Rashmee Karnad-Jani Advocacy for change, agency, Building Inclusion, Feedback, Why unions matter, Women at Work

How Is Everything?

Keeping Pace with the Calendar

The school calendar marches on. As I write this post, progress reports are being read, revised and will be shared soon. Interviews with families will be coming up in a few weeks. Even as I remember those days and the rich discussions of those times, now I find joy by walking alongside colleagues.

I see how busy it right now in the work spaces where we spend our days. Hallways, classrooms, school yards… everywhere. Sometimes it feels as if Friday to Friday is one chunk of time and it’s as if on the last day of the work week, I am able to exhale when I hadn’t even realized I was holding my breath.

This Friday, after work, I checked my phone before putting it away for the night. A friend was checking in.  This special person is a kind human being who in addition being a passionate and caring educator diligently shares spider plants with me regularly which in spite of my green thumb haven’t lived past the six month mark. I value this friendship greatly!

A blue text message bubble with the words "How is everything?"
A Friday-evening check-in from a friend

How Does One Respond?

We often ask each other this question, don’t we? “How is everything?” We ask because we care but is there time to share all the ups and downs of the day when you and I know the person who’s asked has their own load to carry?

Perhaps you’re thinking “Rashmee, three posts ago you’d said if you get wobbly reach out to someone.” Yes, I had and that’s possible but there’s a time to share and a time to say “all is well”. Also, in that moment at the end of the week, we need to set down the day and rest. Imagine if one truly took up the question “how’s everything?” and poured ones heart out to people who ask. What would one say?

So here’s something I do: I remember that everything is what I make of it really. Everyday a goal I set for myself is to leave each space just a little better than I found it, even if it’s through a five minute interaction or a one hour consult.  Then I let it go. This is a skill that I practice everyday, because without that I’d be less efficient and empathetic in my work.

Learning Together 

Especially when the school year goes from week to week, the importance of staying well informed cannot be stressed enough. More so, when it’s time for decision making, voting for important matters to move forward,  it is important that we as members know what has been going on around us even as we focus on what is going on within us and between us.

Whether you’re just getting started or have been working for a long time, please check Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario – Home regularly.

Did you know about Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario – Publications ?

Have you listened to  Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario – Elementary: A podcast from ETFO where each podcast episode is introduced by students?

Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario – ETFO eNewsletters also have  lot of important information that is shared again by my local, so I get to notice it twice. This is how I signed up for The 2024 ETFO Listening Tour and am looking forward to attending on November 19th with colleagues at my local.

Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario – Labour Movement has a rich history and there is a book called “Class Action: How Ontario’s Elementary Teachers Became a Political Force”. I enjoyed reading it and wrote a review about it in ETFO’s Voice. Check it out. Who came before us? What did they fight for? What are we working towards for those who walk alongside now and what do we leave behind for those who come after us? These are key questions that I invite you to think about.

Another exciting resource I’ve discovered is Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario – Welcome to ETFO Booklet and as a member of the New Members Committee at our local, I am looking forward to the conversations that ripple out from here.

Holding The Door Open

Many years ago, I think in 2011, I went looking for support from a released officer at our local, through a phone call after a long and heavy day. I recognize that moment as the turning point because since then, my participation in ETFO’s activities through reading, sharing, writing and volunteering increased exponentially. I also do something I call “holding the door open”: I invite others to connect with elected members within our local and build relationships so that they are not alone.

So, this week, while leaving many thoughts and wonderings behind on a Friday evening, I decided to do something as it was my pre-Winter commitment:  I connected four friends to the released officer of our local via email – with permission of course. They may not need anything right now but when they do, they know whom to contact. Small steps matter.

The Social Organization of Knowledge

The social organization of knowledge (how we share information through informal networks and make it relatable to our contexts) is critical because it strengthens us as individuals and as a collective.

When we are connected with one another in times of calm, it strengthens how we stay on the path of solidarity  in challenging times.

There is a saying in in Konkani, my mother-tongue “ One doesn’t dig a well when one gets thirsty”. So, let us dig a well before we need to.  Do check out the resources I have shared and let us find one another.

What next?

This is my fourth conversation with you. Thank you to all who have responded to the writings with your connections, memories, a single sentence – all of which are precious for me.

I’d love to hear from you about topics that interest you.

What are you thinking about?  What do you want to write about when you decide to step into this space? What do you want me to write about?

And above all: How is everything?

With You, In Solidarity,

Rashmee Karnad-Jani

Rashmee Karnad-Jani First Nations, Learning About Your Students, Mentorship, wellness

Sometimes We Feel Wobbly

Ever since I heard last June that I was going to be able to connect with all of you, as my colleagues and readers of Heart and Art Blog, my first thought was about  what I would like to say to you first. How shall I begin? Then I thought the new-ness of this connection is very similar to the feelings before each new school year: “I can’t wait to meet you”

As I went about July and August, there was excitement in the air: I was receiving news from friends and colleagues as well as reading on social media, posts from people I have not met, about how happy they are to be hired for a contract or for a Long Term Occasional position at a school. This was usually followed by a request for connection: to people, resources, and all the other things we know we are going to need to do our jobs and support our students. People were getting together to prepare for school. 

The excitement at such a time is palpable: whether it is a new job or a new grade one is teaching, whether it is a new school or one where one may have taught three children in a family in a long career. Although many ETFO members take Additional Qualification courses over the summer, engage in other self directed professional learning, there is also apprehension because you and I do not know what lies ahead. 

Perhaps you paused in those busy weeks before the start of school and wondered what it was going to be like that first day, first week back. After all, whether new or experienced, whether you have gained professional experience in Ontario or elsewhere, every September feels like the first September sometimes. 

What do we do when we feel wobbly?

A system leader once said to us in a large departmental meeting “Sometimes we get wobbly”. At the time of publication, it is almost the end of September. Some of us may be feeling wobbly with all that we carry on our long lists of things to do. I know I feel this way. So what do I do then? I think of people who have steadied me at such times and I try and reach within and reach over.

Self, Students, Families and Fellow-travellers

While there are many formal supports available in school districts within Ontario, some of us are either far away from accessing them or these supports may be hidden under links on a massive website and that takes time. 

I would therefore like to begin with the connections that are accessible and nearby. Although they have the potential to be fulfilling and frustrating before becoming fulfilling again, I am sharing below some key connections that have helped me during two decades of this work I have been privileged to do when I feel wobbly.

Self

While there are many ways to seek support, I find that for me and many (a term I use often as I hesitate to say “we” because it may not be so for all) it helps to sit with oneself and think about what matters to me in this job, who matters to me in this job and how can I use what I already know in this job? That often is a calming space because I then know that I have done The Work to get to this point. While I shall continue to learn, I also know that I am able to take the first steps I need. There, I feel better already.

Students 

Students have always been the guiding heartbeat for the work of educators. Our youngest learners whether they willingly enter a space or cry for a few minutes before joining their peers in a conversation or exploration show us what they like or dislike, how they want to be seen and spoken to and how they will engage with the carefully planned lessons and materials you or I have laid out.  In times when things didn’t go as I planned whether in a Grade 7 classroom or a kindergarten space, after the initial wave of “what now?” had passed, I learned that examining the “why” of that communication helped me and the student connect just a little better the next day. Or perhaps the day after. What was the student trying to tell me? Did I listen, notice, connect and understand? This helps. 

Families

One of the invisible aspects of a teacher’s work is to engage with families and to work in partnership with them. Families do not always fit into what is seen as the Standard North American Family, or a two-parent, heterosexual family where the father’s work allows the mother to attend to the children’s schooling and educational outcomes as I had shared in 2021 through ETFO’s Voice The school-family connection is mainly the connection between the primary caregiver of the student and you, their educator. However different from me the family of my student may be, when I relate to the humanity of the person in front of me and when I listen without taking things personally, I am able to see that there are ways that I can work towards positive partnership possibilities.  After all educational work unfolds in the murkiness of social problems and when we think through that, we can access resources that can help. Families are also rich sources of information and aspirations for our student and seeing that early on, helps.

Fellow Travellers

Although the formal word is colleague, I choose the word fellow traveller (or hum-suf-ur in Hindi and Urdu, two of the few languages that I speak). Our fellow travellers have walked this way before, either as educators through ethical practice and professional experience in the situation that is challenging me that day.  Talking to our colleagues helps us make meaning of the struggles and also reminds us to look forward to the sunshine.  I hope we all have that one person who listens without judgement and then asks, “How can I help? One cannot thank these mentors enough therefore one strives to pay it forward whenever the opportunity arises.

Learning Together

As we approach Orange Shirt Day, I recognize the deep responsibility to learn everyday so that I can continue to make a positive difference in the way I engage with the people and spaces around me. This month the youngest students in Ontario schools started their journey to and through our classrooms where they will spend a decade of their lives, either in one building or perhaps after Grade 5 going to another building to complete their middle school years.

As a gardener, I know that the tender seedlings must be nurtured carefully so that they thrive and grow stronger.  I am sharing “Healing Conversations: A collection of activities for the primary classroom”with you and I hope it leads to many rich discussions.

I wish you all the best in the weeks ahead.

With you, in solidarity

Rashmee Karnad-Jani

Michelle Fenn 21st Century Learning, Before School Starts, Building Inclusion, Challenging Topics, Classroom Layouts, Classroom Management, Constant Learning, COVID19, Flexible Classroom, Inclusion, Inspiring Students, Inspiring Teachers, Learning About Your Students, Professional Learning and Growth, Resilience, Student Ownership, Student wellbeing, Students as Teachers, teacher efficacy, Teacher Wellness, transition, Wellbeing, wellness, wellness, Wellness

Educational Perfection

As we end another school year and look forward to summer vacation, I think back to my first years in education and what summer “vacation” looked like for me. July was spent taking additional qualification courses and most of August was spent prepping and planning. It wasn’t really much of a vacation.  So why did I do it? Two reasons. I am passionate about learning and I am a (now recovering) perfectionist-especially as an educator.

I must have thought there was some kind of a prize for having the tidiest, prettiest and well organized classroom. I wanted my classroom to look like something out of the Scholar’s Choice catalogue. The custodians would be annoyed at having me in the school and I would wait anxiously for them to be finished waxing our hallway so that I could get in and set up my classroom. I needed everything to match. If I had baskets for items in the classroom they had to all be the same colour. It isn’t always easy to find 24 of the same basket at the Dollar Store.  Before the students started in September I felt the need to have labels on all of their notebooks, duo tangs and I even labelled their pencils. I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to control the environment for my students. My classroom looked like a showroom on the first day of school and I would spend the next 194 days trying to maintain that standard. Our first printing practice lesson (because we still did that back then) was to practice writing “A place for everything and everything in it’s place.” When I think back now to all of the time and energy that I wasted not allowing learning to get messy I shake my head. It was exhausting.

After twenty plus years in education I’ve learned a few things about educational perfectionism and letting go of control in order to empower the learners in the classroom. When I was given a portable for a classroom that I wasn’t able to get into much before school started I panicked at first.  I didn’t have space or time to create a showroom. I decided to give the design over to the grade 4-5 students.  I still had labelled duo tangs and a place for each of them to put their things that was their space ready on the first day but the rest, we did together. It built community, it gave the students ownership and it gave me some of my summer back. If you’ve ever taught in a portable that has the coat racks inside, winter is a bit of a nightmare for an organizational freak but eventually I let it go. We still had a tidy classroom because their wasn’t enough space to be too messy but the organization of things didn’t stifle the learning. We learned how to paint in a portable without water using buckets and trips into the school. We brought lawn chairs to school at sat outside at reading time. I loved our little cabin in the woods.

As educators we have a lot of people that we are accountable to in our jobs. Students, families, administrators, our board and our communities are all stakeholders in what we do. The pressure to be perfect in our roles can be overwhelming and paralyzing. What educators do each day is literally driven by “overall and specific EXPECTATIONS”. It took time for me to realize that the expectations that I was putting on myself were much higher than those of anyone else. It took reflection to realize that perfectionism isn’t the badge of honour that I thought it once was and that it was making my life more difficult. I came to understand that it isn’t the room or the resources that make me a good educator.  It is about the connections and relationships with my students and their families that matter. It is about embracing the Ms. Frizzle moments and rolling with it.  If I’ve learned anything from COVID-19 it is that being flexible and letting go of what I cannot control are the keys to staying out of perfectionism. I plan on guarding my summer vacation as I would a medical specialist’s appointment but I’ll likely take a few professional resource books along to read in the waiting room.

 

Michelle Fenn 21st Century Learning, Behaviour Management, Building Inclusion, Celebrating Success, Challenging Topics, Classroom Management, Constant Learning, COVID19, Distance learning, Equity, Inclusion, Inquiry, Inspiring Students, Inspiring Teachers, Making a Difference Through Education, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Modern Learning, Remote Learning, self reflection, social emotional learning, Student wellbeing, teacher efficacy, Teacher Wellness, Teaching online, Wellbeing, wellness, Wellness

“How can I help?”

The adage of “If you want something done right, do it yourself,” was ingrained in me at an early age.  Until recently, I have always thought that being confident, capable and successful meant never asking for help.  I used to think that asking for help meant that you were weak.  I now think that asking for help is incredibly brave.  My 17 year old son recently told me about a group chat with his workmates.  Someone at work had sent an urgent message to the group asking how to do something while closing up the restaurant.  Many of the coworkers poked fun at the lack of knowledge of the person seeking help.  My son (brace yourself for this proud Mama Bear moment) texted that it was really brave of his co-worker to ask for help and provided the information that the coworker needed to close up for the night. I think that his act demonstrated wisdom an empathy far beyond his years.

Have you ever felt a little territorial or protective about your ideas or lessons in your classroom?  I imagine everyone likes to be valued for their unique talents and abilities.  In general, I don’t think anyone likes to be seen to be struggling and consequently, some teachers might choose to work in isolation. Perhaps it is fear. I’ve spoken to many colleagues who have identified as suffering from imposter syndrome. Perhaps those of us who have experienced imposter syndrome think that if anyone else got eyes on what we do every day that we would be judged and found to be lacking in some way.  Often teachers will tell me that they don’t have time to share with their colleagues-there just isn’t enough time in the day to collaborate. With the busy pace of education, I know that I have absolutely felt that way. My experience has been that when I take the time to collaborate with others I in fact, have more time and consequently better programming.  It is a concerted effort and takes a trusting relationship to co-plan and co-teach but when it works, it is amazing.

In my role as an instructional leadership consultant I am responsible for two portfolios; Innovation and Technology and the New Teacher Induction Program.  At the beginning of the COVID pandemic as teachers were teaching virtually for the first time, some had never used things like Google apps, FlipGrid and Kahoot. I was doing my best to support teachers with tools for teaching online.  Thankfully, I knew some other teachers that I could reach out to and ask for help.  These teachers, close to the beginning of their careers, were using these tools in the classroom and were able to help design and present webinars to other more seasoned colleagues.  As teachers, we often think that we need to have all of the answers for our students and with one another.  I’ve heard it referred to as the “Sage on the Stage Syndrome.” We seem to feel that we need to stay ahead of everything, which is impossible.  Education is changing more rapidly than ever.  I learned so much from my colleagues over the months that we worked together as a team and even though it was stressful at times, it was also incredibly fun.  I look back now on the powerful outreach our work had and the gratitude that was expressed by our colleagues and I am so glad that I got over myself and asked for help.

In the t.v. drama “New Amsterdam” whenever the new director of the hospital is introduced to someone, the first question that he asks is, “How can I help?”  It happens in the first episode about twenty times. This was a BIG a-ha moment for me.  What a powerful question!  How often have we wanted our students to ask for help?  How often have they refused when we have asked “Can I help you?”or “Do you need help?”  Unfortunately, asking for help is still seen as a weakness by many people.  However the question “How can I help?” turns it around so that the responsibility and focus is on the person offering assistance.  It is more difficult for someone to just say “No.” to this question.  It can help to create psychological safety in order to focus on what can be done to help rather than someone sitting in discomfort or shame because they won’t ask for help.  Sometimes just asking can make all the difference to someone when they are feeling overwhelmed, even if they decline the offer.  The four small words, “How can I help?” can make a powerful impact.  Sometimes, asking for help is the bravest thing you can do.

Michelle Fenn 21st Century Learning, Celebrating Success, Challenging Topics, Constant Learning, COVID19, Inspiring Students, Inspiring Teachers, Making a Difference Through Education, Mental Health, Mentorship, Mindfulness, Modern Learning, Resilience, self reflection, social emotional learning, solidarity, Students as Teachers, Teacher Appreciation, teacher efficacy, Teacher Wellness, Teacher Working Conditions, Wellbeing, wellness, Wellness, wellness, Women at Work, Women's Health

Attitude of Gratitude

I don't have to chase extraordinary moments to find happiness -- it's right in front of me if I'm paying attention and practicing gratitude.

Many years ago I remember watching a gratitude themed Oprah episode.  There was a gratitude journal that the guest had developed and was relaying all of the benefits of writing down things that you were grateful for each day.  The power of suggestion (I’m a sucker for an impulse buy for self-improvement) lead me to the nearest Chapters to purchase one of those journals that weekend.  I certainly didn’t fill that journal. I think I lost interest in a couple of months because it felt as though I was writing the same thing over and over again.  I realize now that gratitude, like mindfulness and meditation, is a “practice.”

Gratitude practice is most effective when life is rough.  It sounds counterintuitive.  It is much easier to be grateful when things are going well right?  Easy to “count your blessings” when you are sitting on a beach in a resort in the Dominican Republic.  I personally feel the power of the gratitude practice when life isn’t going according to plan.  Though, I want to be clear here, there is a fine line between true gratitude practice and “looking on the bright side” or “finding the silver lining.”  That bright-side-silver-lining thinking can border on toxic positivity which isn’t helpful.

Gratitude practice means different things to different people.  For me, it is connected to daily journaling.  Each night since the fall I have been writing about my day in terms of gratitude before going to bed. Some nights I might write for 5 minutes.  Some nights I write for a half hour.  It might read something like, “I’m grateful that we got outside for a walk, that my son felt good about his essay after all of the struggles and tears, that we were able to eat a healthy meal, for Hello Fresh being delivered to my door and for the opportunity to reach out and connect to some new teachers through professional learning today.”  I try to reflect on the events of my day in terms of gratitude.  I could write in my journal that the technology in my professional learning session that day was glitchy, we got off to a rocky start trying to get everyone into the WebEx room, and there were links that didn’t work even though I had tested them twice. Instead, I choose to be grateful for the connection and discussion that I had with the teachers that day.  It isn’t that I ignore that bad things happen or think about how things can be improved, but ruminating on the bad things that happened during the day right before going to bed isn’t going to ensure much of a restful sleep.

In some of the professional learning opportunities that I have recently hosted with new teachers we have discussed the struggles of the current climate in the classroom.  It is important to have a safe place for teachers to voice those concerns and have someone listen with compassion and empathy and ask curious questions.  I will often say that there are many things that I can’t help them with, but that I am there to “embrace the suck” with them.   At the conclusion of those discussions my final question is always, “What is a recent personal or professional success that you’ve experienced that you would like to share with the group?”  This ends the discussion on a note of gratitude. It is SO easy to get caught up in venting and complaining about the situation in education right now. Teaching it is NOT an easy job on any given day but the difficulties have grown exponentially with the pressures that COVID has added.  So when we can take a moment to remember why we continue to go to work each day, why we got into the job in the first place and what our recent wins have been, I think it brings a feeling of hope.

Sometimes I practice gratitude in a less formal way that is more like mindfulness.  Recently while walking on a treed trail on a bright, sunny, winter day with my best friend, I stopped mid sentence and just looked around at the beauty.  I said to my friend, “I just had to take a minute to take this in.  We are so fortunate to be able to walk here.”  It only took a moment.  I don’t do that all of the time, we’d never get anywhere on our walks! However, remembering to do it every so often helps me to deal with stress and the bad things when they do happen.  If in the moment of a stressful situation I can take a moment to breathe and practice gratitude it sometimes keeps the emotions from escalating.  When conversing with someone who is frustrated and perhaps complaining or lashing out I try to remember that this person is doing the best they can at that moment and that each opportunity to interact with someone who is suffering is a chance to learn and I try to be grateful for that.  Author Andrea Owen in her book, “How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t” would call it an AFOG-another flipping opportunity for growth.  When I remember to think about gratitude in a not so great moment, I might do it raised shoulders and through gritted teeth, but I keep trying.  It is, after all a practice.

“If the opposite of scarcity is enough, then practicing gratitude is how we acknowledge that there’s enough and that we’re enough.” -Brene Brown

Michelle Fenn Celebrating Success, Challenging Topics, Constant Learning, General, Inspiring Teachers, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Play-Based Learning, Teacher Appreciation, teacher efficacy, Teacher Wellness, The Arts, Wellbeing, Wellness, wellness, Women at Work, Women's Health

Rejuvenation Through Creation

For me as a kid, there was no better feeling than opening up a new box of 64 Crayola crayons.  The big box with the flip top lid and the sharpener on the side.  I can remember agonizing over which colour to pick first and being so thrilled by the perfection of the colour palette in neat rows in that box.  I loved to draw and colour. I could do it for hours never lifting my attention from the page.  In adulthood, I abandoned doing art for pleasure.  It seemed silly for me to sit around and draw or paint for no real reason.  I felt I should be doing something productive.  A few years ago I began to create art again and realized how much I had missed it and how much joy it brought to my life. I create digital art now, which isn’t quite the same rush as opening a box of crayons but it is easier to share with others-like the picture above.  I have recently learned about the health and wellness benefits of creating. Creating is rejuvenating, it is rest and it is soul food.

Dan Tricarico, in his book “Sanctuaries: Self-Care Secrets for Stressed-Out Teachers”, he talks about how people get lost in an activity that you love so much that the rest of the world seems to fade away.  He calls it a state of “flow”.  I find myself getting into that state of flow when I draw, create music, write, cook or do jigsaw puzzles.  It isn’t that passive state of binge watching something on Netflix.  However, sometimes life’s answer is just that.  The state of flow is active and when I emerge from that state of flow, I feel rested and invigorated.  In Jessie Scholl’s article, “Go With the Flow: How States of Blissful Concentration Can Boost Your Overall Health and Well-Being” she states that, “Flow triggers the opposite of a fight-or-flight response.  Breathing becomes more relaxed, muscles loosen, and heart rate slows.  The specific biochemistry associated with flow varies depending on the activity, but the overall benefits to health and well-being are the same. ”  In fact, a 2018 Forbes article, “Here’s How Creativity Actually Improves Your Health” written by Ashley Stahl, claims that creativity increases happiness, reduces dementia, improves mental health, boosts your immune system and makes you smarter. Well, who doesn’t want all of those things?

You don’t have to be a professional musician, writer, artist or athlete to practice flow.  You can do it with any activity with some level of skill that requires you to pay attention.  It is really a type of active meditation.  Flow can be found with exercise, writing, dancing, baking, gardening, robotics or whatever activity brings you joy.

Don’t have the “time” for a creative pursuit?  It definitely requires some intentional effort to ensure that you take some time each day to pursue what you enjoy doing. It doesn’t have to be for hours but make it a specific small goal. In building anything into a routine or ritual, micro habits are key.  These are tiny steps towards implementation that grow into longer lasting habits. When I started creating art again, I just started with doing 5 minutes a day.  I just drew something.  I wasn’t worried about perfection or even completion.  I started getting lost in the flow and those minutes eventually became hours over time.  I continued to build my time until I created the habit to attempt to do something creative at least twice a week.  Beware of your inner perfectionism critic if you have one, like I do.  Give yourself some self compassion if you get out of the habit.  No one is keeping score and it is meant to be for you and your health and wellness.  When I get lost in stress and the life’s duties I often think, I should probably create something and get into that flow state-it has been a while.  Ultimately, I never regret taking that time away from the rush and hustle.

If your activity is just one more thing on your to-do list, it isn’t going to bring you joy and happiness.  In order for something to really feed your soul, it has to be something you value, something authentically you and something that you want to do because it brings you a sense of flow, peace, focus and energy.  Hopefully you will find something that gives you that “new box of crayons feeling,” whatever that means for you.

Michelle Fenn General

My Inner Critic and the Teacher Across the Hall

Sadly, I’ve spent a lot of time over my career as an educator listening to my inner critic.  Recently, I’ve actually put a “face” to my inner critic.  My inner critic looks remarkably like the mascot from Montreal’s “Just for Laughs” festival.  Ironically, the name given to the mascot by the festival is Victor.  In more cases than I care to admit, Victor has been victorious in getting the better of me.  Sometimes I can visualize squashing Victor underneath my shoe.  Those are good days.  Other times I might be able to stuff him into a cupboard.  Sometimes he is sitting right on my shoulder and whispering in my ear and won’t go away no matter what I do.  All Victor really wants to do is protect me from getting hurt-inner critics do serve a purpose, but he will lie to me in order to get his way.  What I am constantly practicing is separating the truth from the lies and stories that I tell myself about a situation before it gets out of hand.

Victor gets particularly loud whenever it has anything to do with my being an educator.  My inner critic often compares me to others and makes me feel bad about myself.  It might go something like this, “How can you be so weak?  Everyone else is handling their job during the pandemic just fine! You cannot ask for help or let others see you sweat.  They will think that you are crap at your job and you’ll be fired from teaching altogether.  Why can’t you be more like those Super Teacher-of-the-Year Educators on Twitter?”  Sometimes I can get lost in the middle of Victor’s storytelling.  He can be quite convincing.  However, when I am self aware I can pick apart his rationale.  “How do you know that everyone else is handling things just fine?  I don’t know the story of everyone else.  They might be suffering just as much as I am but don’t want to talk about it either.  People don’t get fired for having bad days.  Asking for help is not weak.  Asking for help is brave.  Those teachers on Twitter might post their best days and best lessons but still have bad days.  What are they even teaching and assessing with this Pinterest project?  I am a strong educator and I am doing my best every day, in the middle of a pandemic and sometimes good enough has got to be good enough.  There is more to life than my job.  Go to your cupboard Victor, you aren’t winning this one.”  Sometimes it works like a charm and Victor scurries away.  Other times I have to stuff him in the cupboard forcefully. (Disclaimer: No mascots were injured in the writing of this blog). The idea is that I have to be self aware and separate fact from fiction.  I have to be very careful with the stories that I tell myself-especially ones that compare me to others.  I never have all of the facts about the lives of other people.

I taught grade one for a number of years and my classroom was across the hall from the Kindergarten teacher.  I was always in awe of her programming, dedication and energy.  In my head, she had it together every single day.  I remember thinking, I wish my program was as amazing as hers.  I don’t feel like what I do with my students measures up.  After many years thinking in this way we chatted about it one afternoon and she admitted that she felt exactly the same way about ME!  That discussion was incredibly enlightening to me. I realized that the stories we tell ourselves about others shape how we feel about ourselves.  Just like on social media, we put our best selves out there and often don’t let others see our cracks.  However, we ALL have cracks.  In the words of Leonard Cohen: “Forget your perfect offering.  There is a crack, a crack in everything.  That’s how the light gets in.”  Perfection is a myth, highly overrated and impossible to sustain.  We need to treat ourselves gently, with care and compassion.  Victor isn’t going to go away anytime soon but I am learning to know when he is lying and I’m calling him on it.  “Go to your cupboard, Victor.”

Will Gourley Advocacy for public education, Celebrating Success, Making a Difference Through Education, solidarity, Teacher Appreciation, Teacher Working Conditions, Teachers Classroom Spending, Teaching as a public profession, Why unions matter

Celebrating us

We did it.

We brought another amazing decade of learning to a succesful close with passion, creativity, and purpose. For ETFO it has been 21 impactful years in the service of public education, students, and educators.

It’s my 11th year as an ETFO member, and I am looking back at the past decade with some mixed feelings. Perhaps it is a function of the time of year when all of the best and worst lists are being shared in the media? Regardless, I am thankful to be an educator who works with wonderful students and amazing staff at a great school.

On the other hand, I am also intrepid about what is continuing to widening gap between student needs and the resources with which to support them. What will the future look like if government cuts and policies changes go unchallenged? This got me thinking about how instrumental the work of ETFO is to supporting us and I found myself browsing through pages of resources, messages, and initiatives via etfo.ca

Whether you are newer to the profession or a veteran educator, I thought it would be a good idea to look back at the positive impacts made by our union that have helped us get us here, and as we prepare to for 2020.

Let’s take a moment to break down some of the numbers from 21 years of ETFO:

  1. Membership ~ Let’s use 75 000 as the mean number of teachers from past to present.
  2. Days of Instruction ~ 21 years x 190 days = 3990 days
  3. Minutes (days x 300 minutes of instructional time x membership) ~ 8.9775 x 10 ^10 minutes

For the sake of my own brain, I am going to say a lot of learning has occured as a direct result of tens of thousands of past and present caring ETFO educators. Millions of moments curated that have culminated and contributed to millions of positive impacts in and out of classrooms. Millions of moments where struggles turned into opportunities and hard work paid off. Millions of students who have gone on to do amazing things. Millions of lessons learned with millions more still to come.

Without becoming too nostalgic, I think it’s a great time to take stock of all the amazing things that have happened that have ensured the voices of elementary educators will be heard. 21 years on the shoulders of giants who have stood tall in the face of adversity to prepare a way for future teachers to succeed. To all of those who have taught before and alongside me, I am grateful.

Grateful for:

21 years of lessons learned in and out of the classroom.
21 years of remaining on the cutting edge of technology and ongoing teacher training
21 years of inclusivity and equity
21 years of looking out for the safety, mental health, and wellbeing of our membership
21 years of dispelling myths with facts
21 years of commitment to something bigger than themselves
21 years of standing up for students, their families, and to make public education better/stronger 
21 years of fighting against the malicious mandates of socially and fiscally tyrannical governments
21 years of solidarity

Such success is something to celebrate. Especially, with a strike mandate of 98% in favour this past Fall. Our collective voices and our profoundly positive professional impact will not be dismissed or ignored.

While certain media factions seek to villify our profession, we know that we possess the power to light the way for public education well into the coming decades. When elected officials undermine our collective good in the short term, we remain focused on the future by standing together now. Side by side, ours are the shoulders to stand on.

As I shared earlier in this post, the numbers show that the possibilities grow everyday an ETFO educators enters a classroom. Bring on 2020!

Cheering you on everyday and looking forward to celebrating an even better future in education. Thank you for reading.

Shawna Rothgeb-Bird self reflection, Teacher Wellness

Returning to Work as a New Parent

Four weeks ago, I returned to work after being on parental leave for ten months. It was my second parental leave, so this time around, I felt much more prepared: I knew I wouldn’t be as rested, energetic, or rational as usual, so I did what I could to make my return easier on me. I took the time over the summer to plan out the first few weeks, wrote my long range plans in July, had my annual learning plan ready to go…

I was ready. Returning to work was still brutally hard.

It didn’t help that I had a challenging assignment, with many students in need of additional support that just does not exist in the French Immersion stream. It didn’t help that my second child doesn’t sleep as well as my first, so I was operating on an average of 3-4 hours of sleep. Mostly, though, coming back to work with a young child at home is just really, really hard.

The second week of school, I found myself reassuring a fellow teacher that feeling overwhelmed was a normal part of adjusting to life as a parent and teacher. She had just come back to work after having her first child, and she’d had a particularly rough night at home, followed by a rough morning in class. Everything she was feeling, I had felt myself – not just this past month, but two and a half years ago, too, when I went back to work after having my first child. I remembered how it felt to have someone else validate how I was feeling, reassure me that I wasn’t alone, and tell me that everything I was going through was normal.

Here is what I would like you to know, new parents who are now navigating life as both parent and teacher:

You are not a bad parent or a bad teacher, but you will feel like both. It took me a year of being back at work before I felt like I was almost back to being “myself” as a parent and a teacher. It was incredibly difficult to know that I wasn’t able to give the same level of attention to parenting or teaching that I was used to, and I hated feeling dissatisfied in the job I was doing on both fronts. I didn’t like rushing out of the house in the morning without being able to play with my baby. I didn’t like rushing out of school at the end of the day with calls left to make, assignments left to mark, and my plan for the next day being little more than a skeleton. I was sure that I was damaging my relationship with my baby and letting my students down.

Neither of those things were true. My baby still loved me just as much as she did before I went back to work. My students were still learning and enjoying school. Some assignments never did end up being returned with grades, and some days I didn’t get to see my baby at all because I would leave before she got up and get home after she was in bed, but it was fine. I was still a good parent. I was still a good teacher. My baby and my students were still thriving – just as yours will.

Your priorities will change. I’ve always been heavily involved in clubs, eager to take professional development courses, willing to stay late at work to ensure that things were organized and prepared for the next day. Now, I’ve scaled back my extracurricular involvement dramatically, I haven’t done much PD outside of a few AQs, and I only stay late at work when I have absolutely no choice. It’s hard to make myself leave at 3:30 every day, because I know I’m leaving behind a pile of work that will never really get any smaller, but I have to or I won’t see my children before bedtime. Having time together to eat, talk, and enjoy each other’s company as a family is really important to me. Work, which used to be my top priority, now comes in second. I’ve watched my colleagues make the same decisions – leaving earlier, passing the torch for clubs and sports teams, making less time for work and more time for their family.

It gets better. It may take a long time, but you will get to a place where you feel like you have things under control. You will start to feel like you can balance your teaching life and your life as a parent. Then something will come along to change that (like having a second child, or your kids starting school, or your home life changing) and you’ll feel out of sync again, but it will come back. It’s hard every time, but it isn’t forever.

Ultimately, your children and your students will be fine. You may do more worksheets than you used to because some days you just don’t have it in you to teach that hands-on, super engaging, but very exhausting lesson you had planned. You may serve a dinner you said you’d NEVER serve because some days you will get home and not be able to fathom anything more complicated. That’s okay. Your students will still learn. Your children will still bond with you. You’ll have to make some hard decisions to do what’s best for you – and even when some days are absolute disasters and you’re an emotional wreck, it’ll still be okay.

Be kind to yourselves, parents. You can’t be everything to everyone, and some days, you’re going to feel like you failed at everything. We’ve all been there. Reach out to your colleagues for help, even if only to talk through what you’re feeling. Lean on them. We’re all in this together, and I promise you that we’ve got your back.

Mike Beetham Celebrating Success, General, Inspiring Teachers, Making a Difference Through Education, self reflection, wellness, Wellness

THANK YOU!

It has been a long, arduous journey from September to the end of June and we are just weeks away from closing the chapter on another academic year. I am going to relive the last ten months of a fictional elementary school teacher.

A group of twenty plus disconnected, diverse individuals arrived in your classroom with a variety of needs beyond their academic status. Through careful planning, creative thinking, endless commitment and tremendous flexibility you were able to to:

  • make each child feel welcomed and loved
  • create a learning community
  • develop the confidence and self-esteem of your students
  • help them move forward in all academic areas
  • taught them the power of being a team
  • provided off campus, intramural, choir, club and athletic opportunities for them
  • offered them a high five to celebrate and emotional support when needed
  • in some cases provided food to meet their basic needs
  • laughed and cried with them
  • believed in them enough to provide tough love
  • wrote reports, called parents, attended meetings
  • organized assemblies and spirit days
  • created Individual Educational Programs
  • purchased necessary materials for your class and students
  • spent endless hours beyond your school day
  • gave up personal and family time for your students
  • helped develop future global citizens
  • attended a variety of professional learning opportunities to help in your journey toward best practice
  • you have sacrificed personal health for your class and school
  • please continue this list with anything I have missed

THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! On behalf of students and parents everywhere, you continue to be a part of one of the most rewarding and important roles there is. You are a teacher!

I would also like to take this time to thank ETFO for the opportunity they have given me to be a part of the Heart & Art blog for the last 5 years. In that time I have had the wonderful opportunity to learn from many talented people. I have had comments shared with me that reminded me how proud I am to be a part of this profession. Finally, I have become a better teacher as my blogging has helped me reflect on the day-to-day work in my classroom. I am making this my last blog and challenge the many talented and inspiring teachers in ETFO to join in and share the expertise that lies within you and your teaching. THANK YOU!