Illness, Shame and the Educator Martyr Complex

A recent Twitter post from Liz Ryan @humanworkplace read:

Coronavirus is teaching us that:

  1. Healthcare is a right
  2. Paid sick time is a right
  3. Many, many people could do their work from home (clearly not teachers)
  4. We are more dependent on a healthy society than we want to acknowledge

This tweet got me thinking about a couple of things. It got me thinking about how teachers and education workers drag ourselves into work when we are ill.  When I first began teaching I used to do this all of the time.  I thought for sure that my students absolutely needed me to be there and the classroom would fall apart in the hands of any other teacher. I was worried that my classroom would be a disaster and I would find notes about behaviour behind from the occasional teacher and thought that this was somehow my fault. So I would drag myself to work not feeling well, extending the sickness for myself and thoughtlessly exposing my students and colleagues to the illness.  I hear it all the time in the staffroom, “I probably should have stayed home but I figured that I had better drag myself in because…”  It is a martyr complex.  Get over yourself.  You are not irreplaceable. There is no reward for going to work ill.

This tweet also got me thinking about how much I appreciate the work our occasional teachers do each day.  Just by doing their job, they allow me to be able to stay at home and get better.  They are professionally trained teachers.  As fellow colleagues and ETFO members I trust that they intend to do the best for our students when they enter our classrooms.

The tweet also got me thinking about the shame and guilt that educators often feel when they are ill.  I mean, if so-and-so drags themselves into work even though they are sick then it starts to build a culture of expectation.  This is ridiculous.  This is how disease spreads.  Stay home and come back when you’re well. No one will thank you for getting them sick.

The tweet also got me thinking about how education unions have fought to keep our paid sick time and how much I appreciate it when I am ill.  A few years ago I had to take an extended medical leave and as guilty as I felt, it was the best thing I could have done for myself and my students. I had to work through the guilt.  If we didn’t have the benefits that we do, I might have had to quit the profession altogether.

I’ve typed lesson plans in between bouts of nausea.  I’ve sent plans from my phone in a hospital waiting room. At the end of the day, it was worth it to take the time to get better for me, for my colleagues and ultimately for my students.

 

Mindfulness in Education

There is a significant amount of research about the benefits of mindfulness in education.  Much of the research shows that consistent mindfulness practices in classrooms lead to lower stress levels and higher test scores.  It is a hot topic and wanting to to do the best for students, we are seeing more of it in schools. There are all kinds of books and videos on breathing and mindfulness exercises for reduction of stress for kids.  I have learned to practice meditation myself and I have used some mindful practices with my students and believe that at the right time and in the right circumstance mindfulness practices can be powerful.  I am left wondering, however, if the practice of mindfulness in some cases is becoming routine or something to check off on a plan and not truly ‘mindful’ at all?

Let’s take yoga for example.  Yoga instructors go through intense hours of study in order to practice and teach others.  However, teachers pop on a kids yoga YouTube video and we’re “being mindful”.  I’m not being critical.  I have done it myself!  My question or wondering is; what are the implications of these actions on a broader level?  Yoga is about mind and body.  My worry is that we are literally “going through the motions” with students and not really giving them a true mindful experience.

How about a timed meditation?  Everyone drop everything and take part in a guided meditation right now!  I understand the idea behind this strategy; the whole school is engaging in the practice at the same time. However, isn’t the idea that students will learn to develop mindfulness skills to help them in stressful situations? It is a starting place, but hopefully there is more in-depth practice and explicit teaching happening.  Otherwise isn’t it more a kind of fast-food approach to mindfulness?

Mindfulness needs to have an environment that is conducive to practice.  Norms and expectations need to be established and there has to be “buy in” from the students. Students require a variety of skills in order to truly practice mindfulness and they need to be explicitly taught so that students can use what they know in order to transfer the knowledge into other situations.  Finally, it has to be modeled by the adults in the room.  If there is mindfulness being practiced, everyone should be doing it and debriefing the experience and learning together.  If a teacher is busy organizing the classroom library while the students are being mindful, it won’t demonstrate that mindfulness is valued.

We can’t be experts at everything.  We can’t always have a certified yoga teacher come into our classroom.  Whatever we are teaching it must be done with intention, done explicitly and through modeling.  Going through the motions out of habit and routine may do more harm than good.

 

 

Holiday Break Assumptions

December is stressful for so many reasons.  Seasonal concerts and plays, crafts and the general hustle and bustle around this time of year.  While teachers attempt to make things fun and engaging for the last few weeks before the holiday, there are a few things to consider about assumptions that as educators we might make about our students.

Not every child is looking forward to the holidays.

As working adults we look forward to the break from our daily occupations at this time of year.  For us it means a chance to regroup and reconnect.  However, for some students it may mean a lack of routine and structure which can provoke anxiety.  The reality is that some students may find school the safest place in their lives.  The two weeks off of school at the end of the December will inevitably happen for everyone however, not every kid is looking forward to it.  So it may be best not to focus on the “Countdown to Break.”

Children living in poverty.

For those children living in families who celebrate the season with any kind of gift giving, this can be a time of stress and anxiety for parents and invariably children.  According to parenting expert Alyson Schafer, “Parents of low-income families will often put themselves last in order to shield their kids from poverty and the parents’ health and well-being suffers for it.”  Some parents may even skip meals or prescription medication in order to have enough money to buy gifts.  Whether the children are aware of their family’s financial situation or not, they will witness wealthier classmates getting more at this time of year and it can be difficult for those children.   While this is the time of year that many schools engage in a food drive, teachers need to remember that some students may not be able to donate and in fact, there may be students in your class or school whose family accesses the food bank.  It doesn’t mean that would need to stop these charitable acts.  As educators we just need to be aware of the assumptions that we make about our students when we engage in the activities.

Those “fun” activities aren’t always “fun” for everyone.

This time of year gets busy in a school.  There are often more announcements, events and things for sale or collection.  Students who already struggle in school find this time of year difficult because of the multitude of interruptions to regular routines.  When possible, keep things as simple as possible for your students.  I have always found that keeping as much routine as possible in my classroom at this time of year provided much needed comfort and predictability.

 

 

 

Triggers and Habits in Teaching Part One

Dreaded Seating Arrangements

Almost every teacher I talk to says, “I have a really difficult class this year.”  The difficulties identified are most often tied to “behaviour” issues.  In my experience effective classroom “management” can be connected to dynamic programming and developing solid relationships with students. Many of us go to things like Class Dojo or incentive programs to “manage” behaviour and some have their merits.  However, they might “manage” behaviour, but does it help student to learn to self-regulate?  I understand that there are students who have behaviour safety plans that can provide challenges and I do not mean to downplay the effect that even one student’s behaviour can have on an entire class.  However, there are ways in which we can have small tweaks in our triggers and habits in teaching that will have a positive outcome on developing a community of learners.

So what is a trigger?  A trigger in psychological terms can  used to describe sensations, images or experiences that re-visit a traumatic memory.  It can also mean to make something happen very quickly; a reaction.  It is also referred to as an event that kicks off the automatic urge to complete a habit.*  Habits are seen as something that people do often or regularly.  Habits can even be unconscious behaviours and sometimes difficult to stop.  What do triggers and habits have to do with teaching?

Over the years I think I have become more self aware in the classroom about my own triggers and habits.  It is easy to continue to do a routine in a classroom simply because it is something that we have always done. Even when we have sound pedagological reasoning, it can be difficult to change or cease a habit. For example, for many years I put names on the desks of students before they entered the classroom on the first day of school.  I don’t really know why I began this habit.  Besides a wedding, some kind of gala or a reservation at a restaurant, I get to choose where I sit every day.  It is a fairly important life skill.  I’m not going to find my name on a seat on the city bus.  Once I recognized that this routine was purely out of habit and was “triggered” by the first day of school, I decided to change it up.  On the first day of school with a grade 4-5 class, the students came into the room and sat wherever they wanted. I admit that this made the perfectionist in me who loves order, routine and habit rather uncomfortable.  I had some students sit in groups, some in pairs and some on their own.  Then we had a class meeting about how they had felt when they entered the room and had to make their seating choice.  There was talk of anxiousness, sweaty palms, heart rate increase, fear of missing out and for some it was no big deal.  I decided to create a google form to survey the students about where to sit in the classroom, how often we would change it up and who would decide.  The results of the survey were fascinating.  Some students wanted me to choose where they sat and wanted to have that same spot every day for 194 days.  Some never wanted to “sit” in a group but wanted to be a part of it during group work time.  We came up with a plan that each Monday the students would choose where to sit for the week and the students who wanted a regular spot would be able to keep it and the other students would respect their choices without question.  We also had some extra choices for seating that students could go to if their choices for that week weren’t working out.  The students gained incredible insight into self-regulation.  I heard things like, “I sat with Gracie all week and we’re such good friends, I didn’t get my work done so I’m not going to sit with her next week.”  or  “I don’t hang out with Olivia but I know she is a serious student so I’d like to sit with her in a group.”

It isn’t easy to be self aware while we are trying to keep our head above water, collect permission forms, listen to announcements, adjust our day plan for the assembly that was announced, deal with a parent that wants to chat in the hallway AND teach curriculum.  I GET that…however, being aware of triggers and habits and making small tweaks to our teaching behaviour can make a big difference in our classroom community.

*106:Triggers-The Key to Building and Breaking Habits, Chris Sparks, 2018

 

Daring Classrooms

I state the obvious when I say that teaching is a demanding job.  If you are reading this, you are most likely a teacher and this is not news to you.  I’d like to highlight a resource that feeds the soul of a teacher (and quite frankly a human being) while also providing some strategies for integrating that soul feeding into your classroom practice for your students.  Wait, what…that exists?  It is a website from Brene Brown called Daring Classrooms.  If you haven’t heard of her yet, you can find “The Call to Courage” on Netflix and/or her Ted Talk on Vulnerability.  She is inspirational in leadership, in life and in work.  Here is a snippet from her #DaringClassrooms website:

“Teachers are some of our most important leaders. We know that we can’t always ask our students to take off the armor at home, or even on their way to school, because their emotional and physical safety may require self-protection.

But what we can do, and what we are ethically called to do as teachers, is create a space in our schools and classrooms where all students can walk in and, for that day or hour, take off the crushing weight of their armor, hang it on a rack, and open their heart to truly being seen.

Teachers are the guardians of spaces that allow students to breathe and be curious and explore the world and be who they are without suffocation. Students deserve one place where they can rumble with vulnerability and their hearts can exhale.

And what I know from the research is that we should never underestimate the benefit to a child of having a place to belong—even one—where they can take off their armor. It can and often does change the trajectory of their life.

Teachers: Everyday should be Teacher Appreciation Day. I am so grateful for you and your willingness to show up and create brave, safe spaces where our children can learn, grow, and be seen.”

Some of the short (8-12 minute) video resources from Daring Classrooms include:

How do we avoid the pressure to please?

How do teachers manage oversharing?

How do we help parents understand failing as part of the learning process?

Does the word “disappointed” shame students?

In addition to the video resources there are free downloads for resources, parenting the classroom and daily life.  There are pdfs that you can print out for working with students.  My favourite one is the list of core emotions.  Sometimes when students have triggers they can’t always name or explain the emotion that caused the trigger in behaviour.  Being able to learn about the names and the definitions of core emotions is helpful for students to self-regulate.

Every year in a classroom brings new challenges.  In fact, every day in a classroom will bring on a new challenge.  I hope that as you lead your own #DaringClassroom you will find this resource helpful and that it may feed your teacher soul.

School year start up

A new school year has begun again and I am once again teaching grade eight, in my opinion, the most exciting and enriching grade I have taught so far.

The first few weeks have been incredible because of the honest conversations we had week one about how great their year can be if they make it that way. We talked about fun trips, ideas and awards that go on during their grade eight year. We talked about what the ideal classroom looks like, sounds like and smells like (ha!) so we made some ideas on how we can achieve those goals. The students have done an amazing job so far on adhering to all of the goals they set out for our own classroom.

A few things have been making this start up so incredible:

  1. There are many student leaders in the classroom who have helped to set the tone for all of the other students in the room. They model positive behaviours and shut down negative ones. There is little to no times where I have interjected to tell them what I expect because another student has already done that for me.
  2. I have already received the help during breaks and afterschool of about 9 or 10 students with teams that go on at our school. These leadership activities have made them stand out in the classroom as well as the extra responsibility has made them thoroughly enjoy each day. That feeling that they are making a difference in their school shows everyday in their mood and behaviours. I am hoping even more students will be interested in these opportunities as only ten of the 26 have stepped up so far. I have awarded these students with small circular stickers that they put on their desk organizers. At the end of the year, we will see who has volunteered the most and those students will be eligible for a token of appreciation (not sure what that will look like yet). It will also help the staff with selecting grade eight awards because they will see who has given up so much of their time for our school community.
  3.  I have offered students homework to complete every night which will help them prepare for grade nine. 19 out of the 26 students have taken this homework and completed it each night. I have three ESL students who I am working on preparing appropriate homework for them so then it will be 22 out of 26. We take up this homework each morning and new homework is given out every night before they go home. The fact that it is optional makes students actively take the initiative to better themselves and their after school time. I am so proud of these students as I mentioned it will help them get ready for grade nine and the few students who took that opportunity last year had the highest marks in the school (they won the principal’s award). It is great hearing groups of students want to hang out after school to work on homework. It is definitely a good after school option for them.
  4. I also have offered students level four or above and beyond opportunities that go with each task we have completed as a class. Seeing those 10-12 students select that option is awesome as they are actively selecting to do better and to challenge themselves each day. I remember being in school not knowing the difference between all of the levels and not knowing how my teacher came up with my mark. I make sure all of my students know how they can excel to the highest level possible.

 

I think all of these things working together have made it impossible for the students in my room to have a negative experience or to make the day negative for someone else. It is incredible to see such focus and leadership day to day and it makes me so proud of my class. I was away last week at a junior baseball tournament (coached by two of my students) and my supply left only this note, “Your class rocks!” This would not have been possible last year as I must have missed many of these steps in the school year start up. I am really hoping the year will continue in this positive manner.

Having faith in your students and challenging them daily is the best way to go 🙂

Don’t Judge a Teacher By The Bulletin Board

I remember going to the Reading for the Love of It Conference in Toronto for the first time as a fairly new teacher.  I heard Mary Bigler  speak in a motivational keynote address.  She told a story that has stuck through me through the years.  It was about a brand new teacher who was full of energy, enthusiasm,  great “new” ideas and some judgement about her “older” colleague across the hall that taught the next grade.  This young teacher, (let’s call her Samantha), made sure that students were working in co-operative groups and made the learning exciting and engaging.  The teacher across the hall (let’s call her Eunice) had a structured, desks-in-rows, routine program and a quiet classroom.   Samantha often stayed after school into her evenings changing her bulletin boards and arranging desks into new formations.  Eunice would often leave shortly after the bell and sometimes her bulletin board was empty!  Throughout the year this Samantha considered her program to be superior.  She had learned all of these “new” strategies in teacher’s college and looked upon the program of her colleague as being antiquated.  She loved hearing that she was the “fun” and “best” teacher.  However, no matter what Samantha tried there were students who she could not seem to reach.  She tried all of the strategies that she had learned and she felt that she had given her all.  When it was time to send her students on to the Eunice for the next grade, Samantha was distraught.  Certainly the students would not do as well as they had in her engaging program.  They would be bored and wouldn’t thrive within the rigid structure Eunice’s classroom. Would those “unreachable” students fall further behind?

Samantha was surprised by what she witnessed in the fall with “her” students.   The students that had experienced her “exciting” program were also enjoying Eunice’s classroom.  They talked with excitement about what they were reading and writing and referred to Eunice as being the “best” teacher.  The few students who Samantha couldn’t seem to reach were thriving with the routine, quiet and structure of their new classroom.  Samantha learned a few things during that first year experience:

1.  You can’t judge a teacher by the bulletin board.  The culture of a classroom can only be truly experienced by the students.  We don’t really know what goes on behind the closed classroom door of a colleague.

2.  Every teacher has a different skill set.  Although Samantha was an engaging and exciting teacher, the students that she couldn’t reach thrived in a routine and structured environment.

3.  Children can have short memories.  In the primary grades, the “best” and “favourite” teacher often changes each year to their new classroom teacher.  It isn’t personal.  It is about the reference point of a six year old.

4.  Comparing ourselves to other teachers doesn’t serve the students.  Working longer hours doesn’t always mean that a teacher is more effective, it might mean that they are less efficient.  Teachers with experience likely have a better understanding of the curriculum and can rely on lessons that they have previously prepared. Teachers who have an understanding of work-life balance also may have more energy to offer their students.

5.  The experienced teacher across the hall has years of experience with strategies to serve the needs of students.  Instead of judging; ask for their help.  Most of them would be more than happy to share their strategies and wisdom with a colleague.

It isn’t about being “Teacher of the Year”. It is about being the teacher that your students need.

 

Teaching in Uncertain Times

When I graduated teacher’s college it was the beginning of the “Harris years”.  Teachers were being declared redundant all over Ontario. I spent three years teaching outside of the province.  Since then I have been through many rounds of collective bargaining-both as a teacher and a local ETFO leader.  I have seen how Ontario’s Provincial governments have continually eroded our collective bargaining rights, stripped our benefits and made working and learning conditions steadily worse for teachers and students.  As you well know, they’re at it again. I’ve been asked, what can new teachers do to make a stand for education while still keeping a focus on our classroom in these uncertain times?

1. Take care of yourself  Anxiety abounds in times of uncertainty and scarcity.  Focus on the present moment as much as possible.  Make sure you have the facts you need but try to stay out of the swirling vortex of unproductive conversation and speculation.  Take time when you need time, do something for yourself that isn’t school related, eat healthy, exercise, if it is something you do-meditate, and get some sleep.  Take one day at a time.

2. Don’t believe everything you hear in the staff room  Well meaning and passionate teachers will discuss the political situation.  Some of the things that you hear will be true and some will not.  The correct information will come from ETFO Provincial office, local ETFO  leadership and your school Steward.

3. Social Media  Social media is a great a source of information but also one of anxiety.  Remember to follow reputable sources such as ETFO and other Ontario Education Unions and get the information you need from reliable sources.  As always, be cognizant of who could be reading your social media posts and pass on correct information.

4. Attend Union meetings and ask questions  Collective bargaining and political legislation can be daunting.  Sometimes it is assumed that everyone in the room knows exactly what is being discussed.  Ask questions when you need clarification.  You might find there are others in need of such clarification too.

5.  Follow the advice of your Union Your Provincial ETFO has a plan of action that is communicated to all local ETFO leadership and ETFO members.  As a new teacher you may feel powerless, but there is strength in members taking action together.  Read your emails from your stewards and participate in political actions when asked.

6.  Support one another These are uncertain times for all teachers and education workers.  It is important to be aware of your own mental health and that of your colleagues.  Check in with your mentor and friends on staff when possible.  A note or a treat in a mailbox, an email or a visit at recess might make the difference in someone’s day.  Remember, other education workers in your school, whether they belong to a union or not, feel the same pressures.

7.  Your students  When the learning begins, your students will always need your full attention.  They will sense the anxiety that you are feeling.  Try to leave the uncertainty and politics at your classroom door as much as possible.  Concentrate on the students that you have in front of you for the next three months.  The students are at the heart of what we do as educators and we will get through this together.

 

Support each other

This is a much needed time for everyone.  The sunlight is increasing. The snow is melting. The temperatures are increasing.  What a time to celebrate?

During this much needed break our government has decided to make announcements of change.  This is quite the political tacticDistraction from what they want us to know. Politicians have become good at using others to create distractions so we don’t see what they are trying to distract us from.

Many events world wide surround us with violence and hate.  These political announcements contribute to the negative feelings of change when times are uncertain.  This makes for troubling times for many.

As educated, caring people stand together and support each other.  Acknowledge the trying times and stand up to the hate. As I walk through my daily life, I make a point to be extra kind. I smile. I pay it forward. I do what I can without using all my resources.  The ripple effect then begins to grow.

During this time of change and political play, stand strong while supporting each other in all areas of this world. We can make a difference.  There is a great history of strife to be where we are today.  We have many strides to make towards a healthy supportive world. These times of political play cause negative energies.  We can stand together to defend all of our rights. Support each other in every way that you are capable. Take time for self care and ask others for help when needed to stay the course.

“We are not equal until everyone is equal.”

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Let’s Talk About Shame

Author Brené Brown from her book “The Gifts of Imperfection” writes that there are three things that people need to understand about shame:

1.  We all have it.  Shame is universal and one of the most primitive human emotions that we experience.  The only people who don’t experience shame lack the capacity for empathy and human connection.

2.  We’re all afraid to talk about shame.

3.  The less we talk about shame, the more control it has over our lives.

While reading this it resonated with me as a teacher.  How many have you experienced Professional Learning Shame?  I’m a professional learning hoarder.  I consume professional learning whenever possible and yet, often I feel shame while experiencing professional learning.  I listen to another teacher who is courageous in sharing strategies and ideas that are meant to help me in my job and ultimately I end up thinking that I must be a poor teacher because I don’t do those things in my classroom. Often I come away feeling worse about myself.  I’ll think, “Well great, obviously everything that I’ve been doing has been ineffective and I need to add THIS onto everything else.” or “I haven’t been doing THAT in my classroom. Clearly I’m not working hard enough. What must my colleagues think of me?”

Shame makes us think that we are somehow not worthy.  I know that I’ve convinced myself of not feeling worthy when I compare my work to other teachers in my school, on Twitter or (cringe)…Pinterest.  I find it difficult to look at myself professionally through an asset lens.  The best way to stop feeling that shame is to talk about it.  Once shame is talked about it tends to lose power and it is easier to let it go.  So, I’m talking about it in a public forum so I can work on building up that resiliency.

I’ve felt shame as a teacher in social situations with people who aren’t educators.  I’ve felt judged, compared and found unworthy.  More than once I’ve heard, “Teachers are paid too much and have far too many holidays and benefits and they’re really just babysitters.”  Whenever a Provincial Government talks about making cuts to education, it sends a message that teachers aren’t worthy of maintaining the current working conditions and fuels the public perception held by some that teachers are unworthy of what we earn.

In our school, whenever EQAO results are returned and we have our fall meeting to talk about the school improvement plan for the year, we celebrate for a nano second the areas in which the student have succeeded and focus intently on the shortcomings.  As a school we know that we all share in the responsibility for the cumulative education of students and feel shame when we look at where we didn’t succeed, but some of my grade 3 and 6 colleagues have told me about how they feel solely responsible for EQAO scores and consequently, feel shame.

Well, this is a downer of a subject, get over it Fenn.  What can we do?  It’s the nature of our job right?  Nope.  There are some great pointers that Brené Brown shares about becoming shame resilient:

1.  Understand when you are feeling shame and recognize what messages and experiences trigger shame for you.

2.  Remember not to equate being imperfect with being inadequate.

3.  Share your stories with people you trust and own your stories.

4.  If you feel shame, name it.  Talk about how your feeling and ask for what you need.

Teachers are constantly in receipt of feedback about their job; from parents, students, administrators, colleagues, the public and themselves.  Staying open to criticism and feedback is what helps us improve education for our students.  We need to take risks to remain open so that we can experience improvement.  However, what we should also try to remember is that everyone is flawed and imperfect but that doesn’t mean that we are lacking.