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Michelle Fenn Celebrating Success, Challenging Topics, Constant Learning, General, Inspiring Teachers, Mental Health, Mindfulness, Play-Based Learning, Teacher Appreciation, teacher efficacy, Teacher Wellness, The Arts, Wellbeing, wellness, Wellness, Women at Work, Women's Health

Rejuvenation Through Creation

For me as a kid, there was no better feeling than opening up a new box of 64 Crayola crayons.  The big box with the flip top lid and the sharpener on the side.  I can remember agonizing over which colour to pick first and being so thrilled by the perfection of the colour palette in neat rows in that box.  I loved to draw and colour. I could do it for hours never lifting my attention from the page.  In adulthood, I abandoned doing art for pleasure.  It seemed silly for me to sit around and draw or paint for no real reason.  I felt I should be doing something productive.  A few years ago I began to create art again and realized how much I had missed it and how much joy it brought to my life. I create digital art now, which isn’t quite the same rush as opening a box of crayons but it is easier to share with others-like the picture above.  I have recently learned about the health and wellness benefits of creating. Creating is rejuvenating, it is rest and it is soul food.

Dan Tricarico, in his book “Sanctuaries: Self-Care Secrets for Stressed-Out Teachers”, he talks about how people get lost in an activity that you love so much that the rest of the world seems to fade away.  He calls it a state of “flow”.  I find myself getting into that state of flow when I draw, create music, write, cook or do jigsaw puzzles.  It isn’t that passive state of binge watching something on Netflix.  However, sometimes life’s answer is just that.  The state of flow is active and when I emerge from that state of flow, I feel rested and invigorated.  In Jessie Scholl’s article, “Go With the Flow: How States of Blissful Concentration Can Boost Your Overall Health and Well-Being” she states that, “Flow triggers the opposite of a fight-or-flight response.  Breathing becomes more relaxed, muscles loosen, and heart rate slows.  The specific biochemistry associated with flow varies depending on the activity, but the overall benefits to health and well-being are the same. ”  In fact, a 2018 Forbes article, “Here’s How Creativity Actually Improves Your Health” written by Ashley Stahl, claims that creativity increases happiness, reduces dementia, improves mental health, boosts your immune system and makes you smarter. Well, who doesn’t want all of those things?

You don’t have to be a professional musician, writer, artist or athlete to practice flow.  You can do it with any activity with some level of skill that requires you to pay attention.  It is really a type of active meditation.  Flow can be found with exercise, writing, dancing, baking, gardening, robotics or whatever activity brings you joy.

Don’t have the “time” for a creative pursuit?  It definitely requires some intentional effort to ensure that you take some time each day to pursue what you enjoy doing. It doesn’t have to be for hours but make it a specific small goal. In building anything into a routine or ritual, micro habits are key.  These are tiny steps towards implementation that grow into longer lasting habits. When I started creating art again, I just started with doing 5 minutes a day.  I just drew something.  I wasn’t worried about perfection or even completion.  I started getting lost in the flow and those minutes eventually became hours over time.  I continued to build my time until I created the habit to attempt to do something creative at least twice a week.  Beware of your inner perfectionism critic if you have one, like I do.  Give yourself some self compassion if you get out of the habit.  No one is keeping score and it is meant to be for you and your health and wellness.  When I get lost in stress and the life’s duties I often think, I should probably create something and get into that flow state-it has been a while.  Ultimately, I never regret taking that time away from the rush and hustle.

If your activity is just one more thing on your to-do list, it isn’t going to bring you joy and happiness.  In order for something to really feed your soul, it has to be something you value, something authentically you and something that you want to do because it brings you a sense of flow, peace, focus and energy.  Hopefully you will find something that gives you that “new box of crayons feeling,” whatever that means for you.

Michelle Fenn General

My Inner Critic and the Teacher Across the Hall

Sadly, I’ve spent a lot of time over my career as an educator listening to my inner critic.  Recently, I’ve actually put a “face” to my inner critic.  My inner critic looks remarkably like the mascot from Montreal’s “Just for Laughs” festival.  Ironically, the name given to the mascot by the festival is Victor.  In more cases than I care to admit, Victor has been victorious in getting the better of me.  Sometimes I can visualize squashing Victor underneath my shoe.  Those are good days.  Other times I might be able to stuff him into a cupboard.  Sometimes he is sitting right on my shoulder and whispering in my ear and won’t go away no matter what I do.  All Victor really wants to do is protect me from getting hurt-inner critics do serve a purpose, but he will lie to me in order to get his way.  What I am constantly practicing is separating the truth from the lies and stories that I tell myself about a situation before it gets out of hand.

Victor gets particularly loud whenever it has anything to do with my being an educator.  My inner critic often compares me to others and makes me feel bad about myself.  It might go something like this, “How can you be so weak?  Everyone else is handling their job during the pandemic just fine! You cannot ask for help or let others see you sweat.  They will think that you are crap at your job and you’ll be fired from teaching altogether.  Why can’t you be more like those Super Teacher-of-the-Year Educators on Twitter?”  Sometimes I can get lost in the middle of Victor’s storytelling.  He can be quite convincing.  However, when I am self aware I can pick apart his rationale.  “How do you know that everyone else is handling things just fine?  I don’t know the story of everyone else.  They might be suffering just as much as I am but don’t want to talk about it either.  People don’t get fired for having bad days.  Asking for help is not weak.  Asking for help is brave.  Those teachers on Twitter might post their best days and best lessons but still have bad days.  What are they even teaching and assessing with this Pinterest project?  I am a strong educator and I am doing my best every day, in the middle of a pandemic and sometimes good enough has got to be good enough.  There is more to life than my job.  Go to your cupboard Victor, you aren’t winning this one.”  Sometimes it works like a charm and Victor scurries away.  Other times I have to stuff him in the cupboard forcefully. (Disclaimer: No mascots were injured in the writing of this blog). The idea is that I have to be self aware and separate fact from fiction.  I have to be very careful with the stories that I tell myself-especially ones that compare me to others.  I never have all of the facts about the lives of other people.

I taught grade one for a number of years and my classroom was across the hall from the Kindergarten teacher.  I was always in awe of her programming, dedication and energy.  In my head, she had it together every single day.  I remember thinking, I wish my program was as amazing as hers.  I don’t feel like what I do with my students measures up.  After many years thinking in this way we chatted about it one afternoon and she admitted that she felt exactly the same way about ME!  That discussion was incredibly enlightening to me. I realized that the stories we tell ourselves about others shape how we feel about ourselves.  Just like on social media, we put our best selves out there and often don’t let others see our cracks.  However, we ALL have cracks.  In the words of Leonard Cohen: “Forget your perfect offering.  There is a crack, a crack in everything.  That’s how the light gets in.”  Perfection is a myth, highly overrated and impossible to sustain.  We need to treat ourselves gently, with care and compassion.  Victor isn’t going to go away anytime soon but I am learning to know when he is lying and I’m calling him on it.  “Go to your cupboard, Victor.”

Melissa Turnbull Mental Health, Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, Teacher Wellness

June Tired

Is anyone else June tired in March?

 

The loss of March break has clearly impacted everyone involved in education – students included. The rumours of shut downs coming our way and whisperings of the government cancelling the April break are lurking everywhere I go. The thought of either of these things happening is devastating to me personally for many reasons. 

 

Though we continue to battle a pandemic everyday while committing ourselves to our students, their families and the community – we are tired. We are here. We are doing our best. We are rocking it. But.. we are tired. 

In response to this, I want to get a conversation going. 

What things are you doing for yourself right now? 

Of course, there are many things we are doing for our students to keep learning exciting as we all feel in desperate need of a break. But what are you doing for you? How are you practicing self-care?

Please feel free to comment on this post as a space to share what you are doing for YOU. If you have not done anything for yourself, this is your reminder! 

Take care everyone, secure your own oxygen mask before helping others. 

 

“Talk to yourself like you would to someone you love” – Brenè Brown

Velvet Lacasse Differentiated Instruction, First Nations, Indigenous Perspectives, Outdoor Education, The Arts

Birds of a Feather….

….FLOCK Together!!

In preparation for the Spring Equinox, which is usually held in the Rainbow Garden, I started to think creatively about how we could gather as a whole school community and respect COVID health and safety protocols. I wanted to incorporate dance, and then I remembered about flocking.

WTF?
Flocking is a type of movement improvisation, where the whole group mirrors each other’s movement. Students can be organized in a straight line or in the shape of a diamond. In flocking, there is one student who leads a movement, which is followed by the other students.

Different students can become the leader, just like birds do when they are flying together, by changing their position. In a diamond formation, the student at the top of the diamond is the leader. When everyone rotates a quarter turn, there is a new leader at the top of the diamond. Flocking can be inspired by music that is played, but I wanted to integrate text and embody the Land Acknowledgment.

Thanksgiving Address:
We are learning that many Indigenous and First Nations communities offer greetings and gratitude at the beginning of every gathering. The Haudenosaunee Confederacy, which includes the nations of Cayuga, Onondaga, Tuscarora, Seneca, Mohawk and Oneida, share The Thanksgiving Address. Here is a video that describes the importance of this text.

In the Thanksgiving Address, all parts of creation are recognized with honour and respect. Here is a link to the text we used. We have been deepening our understanding of this important protocol by speaking and listening to the words, drawing, writing and reflecting. This was our first time exploring the text through choral movement and mindfulness. It was very powerful.

Bear Song:
As educators, it is important to build relationships with First Nations and Indigenous families, which includes consultation and collaboration, and invitations to share knowledge with the community. At our school, we are fortunate to have several parents who have shared songs, drumming and dancing at different events. After gathering in the field, Archer and Ansley sang the Anishinaabe Bear Song to welcome Spring. Here is the song performed by Turning Point Women’s drum group from Skownan, Manitoba.

Medicine Wheel Teachings:
In the article, “Teaching by the Medicine Wheel: An Anishinaabe framework for Indigenous education,” Dr. Nicole Bell (2014) describes how schools might integrate Indigenous knowledge, and create a process of education that is respectful and culturally relevant for Indigenous families. Bell explains that while there are some variations of teachings and representations of the Medicine Wheel, there are common threads of understanding, including the importance of appreciating and respecting the interconnectedness and interrelationships of all things.

I wanted to incorporate Medicine Wheel teachings into our Spring Equinox gathering. The Medicine Wheel is a circle that is divided into four parts, which represent the four directions (East, South, West, North) using four different colours. Each of the directions include teachings that are interdependent, including the four seasons, stages of life, times of day, medicines, life givers, and learning process.

We organized the students into four sections, from youngest to oldest, starting in the East. Everyone was standing in the field, facing the same direction. As the Junior students read the Thanksgiving Address, everyone followed the movements of the Junior leader at the top of the diamond. The refrain, “And Now Our Minds Are One”, was repeated in chorus, and was the signal for everyone to rotate a quarter turn to the right together. Then, we started to follow the movements of a new leader. The rotations and the movements continued until the Thanksgiving Address was finished.

It was flocking amazing to welcome the new season with movement, gratitude and respect. Happy Spring!!





Melissa Turnbull Mental Health, Occasional Teachers, Occasional Teaching, Teacher Appreciation, Teacher Wellness, wellness

Staff Relationships: COVID Edition

Everyone wants to feel welcomed, liked and seen at their place of work.

To me, this sense of belonging provides me with the confidence and the resources to have conversations with fellow staff, ask questions when I need help and create new connections.

As an OT, creating meaningful relationships with staff you don’t see daily can be difficult. 

Add in a pandemic with a side of cohorting, social distancing and a dash of remote learning and, like many other things this year, you’ve got yourself a challenge.

This school year, I started Occasional Teaching for a new school board in late September. For me, more connections equals more work and more valuable experience.

Using social media, I have been able to reach out and connect with educators who are seeking Occasional Teachers that are comfortable working in their classrooms. Social media has been a wonderful space to both talk and listen to other people like me. Together, we support each other through the many transitions happening this year, answer each other’s questions and lift each other’s spirits. 

As we approach nearly a year of connecting this way, it feels like the new normal. Will our days soon return where we can attend PD sessions with dozens or hundreds of others? Connecting, talking, listening? 

As our methods of supporting each other constantly evolve, we must continue to place importance on creating and maintaining relationships – no matter how great of a task this may feel. 

As grateful as I am for these online connections, they don’t feel the same. They don’t completely and totally measure up to sharing a coffee with someone or looking them in the eye across the table.

Human connection cannot be replaced.

How have you been creating relationships with fellow staff this year?

Kelly.McLaughlin Distance learning, Math, Resources, Teaching online, Technology

Fun and Fresh Friday Math

After attending the OAME  Math conference in 2020, I was able to hear many perspectives about the math classroom and how it should look. One of the speakers was Gerry Lewis (@GLewisOCT) who spoke to us about spiralling as well as what the thinking classroom looks like. He spoke about many incredible concepts, my favourite was definitely an example of his daily math activities. There were many websites Gerry talked about and he described this as a “mini spiral” where you start to introduce spiralling with your students. You could do this by introducing these activities at the beginning of each class (10-15 minutes). Here are some of the websites Gerry introduced me to:

 

We have been spiralling since September and my students have enjoyed the programs listed above. It also is important to review the concepts of the week and I have done that in a few creatives ways. Our favourite thing to do is to review the concepts from the week in a “fun and fresh way” on Fridays. I teach online so all of these programs work well, particularity when students have a second device available.Here are our top three quiz apps. and a review from myself as well as my students:

Knowledgehook:
http://knowledgehook.com

My review:
Knowledgehook is available as an app or on any web browser. It is a live, gameshow style quiz game where the questions are directly linked to our Ontario math curriculum. You can actually find the strand you are working on and lead students through a three question quiz. Students never know who got what answers correct, which I think shocked them at first. Some students ended up sharing how many they got correct in the chat. I enjoy this because you can review the answer afterwards and there is no rush to enter an answer. It is a quick summary of student knowledge at the end of the week and works well. You can view the results after to see where students need help.

Student review:
My students enjoyed this app but they much prefer Kahoot (and other competition based apps).  I think they find this one a little bit boring since it acts as a type of exit card. They do not complain while playing but they request other apps. Again, I think at the end they are just eager to tell each other about their results, so this is what I think they are missing with this app.

Kahoot:
https://kahoot.com/schools-u/

My review:
This is obviously a great tool to use when reviewing concepts from the week. I like it because students are so excited when they hear it is time for a kahoot! I also like using this as a quiz option at the end of a concept but I always remind students to email me if there were any game glitches that affected their final store. I do not enjoy that I have to make my own kahoots to get exactly the content that I want. For a quick exit card, I much prefer knowledgehook. My students have not reacted when they receive a low score this year and I am thankful for that. That is another reason we continue to use kahoot to review, play fun games and sometimes, we just enjoy a random kahoot.

Student review:
My class has some competitive students in it so they do enjoy kahoot for that reason. I think they like to show that they were paying attention during the week and they get super excited when they win. Kahoot was the most requested activity when I read my students review of term one with regards to things that they want to continue. I know kahoot will always be a favourite activity and pairing it with math (which is often not a favourite subject) makes a good combo. I know students have mentioned it is hard to toggle between tabs, so two devices work best for this.

Quizizz:
https://quizizz.com/

Teacher review:
Best for last! So today was our first day using this quiz tool. This is a customizable quiz program where you can use a combination of your own questions as well as questions created by other people. You can select between multiple choice, checkbox, fill in the blank, poll and a few other options. The game format is very fun and I can see exactly how my students did during and after the games. It also shows an anonymous question review at the end to go over with your students to see how many people got each question right and wrong. All names are left out of this page. This program also allows students go through at their own pace so nobody is waiting for the entire class to answer each question. They also do not have to toggle between screens.

Student review:
I am still in shock after hearing this an hour ago but this is the favourite over kahoot. I did not think any quiz app could take its place! I just finished speaking to my students about why they prefer this over kahoot and the specifics are:

  • self paced so students can all finish at different times
  • the opportunity to 50/50 some of the questions like the millionaire show format
  • you can power up and earn some cool features you have an answer streak which may include pausing the timer, etc.
  • you can pick your own background and music during the game
  • you can also retry a question if you get it incorrect (these results will be displayed to me if a student was incorrect during their first attempt)

At first, I expected my students to be frustrated because I was throwing yet another app their way. They were actually so excited to play and ended up enjoying it more than any other app. I will be exploring another program this weekend that one my students shared with me. He explained that I would like it “even more”. https://www.gimkit.com/ I encourage you to try it as well.

I hope everyone can try out these three (or just one) fun Friday math apps! I know my students are so excited when Friday comes along because they can review the skills from the way in a fun way. I appreciate their excitement as we all know, sometimes we only get moans and groans when our students hear the word “math”.

I look forward to keeping you updated on future math quiz apps. Please share any of your experiences with me or any new apps that you have tried. Enjoy!

Tammy Axt General, Professional Learning and Growth

New Spec Ed AQ- Teaching Students with Intellectual Needs (DD)

I just signed up for a brand new AQ that ETFO AQ is offering this spring. It is called Teaching Students with Intellectual Needs (Developmental Disabilities). This AQ was created to support teacher’s professional growth in meeting the needs of their students with Developmental Disabilities.


As a teacher of students with Developmental Disabilities (DD), I have often been approached by colleagues throughout the province asking for help and suggestions on how to meet the needs of their students in inclusive settings. The questions have been plentiful and frequent which tells me that there is a great need for an AQ like this one. Students with DDs are amazing, vibrant, and fantastic members of our classrooms. They bring a unique perspective on the world. They also need a very specialized and individualized program in order to be successful at school. This AQ will give teachers some foundational information to begin to understand the unique needs of students with these exceptionalities.


In preparing for this blog, I was fortunate enough to speak with one of the writers of this new ETFO AQ, Lindsay Freedman. She has been a teacher of students with Special Needs in a variety of settings for many years in the Peel District School Board and is currently a Lead Instructor for ETFO AQ.

Lindsay shared with me that it is important for teachers to take a course that focuses on students with Intellectual Needs for a couple of reasons:
a) Throughout your career, you are going to have a student in your class with an Intellectual Disability. It is not a matter of if; it is a matter of when. This AQ will allow you to be proactive, prepare to meet the needs of these students and learn about the policies and history that will impact your programming decisions.
b) This AQ is important as it will help teachers with inclusion practices. Most school boards in Ontario have a full inclusion policy for students with special needs. This AQ will begin to give teachers the tools to be able to effectively support these students in the classroom and provide an environment that will benefit all learners.
c) If you are an educator that holds Special Education qualifications, this AQ will further expand your knowledge specifically with the many exceptionalities that fall under the Developmental Disability classification. As Lindsay shared, many educators are choosing to specialize more deeply in a specific area such as Behavioural Needs or Communication Needs (LD or ASD). By offering this course, ETFO AQ has really answered educators’ need to go beyond general Special Education courses by continuing to expand the choices available.
d) This course will support you in writing IEPs and transition plans and many of the other mandatory requirements for educators in Ontario. If you have never written either of these documents before, this course will go through step by step how to effectively prepare documentation with a focus on equity and well-being. Personally, I have written IEPs for years and I am really looking forward to seeing if there are any parts that I can refine and improve on.


Knowing that a part of the course focuses on history, I also asked Lindsay, why it is important for teachers to know the history of people with Intellectual Disabilities in Canada?
Lindsay shared with me that to really understand where we are in education, teachers need to realize that there was a shift from institutionalization to inclusion that happened with Bill 82 in 1980. Knowing how people were treated, the absence of services and lack of choice that parents had before this change, provides clarity and empathy. Understanding the history really brings focus to why we have inclusion in Ontario schools. It also highlights how important program and placement choice are for families. During this AQ educators will learn about some of the challenges, awful names and horrible conditions that people with Intellectual Disabilities had to endure and why it’s important for parents to have the right to make choices about their child’s education.

The history of people with Developmental Disabilities is closely connected to many of the policies that were implemented throughout the last 40 years. Educators must understand many of these policies so that they are able to support students correctly. The policies impacting students with Developmental Disabilities will be studied in this new AQ.

Finally, I asked Lindsay, should a new teacher take this course?
She stated that the course will benefit all educators, regardless of teaching experience. It is presented in a very sequenced and practical format so that you are continuously building your skills. For example, when writing an IEP, educators will have access to examples and will be supported to write each section until they have completed an IEP. By the end of the course, teachers should feel confident in the skills they have developed. Lindsay shared that all ETFO AQs are written by teachers for teachers and are easily accessible for teachers at any of their stage of their career.

ETFO AQ is one of the two course providers for this AQ. This AQ is being offered during ETFO AQ’s spring sessions. Registration for the Spring session closes March 30th at 5pm and the course will run from April 6th to June 18th.
You can register here: https://etfo-aq.ca/courses/teaching-students-with-intellectual-needs-developmental-disabilities/

Melissa Turnbull 21st Century Learning, Advocacy for change, Building Inclusion, Gender Equity, Inclusion, LGBTQ2S, Social Justice

International Women’s Day

Happy International Women’s Day!

 

What does this mean to you?
What does this mean to your teaching practice?

 

Feminism is for everyone

“Eighty-one percent of the members of the Elementary Teachers’ Federation of Ontario (ETFO) are women and, in many ways, the history of women teachers reflects the struggles of all Canadian women” (ETFO voice, 2016 https://etfovoice.ca/feature/looking-back-womens-history-ontario-teacher-federations). 

The world needs women. Feminism can be practiced daily by elementary educators in Ontario. Not because we are a group largely composed of women, but because a society that values women is one that promotes equity, opportunity, and growth. Feminism is not exclusively for women. Feminism in the classroom generates a culture founded on inclusivity. This environment creates a safe space for critical thinkers, status-quo challengers and allows students to grow into adults who advocate for positive change. 

You cannot have feminism without intersectionality 

You cannot support women without supporting Black women. Women who belong to racialized groups. Women with disabilities and special needs. Women who are part of the 2SLGBTQ+ community. FNMI women. Women who are marginalized by society. Elderly women. Young women. 

We must support all women, teach about all women, listen to all women and respect all women. To not value the experiences of all women is to misrepresent the harsh reality women have lived and continue to face. Inaccurate or nonexistent representation of women places student learning and well-being at a disadvantage.

Women deserve equitable opportunities and to see themselves reflected in curriculum 

Women merit the encouragement to become involved in science, math, engineering, technology and sports. Our students have the right to equitable opportunities in all aspects of curriculum and school activities. In order to promote these experiences in the classroom, students must see themselves reflected in past and current literature, stories, videos, guest speakers and so on. Let us get rid of those history books that exclude or depreciate women’s accomplishments and rather promote the positive impacts women have made, and continue to make in the world. 

Let’s continue to celebrate women today and every day

Cheers!

Shawna Rothgeb-Bird Challenging Topics, Equity, Gender, Gender stereotypes, LGBTQ2S, Student wellbeing

On Being a Queer Educator in Ontario Schools

If you read Part 1, you’ll know by now that my experience as a student sucked. By the time I went to teacher’s college, I had fully embraced my queerness. I had a reasonably good handle on my identity. As I took my first baby steps into the world of teaching, I had decided that I was going to do better for my students than any of my teachers did for me.

Oh, to have that same youthful optimism and fire.

After ten years, so much of it has been chipped away by constant reminders that the school system and almost everyone in it are still perpetuating the idea that there is a “default” and then there are aberrant identities that are outside of that norm.

Think about your experience as an educator and whether any of these moments have happened at your school:

  • Being asked to “balance” the distribution of boys and girls when creating class lists.
  • Playing “boys vs. girls” in Phys Ed.
  • Having a “boys team” and a “girls team” for intramurals.
  • Creating groups of desks to intentionally mix genders.
  • Having “boys” and “girls” washroom passes.
  • Splitting the class based on gender for health class.
  • Saying “boys and girls” to address your class.

Do those feel innocent to you? No big deal? Look, it’s okay if you have done these things and never thought twice about them. Most of us have. But we have to acknowledge that those types of small actions contribute to the sense that we have a specific set of expectations around what it means to be a “boy” or a “girl.” That we expect all students to even fit into that binary. We have to be better than this.

Students notice these things. Some of them are obvious, like the Phys Ed example, while others you may think are more “behind the scenes” like class lists, but students notice. And when students notice those things, they draw conclusions about what the Institution of Education thinks about who is attending their schools.

And then, there’s how educators approach students who don’t fit those expectations.

I can’t tell you how much it hurts every single time I hear these things:

They’re too young to know they’re trans.

They just want attention.

I think they’re lying.

The other kids won’t get it and will all want to use the all-gender washroom.

I have to inform their parents. 

Fine, but I’m not going to change how I teach.

I can’t talk about this in class because parents will get upset.

I don’t know enough about this to teach any of it.

I don’t have time to do anything that isn’t in the curriculum.

Why do we need a neutral washroom if we don’t have any trans or NB students?

You think you’re commiserating with a colleague. You think you’re just expressing your frustration and stress with a colleague. What you’re doing, when you’re saying these things to a queer colleague, is often retraumatizing them. You’re reminding them of their otherness. You’re showing them that you consider their existence extracurricular and optional.

You’re showing not only your students but your colleagues, too, that you do not think their existence is worth the time to learn about, integrate into your teaching, and normalize.

But wait! There’s more!

Remember back in Part 1, when I talked about fear? And how it kept coming up at the PD day a few weeks back when we were discussing how to use a 2SLGBTQ+ resource in the classroom?

I want to talk about that fear.

When you say you’re scared of parent backlash, what exactly is it about that idea that scares you? What do you think will happen?

Will a parent post about you on social media?

Will a parent complain about you to the board?

Will a parent remove their child from your class?

Or are you scared that a parent will make an assumption that you are queer?

Are you scared that a parent will decide that you are unfit to teach their child?

 

Most importantly, why is it that you think that your fear is more important than your responsibility to your students to support them, validate them, see them, and show them a world where they are not something other and are, instead, just… normal?

 

Do you realize that your 2SLGBTQ+ colleagues and students have lived with fear their entire life? That we hesitate before putting our family photos up in our classrooms, the way that some of you do without thinking twice, because we are worried about the reaction?

 

And we notice, Reader, when you turn equity lessons into events instead of building it into your everyday teaching. We notice when you inform (let’s call it what it is: warn) families before discussing equity in the classroom. We notice when you give families the chance to opt their child out of lessons on equity.

As a queer parent, when I get a letter home “informing me” about an upcoming lesson where the class will be talking about a “challenging topic,” it signals to me that the educator and the school behind this letter consider this topic to be controversial. That there will be different points of view and that those have to be “respected.”

But my life is not a point of view. I have an absolute, inalienable, unassailable RIGHT to exist. 2SLGBTQ+ people are not a matter of debate, we are not an opinion – our existence is objectively right and we have an obligation, as educators, to promote and defend that existence just as fervently as we do all others.

When you leave space for debate, when you “respect all points of view” in your classroom, you’re telling your queer students and colleagues that you think it’s okay that some people believe that their existence is wrong.

And we notice that.

We notice when you refer to teaching about 2SLGBTQ+ as a challenging topic. Why is it challenging? 

Does it make you uncomfortable? Examine that, because that’s some problematic nonsense right there. 

Do you feel like you don’t know enough? Then educate yourself, just like you probably look up half of the Science curriculum every time you change grades. Or maybe that’s just me.

Are you scared of having to defend your teaching? Your board and union have both taken public stances in defense of 2SLGBTQ+ rights and they’re protected in the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms, so settle down.

Do you think you’re going to face a lot of questions from students that you may not know how to answer? Isn’t that… pretty much a daily experience in teaching, no matter what subject? Embrace learning WITH your students.

I’m glad that it’s becoming more commonplace to talk about 2SLGBTQ+ experiences, identities, and perspectives in class, but if you feel like you need to or even can warn your students’ families before discussing equity in the classroom, quite frankly, you aren’t talking about equity often enough.

 

Finally, I want you to know all the good things I notice, too.

I notice when you introduce yourself with your pronouns.

I notice when you don’t say “moms and dads” to your students.

I notice when you teach with books showing queer experiences – both as the lesson itself and without making the character’s queerness be THE POINT, because hey, we’re also just regular people doing regular things and it doesn’t all have to be about being queer.

I notice when you tell your students about the gender neutral washroom on their First Day of School tour.

I notice when you don’t say “boys and girls” to get your students’ attention.

I notice when you embrace inclusive intramural teams.

I notice when I can’t find any of the 2SLGBTQ+ picture books because they’re all out in colleagues’ classrooms being used.

I notice when I walk by your students and overhear them talking about what they’re learning in class.

I notice when students feel safe to explore their identity in your classroom.

I notice when students feel safe to come out in your classroom.

I notice when you don’t whisper “gay” like it’s a bad word.

I notice when you don’t wait for me to be the one to say, “This long standing practice is problematic and rooted in homophobia. Can we change it?”

 

There’s a long road ahead of us. When educators are more scared of community backlash than they are of harming their students, we have to call that out.

Your inaction is causing harm.

Your fear is causing harm.

Your students deserve better than that.

Shawna Rothgeb-Bird Building Inclusion, Challenging Topics, Equity, Gender, LGBTQ2S

On Being a Queer Student in Ontario Schools

Recently, there was a PD day in my board where the morning was dedicated to equity training. We started with a discussion about a book that has been provided for every school in the OCDSB titled George. 

If you’re unfamiliar with the book, here is a brief synopsis from Scholastic Canada: 

A bright, bold debut about a girl who was born a boy, but refuses to let that stand in the way of her dream.

More than anything else, George wants to play Charlotte in her fourth-grade class’s production of Charlotte’s Web. The problem is, her teacher won’t let her, because George is a boy. But George isn’t about to let that squash her dream. With the help of her best friend, George must learn to stand up for her wish — and brave a few bullies along the way.

Transcending all categories and genres, George is a pertinent and poignant middle-grade read for kids of all backgrounds.

As soon as this discussion was presented to us, I felt my heart rate increase. I debated turning my camera off (we were doing this PD remotely) so that my colleagues couldn’t see my reactions. We were given a few minutes to explore some questions about how we would approach this text in the classroom and share our thoughts on a collaborative whiteboard.

Reader, I didn’t make it past the first question: “What biases do we have that we may bring to the text?”

I didn’t make it past this question because I kept seeing the word FEAR come up on the screen in front of me. I started to sweat. My leg started shaking restlessly. I found it hard to sit still. I grit my teeth and started adding my thoughts next to theirs: 

Why do we have to “warn” families that we are going to use this resource?

This implies that there is something controversial about being queer.

As educators, we have to make students feel seen and validated.

I’m not going to go through a detailed account of how that “training” went for me. I still haven’t fully recovered. It was an incredibly difficult day to get through and I left feeling overwhelmed by how much work there is to do in education to do better for our students. I’m going to talk about that “FEAR” idea later, after I put some of this in the context of Who I Am.

What I am going to do here is challenge the idea that discussions about 2SLGBTQ+ people, perspectives, and experiences are a challenging or uncomfortable topic in the classroom. This is going to be a two-parter, so bear with me. Maybe even a three-parter. Who knows when I’ll get to the exact point I’m trying to make.

In this first part, I’m going to talk about my experience as a student in this province.

In my Twitter bio, I describe myself as “Queer AF.” My profile picture has the pan flag as a background. I grew up in the ‘80s and ‘90s in a small town close to Ottawa and went to Catholic school from JK to OAC (grade 13, that magical year that no longer exists).

I know many people can point to the exact moment when they realized they’re queer, but I can’t. In many ways, it feels like I’ve just… always known. Because I’ve always been queer. What I needed, as a child, was the opportunity to see myself reflected in lessons, stories, media, discussions in the classroom.

That is not what I got.

There is something wrong with me. 

I can’t tell you how many times that thought ran through my head as a child. As a teenager. As a student. I remember watching movies and shows, reading books, seeing families in the news, and trying to imagine myself as an adult. Sometimes, I could see myself in these families. Sometimes, I could see myself fulfilling the role that society was very clearly expecting me to take on.

Sometimes, though, I couldn’t. There would be moments where I’d imagine myself as a Wife to a Husband and it just felt… wrong. Like it didn’t fit.

I got older. People started developing crushes. We’d talk, as friends, about who we “liked.”

I never liked anyone. I never had crushes. That’s what I told myself, anyway, because everything we were taught was that girls would have crushes on boys, boys would have crushes on girls, and that was that. That’s how “biology” worked. 

It wasn’t until later that I realized that oh, I had crushes, they just… were all on girls.

I sat in class thinking about this often. Why was I broken? What was wrong with me? I would try to pick out boys that maybe, one day, I could convince myself I liked. Sometimes it worked, fleetingly, but most of the time, I felt indifferent.

I moved on to high school. I wrote a love letter (yes, it was immediately shared around the school, and yes, it was mortifying) to a boy. I was deeply set in my feeling that everyone can tell that I am very broken inside and I needed someone to think that no, I’m normal, see? I have crushes on boys! I’m just a regular girl! Just like everyone else!

I think I had everyone else mostly convinced that I was straight, but I had trouble making and keeping friends all the same because the depth of that feeling of otherness was overwhelming. I struggled with mental health, self-harm, depression. 

I even tried to be a Good Catholic Girl in grade 11. I became very interested in liturgies. I tried very hard to make prayer work for me. When it came time for Reconciliation, I thought, This is it. This is where I can fix everything. 

I confessed to having feelings for other girls. But also, sometimes boys! I’m– I’m redeemable, right? This is my big chance! I’ll tell the truth, I’ll pray, I’ll do my penance, and then I’ll be “better.”

And at school, in a school-sanctioned (and required) event, with school staff, I was told that I would go to hell. It confirmed my fears that I was broken. Fundamentally wrong. A sinner. Don’t you want to have children? Don’t you want to go to Heaven? Don’t you want God’s love?

These questions, thrown at me like accusations by the school chaplain, are burned in my mind. The memories are like scars. I actually wrote them down. I kept the journal where I wrote that down for years, for some… awful, self-loathing reason. I don’t know why.

I was shaken by that. My mental health declined even further. I became convinced that my mental health was just another example of how irrevocably screwed up I was as a person. I mean, everyone else around me was “normal.” People were dating. In movies and shows, everyone was straight. If a character came out in the media, it was shocking. Because it wasn’t “normal.”

I withdrew into the online world even more than I had before. I threw myself into the online roleplaying community, playing make-believe as all manner of characters from different genres. I wrote stories – so, so many stories. I read fanfiction. I learned what “slash” and “shipping” meant.

Most importantly, online, I found the queer community. It was sneaky, at first – just little glimpses of other people who were like me, hidden in their writing and the characters they played. I started to wonder if I wasn’t so alone. In time, this world of beautiful, bright, loving, ABSOLUTELY NORMAL PEOPLE helped me see that it wasn’t me that was wrong, it was the world I was expected to live in that was.

And reader, that made me so angry. I had wasted so much time hating myself, trying to fix myself, trying to be someone I wasn’t. I had hurt myself, and in the process, I had hurt my family, too. I had pulled away from them because I didn’t want to cause them pain by being their broken kid.

Furious at my own ignorance to my identity, emboldened by my online friends, determined that none of this should be this way, I came out as bisexual at school in grade 12.

The reaction was swift, decimating, and brutal. People teased. People joked. In that same journal from before, I kept track of the things people said to me: I was doing this for attention. I was saying this because I was too ugly or weird to get a boyfriend. Besides, I couldn’t be bi if I’d never even kissed a girl to know if I really wanted to. What a weirdo. What a freak. Obviously I’m screwed up, since I also have all those scars on my arms. Hey, is that why I was trying to die? Because I knew how screwed up I was?

I hid. I got quiet. I did not talk about being bi after a few weeks of that misery. By OAC, I think most people had forgotten about my moment of “attention-seeking” and moved on to some other target. It wasn’t until I had moved away and started university that I let myself explore my identity and figure out some small piece of who I am.

So. You’ve read all of that, and you’re wondering what any of this has to do with education, maybe? Maybe you think that none of the responsibility for this fell on the school, because after all, it wasn’t my teachers saying that I was a freak. It wasn’t my teachers saying that I was broken or looking for attention.

The thing is, they also didn’t normalize 2SLGBTQ+ identities. They didn’t talk about them at all. And because they never brought them into the class, not only did I sit there feeling like I was fundamentally broken because I couldn’t relate to what I was seeing – my peers internalized the idea that cis-het is the norm and everything else outside of that is deviant.

In short, school created, presented, and perpetuated a perception that being cis-het is the default. If any other perspectives ever came up, they were immediately juxtaposed with the Straight Experience. If students tries to explore queer topics in their work, they were summarily shut down, implying that there was something about it that was wrong or inappropriate for school.

School let me down.

There was a chance for school to be the place where my peers were shown a wide range of experiences, perspectives, and identities to broaden their worldview.

Instead, they perpetuated one experience and held it up as the one you’re supposed to have.

And we’re still doing it, but that’s what Part 2 of this is going to be about.

If you read all of that, thanks. There’s a lot in here that I’ve never said out loud – not to my partner, not to my family, not to my friends.

But it was time.

See you in Part 2.