish I would have clung to “normal” life just a little bit harder and appreciated it just a little bit more. 

As an Occasional Teacher, my unique situation of travelling from school to school and class to class leaves me extremely vulnerable in the times of COVID-19. I wear my PPE, I wash my hands, I socially distance, but the fear of contracting and/or spreading the virus hovers over my head each day like a dark cloud. Some days it feels like I am trapped in a small room, where the walls are inching closer and closer to me. Therefore the thought of a closure feels safe to me, it feels comfortable, it feels familiar.

On the contrary, it feels like another closure is equivalent to taking ten massive steps back. Educators have made enormous  progress and countless sacrifices in order to welcome students back into school, and are simultaneously supporting students academic, social and emotional development amidst the current restrictions. Being with students is what sets educators souls on fire. It is the students that inspire me every day to keep going, keep persisting, and keep learning. 

So much unknown. So much fear. What will happen to me? Will I continue to have consistent work? Will students be okay, academically? Socially? Emotionally?…

“Minister Lecce says extended winter break will not be necessary”

New news begins to flood my social media. No extended time away from school, for now anyways. As we move forward, through the cold and flu season while battling a second wave, the fragility of the system we have worked so hard to build back up seems more apparent now than ever. It feels like at any moment, things could come to an unknowing halt. Day by day, month by month we remain unsure, on edge, confused and exhausted in anticipation of what the future will hold. 

My grandmother was an elementary school teacher for many years. She now has dementia and does not entirely understand what is happening in the world or comprehend the devastating impacts of the pandemic. Her and I often chat about teaching, as her short term memory is fading but memories of her work as an educator come easily to her mind. I explained to her my panic, my stress and my feelings of hope and despair all at once. She turned to me and said something I will never forget.

“Teachers will never know what their days at school will look like. We could plan forever and the outcome will still be different than expected. But, teachers are good at change, that’s what we do”. 

 

No matter what comes our way,

We’ve.  Got.  This.

Melissa Turnbull Constant Learning, COVID19, Diverse Learning Needs, Inclusion, Inquiry, Occasional Teachers, Play-Based Learning, Professional Learning and Growth, self reflection

“Just” an Occasional Teacher

Hello everyone!

I am thrilled to announce that I will be joining the Heart and Art blogging team this school year. I look forward to time spent being passionately curious with all of you.

As educators, it feels we are under the spotlight this year to openly reflect in conversations with curious strangers on how the school year is going amidst the pandemic. Everyone is wondering how educators are creating activities and lessons for students that involve social distancing, mask wearing and constant hand sanitizing. When asked personally about how this crazy year is affecting me, I often find myself replying with “I am just an Occasional Teacher”. 

I love my job and feel valued in the school system, especially this year with the demanding need for Occasional Teachers across Ontario school boards. I feel important, worthy and necessary. Why do I sell myself short each time by adding the word “just” in front of my job title? 

The word “just” has so much power and holds the potential to remove importance from meaningful concepts. As I reflect upon my own use of the word “just”, I begin to think about how this small but significant word can affect my students. Psychologist Carol Dweck talked about students’ growth mindset and the power of the word “yet”. In terms of growing and learning, students can use the word “yet” to talk about what they cannot do, but will learn to do after practicing, taking chances and making mistakes (for example: “I do not know how to multiply… yet”).

Does the word “just” have the opposite effect? Instead of granting power and adding room for growth like the word “yet” does, “just” seems to diminish the power of whatever follows.

Let’s harness the power of “yet”! Here are some phrases that should not follow the word “just”:

  • Students are “just” playing.

Play is how students explore, investigate, discover and create what they don’t know yet. No matter age or ability, each student deserves play opportunities in an environment that respects and celebrates the benefits play can have on academic progress, social and emotional growth and overall student well-being. 

  • “Just” Art, Phys. Ed, Social Science or any subject that isn’t Math or Literacy.

Each subject and learning area contributes to holistic development while providing opportunities for learning and success in areas which students have yet to grow. Students deserve to know that each subject is important and personal accomplishments can be celebrated in sports, the arts, etc. With the pressures to push for success in reading, writing and math, we must not let talent and passion in other areas go unnoticed, unacknowledged or undervalued.

  • You are “just” an Occasional Teacher/Rotary Teacher/whatever your role is in a school.

To all my fellow educators out there, no matter what you are doing, no matter where you are, you will ALWAYS be more than “just” a (insert job title here) to your students, their families and the school community.

You are passionate.

You are important.

You are valued.

For what you know now and for what you do not know yet. 

Michelle Fenn 21st Century Learning, Challenging Topics, Constant Learning, COVID19, General, Inspiring Students, Inspiring Teachers, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Modern Learning, Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, Professional Judgement, self reflection, social emotional learning, teacher efficacy, Teacher Wellness, Teacher Working Conditions, Teaching as a public profession, wellness, Wellness, wellness, Women at Work, Women's Health

Compassion Fatigue and Teacher Burnout

It is no secret to educators that teaching is an occupation of high stress.  A Johns Hopkins University study ranked teaching as the 4th most stressful job of all occupations.  Educators know that the job is stressful, but sometimes it helps to put a name to something in order to help us cope.  Sometimes, it is enough to know that others are going through what we are going through in order to come to terms with our own feelings. Recently during a webinar workshop from “Right to Play,” the facilitators referred to what some educators are experiencing right now as “compassion fatigue.”  I had heard of this phenomenon relating to emergency response occupations, but I had never really thought about it in terms of education.  What we may consider “stress” in the teaching profession may be explained in better detail by examining compassion fatigue.

According to Joanna Krop, author of  “Caring without Tiring: Dealing with Compassion Fatigue Burnout in Teaching,” compassion fatigue “is a form of burnout characterized by extreme mental, emotional and spiritual exhaustion, and it’s an occupational hazard in the caring professions.”

Teacher burnout is not something new.  Recently, however, there have been a number of articles written on the topic of teacher burnout.  A few days ago, the CBC released and article with the results of a survey completed by 2,000 teachers about the pressures in education. One third of the respondents are thinking about retiring or seeking a new career.  One third.  Some educators cite that the pressure and stress is coming from trying to maintain the best educational experiences possible for students while also trying to adhere to pandemic rules and guidelines.  Teachers hold themselves to a high level of integrity and service in their work, in addition to wanting to help their students and their families.  Then add a global pandemic on top of the regular burnout reasons.  As if that wasn’t enough, there are so few teachers available for daily occasional work that teachers feel more guilty than ever when they need to take time for their health.  For many educators, teaching isn’t the only thing that is leading to that compassion fatigue as many teachers have the added pressures of taking care of children and/or aging parents. The most challenging aspect of burnout is that what seems to be the biggest factor in burnout is dedication to the job.  The more dedicated the teacher, the more apt they are to experience burnout. Teachers are burning out because they care.  Hardly seems fair.

The question becomes then, how do we counteract compassion fatigue and burnout? From what I’ve researched, it is all of the things that we know are good for our mental health:

  • figure out what you can control and what you can’t and focus on what you can control
  • temper your expectations of yourself and your work (remember that we are in the middle of a global pandemic and the circumstances are different)
  • small steps towards getting outside, eating betting, exercising and doing creative things
  • surround yourself with supportive people and trusted colleagues
  • be aware of toxic positivity or the rabbit hole of complaining about things
  • show your true self to your students, be authentic so that your students have permission to be authentic too
  • quiet time for yourself and for being mindful

All of that sounds wonderful.  All of it sounds like common sense.  However, it isn’t as easy to put into practice as all of the research makes it sound.  This can appear of just another long list of things to do added to an already long list of things to do. Sometimes burnout can get to a point where you feel immobilized or you may even be at the point that just getting through the next breath is all that you can plan.  As someone who generally plans the menu of meals for our family a week in advance so that we can do our groceries, I know the chaos I feel with uncertainty.  Right now my plan is to try to be patient and gentle with myself.  Everything is going a hundred miles an hour and I keep thinking that I have to keep up or somehow I’ll miss the bus.  However, I also know that if I get to the point of exhaustion, I become less self aware and I’ll end up getting run over by the bus and won’t be good to anyone.

It feels like an impossible task to willingly accept less of myself than I normally expect.  I feel like I will let others down.  However, if I don’t temper the expectations that I have of myself and my work I’m going to have tire tracks on my back and that won’t be good for anyone.

Michelle Fenn Challenging Topics, Inspiring Teachers, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, self reflection, Teacher Wellness, Teacher Working Conditions, wellness, Wellness, Women's Health

Illness, Shame and the Educator Martyr Complex

A recent Twitter post from Liz Ryan @humanworkplace read:

Coronavirus is teaching us that:

  1. Healthcare is a right
  2. Paid sick time is a right
  3. Many, many people could do their work from home (clearly not teachers)
  4. We are more dependent on a healthy society than we want to acknowledge

This tweet got me thinking about a couple of things. It got me thinking about how teachers and education workers drag ourselves into work when we are ill.  When I first began teaching I used to do this all of the time.  I thought for sure that my students absolutely needed me to be there and the classroom would fall apart in the hands of any other teacher. I was worried that my classroom would be a disaster and I would find notes about behaviour behind from the occasional teacher and thought that this was somehow my fault. So I would drag myself to work not feeling well, extending the sickness for myself and thoughtlessly exposing my students and colleagues to the illness.  I hear it all the time in the staffroom, “I probably should have stayed home but I figured that I had better drag myself in because…”  It is a martyr complex.  Get over yourself.  You are not irreplaceable. There is no reward for going to work ill.

This tweet also got me thinking about how much I appreciate the work our occasional teachers do each day.  Just by doing their job, they allow me to be able to stay at home and get better.  They are professionally trained teachers.  As fellow colleagues and ETFO members I trust that they intend to do the best for our students when they enter our classrooms.

The tweet also got me thinking about the shame and guilt that educators often feel when they are ill.  I mean, if so-and-so drags themselves into work even though they are sick then it starts to build a culture of expectation.  This is ridiculous.  This is how disease spreads.  Stay home and come back when you’re well. No one will thank you for getting them sick.

The tweet also got me thinking about how education unions have fought to keep our paid sick time and how much I appreciate it when I am ill.  A few years ago I had to take an extended medical leave and as guilty as I felt, it was the best thing I could have done for myself and my students. I had to work through the guilt.  If we didn’t have the benefits that we do, I might have had to quit the profession altogether.

I’ve typed lesson plans in between bouts of nausea.  I’ve sent plans from my phone in a hospital waiting room. At the end of the day, it was worth it to take the time to get better for me, for my colleagues and ultimately for my students.